Love's Unexpected Journey: A Different Path
by Professor Black 04
Summary: AU: Baby Simon doesn't arrive on Christmas Day, making Adelaide and Neil stranded together in his cabin for days during the snowstorm. When the Cove forces their hand in attempts to get their doctor wed again, will Adelaide and Neil find a different way towards happiness and love? Splits from LUJ during ch 10.
1. Chapter 1

**Love's Unexpected Journey: A Different Path**

**A/N:** This story is an AU on my AU... Thank you to all my wonderful readers who read and review _Love's Unexpected Journey_ & _Love's Abiding Joy_. I've become a bit attached to the characters of those stories and I wanted to take them on a different path (I just get the ideas in my head that I just have to try out!). **This is an AU story with an OC**, but it is very much in the Christy universe though it doesn't put Christy and Neil together (I know...the shame!) Christy is happy with David though...this story splits from _Love's Unexpected Journey _during Chapter 10. Neil has just rescued Adelaide from the snowstorm and they are stuck together in their cabin...but the baby never comes during their time together. How does that change the story? Will they get to that happy, fulfilling love that they had in the other stories? That's the premise of the story...hope ya'll enjoy!

**Disclaimer**: All the recognizable characters of Christy belong to the wonderful Catherine Marshall.

**Chapter 1**:

Adelaide looked out the window. "The storm is quite bad, Neil" her voice shook as the wind howled. She felt so jumpy having come so close to danger out in that storm alone. Even now in the safety of the cabin with Neil, she was still frightened.

"Aye" Neil nodded, his eyes always discerning, "but you are safe in here. We have plenty of wood and food and supplies. We'll be fine for a few days at least."

"A few days?" she shifted, her hand on her very swollen belly. "Are you sure we are stuck here?"

"Aye" Neil told her, "and you are damn fortunate you are here and not out there"

"I know" Adelaide paused, "I'm grateful, Neil, but..." she couldn't hide the worry, "are we in trouble here?"

"Propriety wise?" Neil asked her, frankly.

She nodded, rubbing her back, absently, it completely strained and aching from her adventure in the snowstorm. The gesture was not missed by Neil.

"Come sit down" Neil hopped up and gripped her elbow, this time guiding her back to sit on the couch with him, so he could push her down if she tried to get up again. He knew when she was restless and anxious, she tended not to be able to sit still. "you are thirty-nine weeks pregnant and just strained yourself in that storm, ye need to be off your feet"

She sat with him and he moved a stool over so she could elevate her feet. "You are not answering my question" she said, still patting her belly.

"Let's not worry about that now, Adelaide" Neil said. "I don't want you stressed"

"But I'm so pregnant, you don't really think people would think..." her face reddened considerably, "I mean surely..." she paused, not knowing how to delicately state what was on her mind.

"You really are stubborn" Neil stood to stoke the fire, "you know that, don't you?"

"I have been told" she confessed as she watched him.

"I'm asking you not to worry about that now, lass" Neil said, quietly, "and considering I just rescued you from this storm _and_ was the one to call you parents for you, you could respect that"

She couldn't deny he was right in that regards. She was dreading having to tell her parents that she had wandered off so far while she was about to have the baby and now was improperly stuck for days with an unmarried man. She might be a widow about to deliver her first child, but even that was too much for her to take.

She sighed, "You're right"

"Any more contractions?" he asked, casually.

She shook her head, "They baby will probably be 2 weeks late and all of this is just him or her teasing me"

He nodded. "I hope. I know you don't want me delivering the babe unless there is a problem"

"I really don't, no offense" Adelaide said.

"None taken" Neil told her. The baby moved, visibly shifting her whole belly.

"Ahh" Adelaide winced. "I am sore now that the baby is so big" she shifted again, trying to get comfortable. "Nobody ever tells you that"

"Among other things?" Neil asked, amused.

"Actually, yes" she shook her head, wearily. "Thankfully I knew most of what to expect from my nursing, but still"

"You do look miserable" Neil told her, candidly.

"Thank you, Doctor MacNeill, your bedside manner never fails to impress me" she grinned.

"Well, you aren't technically my patient right now" he said, smiling back at her good natured teasing.

"No, I suppose I'm not"

"I'll be back" he went into the lab to get her a pillow. "Lean up now. Good girl" he put the pillow behind her back. "Is that better?'

"Much, thank you" she said. She patted her stomach, "It's rest time now, little one"

The baby moved again.

Neil laughed as he sat back down beside her, "the babe listens so well to you, Adelaide" he teased, his eyes dancing.

She sighed, "I'm thinking it's a sign of days ahead. I'm sure Simon would have had this little one under his thumb"

"You'll do great with the wee one" Neil told her. "How were you as a girl, Adelaide?"

"Lovely and compliant" Adelaide retorted, "didn't cause a lick of problems"

Neil snorted, "I highly doubt that"

She laughed, "It is true, Neil. It wasn't until I was older that my rebellious nature emerged. Christy was always the mischievous one, but she was the baby and cute, so my parents pretty much ignored all of her mischief making"

He inclined his head, "And you were the responsible big sister"

She nodded, "You can confirm it all with my parents later"

He chuckled, "I believe you, lass. And I'd wager, you were the pensive one, holding all of it inside of you"

"I was that"

"Top of your class" he guessed.

"Yes, I was such a perfectionist about my marks" she admitted.

"How much of a perfectionist?" he asked.

"I'm ashamed to admit how much" Adelaide said, "What were you like?"

"A complete rascal" Neil responded.

Adelaide chuckled, "You do have a strong will. I don't think I would have wanted to be your mother"

"Probably not" he told her.

She looked at her belly and then back up to him, "Did you have brothers and sisters?"

He nodded.

"And?"

"There were six of us. They are all gone" Neil said.

"All of them?" her voice held her surprise. They had never talked about Neil's family, but Adelaide assumed he had family somewhere, but Aunt Hattie was truly the only family he had left.

"Aye, the three of my siblings that made it past infancy died of typhoid, scarlet fever, influenza throughout the years" he sighed, "There was no doctor here- Granny's word was gospel, as it often still is today, but unfortunately, while some of her remedies worked, a lot of them were just plain old wives tales"

"And you parents?" she asked, softly.

"My mother when I was in Scotland and my father while I was completing my residency in Philadelphia"

She frowned. "I'm sorry, Neil"

He nodded. "We all lived here in this cabin. It's been in my family for generations. I was an active lad, mischievous- constantly drove my parents towards insanity"

"How did they handle it?"

"Probably harshly by your standards" he responded. "Had my hide tanned often"

"Do you really feel like that amount of harshness is appropriate?"

"I didn't feel like they were overly harsh- strict, yes, but I never felt unloved" he paused, then looked at her squarely, "physical punishment in itself is appropriate discipline, Adelaide, and I was _never_ abused"

"Do you think Bird's Eye is abusive towards Lundy?"

"I think Bird's Eye takes his frustration about his wife on his son" he told her. "But in spite of what Christy might have told you, the man does have some redeeming qualities"

"Such as?"

"He is entirely loyal to his friends" Neil replied, "Think about how he treats Opal or Aunt Hattie. The world isn't so black and white, Addie. There are those shades of grey"

She twirled the end of her hair, absently, contemplating his words. "I suppose you are right"

He nodded, accepting her judgment. "Are you never going to spank this wee one?" he gestured to her tummy.

"No" she shook her head, solemnly, "I've been reading this book and it really frowns upon physical punishment as discipline"

Neil raised an eyebrow, "Who wrote such nonsense?"

"It's not nonsense" Adelaide retorted, "It is written by a very respectable physician"

"What type of physician?" he looked, skeptical.

"A woman who has raised four children while running her practice"

"You mean whose nanny raised four children while she ran her practice" Neil clarified.

"Well, regardless, the book makes a lot of sense" she told him, "I'll let you borrow it, if you'd like"

"That's alright" Neil's eyes twinkled, "I'll take your word"

"It really isn't nonsense" Adelaide defended.

"Let's see you with a hellion of a two year old and see how long it takes you to give him smacks on the bottom" Neil chuckled.

"My child isn't going to be a hellion" Adelaide smiled at him. "He'll have Simon's easy going nature"

"I'm sure" Neil smiled at her.

They fell silent, easy with each other's company, when Adelaide spoke again, "Tell me about your ancestors, Neil. Miss Alice said there was a story there. I'd love to hear it now if you don't mind"

"I'd like to tell you it" he said.

They spent the next few hours, talking about anything and everything until it was the wee hours of the night.

Adelaide yawned.

"You are falling asleep" Neil told her.

"No" she shook her head.

"You are" he chuckled.

"Maybe" Adelaide said, "but in my defense, I'm not used to all your late night medical calls..."

"and you are growing a wee one inside of you" Neil said, "you'll be used to late nights soon"

"Oh, don't remind me!" Adelaide said, with a smile. "Do you want me to just sleep in the lab?"

"The lab is a mess" he said, frowning.

"That's fine" Adelaide said, "I can clean it up for you"

"Adelaide, its one o'clock in the morning" he countered.

"Is it really that late?" she asked. As if on cue, the clock struck one. "I suppose it is"

"You need your rest" he said, "Take my bed for the night. I'll sleep on the sofa"

Adelaide shook her head, swiftly. "I don't think that is a good idea"

"Why not?" he demanded.

"Well, I can't sleep in your bed" she crossed her arms, "For one, what would my mother say?"

"Considering you are a mature lass of twenty two, you don't have to tell her" he grinned at her.

She rolled her eyes at him. "I still don't feel right about it. It's your bed and it really isn't proper regardless of what my mother would say"

"Listen to me, we are already sunk propriety wise" Neil told her, "I want you comfortable"

"You said not to worry about it" Adelaide titled her head, "Just how sunk are we, Doctor MacNeill?"

He gave her an impish grin, "The worst thing that can happen from all of this is that they insist we marry"

"Who?" Adelaide's eyes were wide.

"The Cove"

"Neil" Adelaide reached up to grip his arm as he stood. He turned back to help her up off the couch. "I'm so pregnant, surely they don't assume we would do anything inappropriate"

Neil looked at her evenly, "It wouldn't be enough for them to assume we wouldn't"

Her eyes widened, "Is that so?" she asked, aghast.

He chuckled at her shocked expression, "Aye, lass"

"I don't know quite what to say to that" she responded.

"So great with the babe and still so innocent to the ways of the world" He teased as he winked at her.

"More like the ways of the Cove" Adelaide retorted, "I just can't imagine. They really..." she shifted, awkwardly, "this far along?"

"It's true" Neil confirmed, "The grannies have always encouraged it. Says it brings on laboring"

"I doubt that" Adelaide said.

"I wouldn't be so sure" Neil shrugged. "But to get back to your original concern, considering the closeness of our friendship and you are my nurse, it's a touchy situation"

"They would really think we would do something?" she paused, "Will there be problems for you?"

"I honestly don't know" Neil's look never faltered. "I'm more concerned about you though and your reputation"

He was so sweet to her at times. Her mood shifted, suddenly, as tears sprang to her eyes. Her lip trembled.

"No" Neil's voice became low, "none of that now"

The tears fell, "I've put you in a horrible situation through my carelessness and all you have done is be the best friend to me"

He reached out to squeeze her hand. "Listen to you. I'm not overly worried. We'll deal with it when it comes" He dropped her hand to wipe away her tears with his thumb, "please don't cry. The most important thing in all of this is that you are safe, Adelaide. I'm grateful I found you when I did. When I think of what could have happened" he paused for a few moments, looking at her intently, before adding, quietly, "It will work itself out, lass"

"Thank you" she said, her throat dry, "for saving me from the storm. I don't think I told you that. I was so scared"

He impulsively leaned over to kiss her head, "You're welcome, Adelaide"

Her stomach stirred.

"Take my bed tonight, please"

She acquiesced almost immediately, "Okay" she wiped her tears.

"Good" he reached for the lantern. "I'm going to try to find you something to wear tonight"

"I'll be fine" Adelaide said.

He shook his head. "The bottom of your skirt is still soaked through, Adelaide even with sitting by the fire. You should have problem taken it off"

She sighed, "Yes, I know"

"Are you chilled?"

"No, I'm not, truly. The tea helped" she shifted awkwardly again, "Speaking of the tea, any chance I can make it to the outhouse?" her face blushed ever so slightly.

"Not hardly" he told her, "Unless you want to get lost on the way or freeze out there"

"I guess I could take the chance"

"Not after I worked so hard to save you" His eyes twinkled, "Is the baby lying in an uncomfortable position for ye, lass?"

"No" she shook her head, solemnly and then paused, "Yes, unfortunately"

He laughed outright then, "I'll show you. I'm sorry I should have before"

"No" she blushed more, "It's not quite proper for us to talk about"

He smiled at her, "you are a nurse and I am a doctor. We have talked about bodily functions before and you don't blush or squirm. In fact, you respond to my questions in a way that would horrify your poor mama"

"True, but in regards to patients, not me" she said. "And it's my job"

"That makes all the difference" Neil teased.

"Oh, it does indeed" Adelaide chuckled.

"Your face is getting redder by the minute"

"I can only imagine" she said, shifting again, her hand on her belly. "Are you quite done teasing me?"

"Aye" he laughed, "Come on now"

* * *

She woke up the next morning to the smell of frying bacon and eggs and coffee. Her stomach rumbled- she was starving. She groaned and managed to roll over. Neil's bed smelled like him and she found that the scent in itself had become quite comforting to her. She had slept well for the first time in ages.

She hoisted herself out of bed, as she looked around the room. It was undeniably masculine. For the size of the cabin, it was a good size room. The bed, nightstand and dresser were the pieces of furniture that lined the room. Adelaide looked at the nightstand and smiled as she fingered the medical books on top of it. That was exactly her idea of nighttime reading.

Not wanting to snoop, Adelaide reached for her dress, the floor creaking as she walked across the room...well, more like waddled across the room. She winced. She felt like a whale these days.

The baby kicked again as she changed out of the nightgown Neil had scrounged up from Margaret's things and back into her clothes. She pulled her hair up into a ponytail, trying to make it more presentable without brushing it through, but it was a mess. She quickly made up Neil's bed when she heard a knock on the door.

"Come on in"

"Morning, Addie"

She smiled at him, "Good morning, Neil"

He tossed her a hairbrush, her catching it easily. "Thought you might want this. It was Margaret's too"

"Thank you. That's very thoughtful" Adelaide said. "I'll be down in a few minutes"

"Take your time"

He left her alone and she took down her hair, brushed it out and decided to leave it half down.

Neil was humming in the kitchen when Adelaide came down the stairs- not so gracefully.

He turned to her, "You should leave your hair down more often"

"That wouldn't be proper or practical" she told him.

"Aye, I know. I'm just sayin that it is pretty down"

"You've said that before"

"And I mean it each time" Neil told her. He studied her, "How's the wee one?"

"Kicking up a storm" she said, her hand on her belly.

"I think you have grown bigger overnight"

She went over and poked him teasingly, "You were just being so sweet"

He chuckled, "I had to make up for it"

"Clearly" she laughed, "Let me take over making breakfast"

"Nah" he shook his head, "You can go sit over there with your feet up"

"Neil"

"Adelaide" he answered, evenly. "I'm almost done and I don't mind"

"Alright, if you insist" she said as she sat at the table and put her feet up.

"Good girl" he smiled at her. "Plus, knowing your cooking, you would ruin my efforts"

"I hardly think it is as bad as that" Adelaide grinned.

"Close to it" Neil winked at her. "I remember the first time you cooked for me in my cabin"

Adelaide laughed, "Who could forget that? I was trying to be nice"

"Not to mention _you_ were hungry" he chuckled at her.

"I was so hungry" Adelaide giggled, "And the mission seemed so far away and we were right in the middle of dissecting those articles"

"You and your cravings"

"You didn't mind at the time I suggested it"

"But then you almost burned down my cabin"

"That is a bit of an exaggeration, Doctor MacNeill" She looked sheepish, "It _has_ to be the stove. I cooked for you in Asheville, remember?"

"I do" Neil said, "and you did very well. I'm sure it's just the stove"

"You know you get a distinct look about you when you are humoring me" Adelaide titled her head with a smile.

"Do I?" Neil asked, innocently.

"You do, which is funny, because you usually don't humor people"

"You are an exception on account of the babe and all" he told her.

"Hum" Adelaide grinned at him, her eyes sparkling at clearly catching him off guard. Neil had the rough exterior of a mountain man at times, but inside, he was quite a softie and Adelaide brought that out of him.

"Don't look at me like that" Neil grunted, "By the way, Adelaide, Merry Christmas"

She paused, immediately distracted, "It is Christmas! I completely forgot! Merry Christmas! How's the snow?"

"Still falling, would ye believe it?" Neil shook his head, "We haven't had a storm this bad in years"

"I have exceptional timing"

"That you do" he put the eggs and bacon on two plates, "As long as the babe of yours doesn't have exceptional timing, I think we are good"

She patted, "Hear that, little one? Doctor MacNeill has spoken and he is the boss"

"Don't let your mama fool you. She only lets me think I'm the boss" He placed the plates on the table and leaned over to put his hand on her belly, the baby kicking in response right away to his touch. Adelaide's eyes widened in surprise.

"The baby likes you already, Neil"

"Of course, he does" he sat across from her. "Let's eat"

She bowed her head and quickly prayed before taking a bite, "This is delicious. Thank you"

"You're welcome"

Adelaide was amazed at how comfortable it felt to be here with Neil. It wasn't awkward at all- probably a testimony to their strong working relationship and their deep friendship.

"Did you sleep well?" he asked, his eyes on her.

"Actually, yes" Adelaide said, taking another bite. "for the first time in ages"

He smiled at her, "I'm glad, Addie" He took a bite of his food and handed her the coffee. "I wasn't aware that you weren't sleeping well"

"That's quite normal at this stage of my pregnancy" she commented.

"True" Neil nodded, "Just restless?"

"Partly" she said, vaguely, "I have a question for you"

"Sure"

"Since we are stuck here forever, could you humor me more and help me practice stitching?"

"Hum" Neil twirled his fork, "you could help me practice my stitching"

"True" Adelaide said and Neil's eyebrows rose, "For stitching wounds" she clarified, "but I want to practice more delicate techniques for surgery. There is deftness to it that I can't get and you have it, even though your hands are huge"

"There is an art to it" Neil commented, putting his fork down, his full attention on her. "Have you been trying to figure it out on your own using Simon's medical books?"

She had the good sense to look sheepish, "Maybe"

He pointed his finger at her, "I knew it"

"Help me, please?"

"Why?" he asked.

"Well, what if you are away and there is an emergency?" Adelaide pointed out.

"You'll maintain care until I arrive" Neil told her, his voice turning stern, "not play hero"

"Of course, that goes without saying" she frowned at him.

"I'm serious about that Adelaide" he told her. "Very serious. I gave you a pass before with Ruth Tatum..."

"Wait a minute" Adelaide put down her fork now too. "What was I suppose to do?"

"You could have tried a number of things" he told her. "Including forceps"

She shuddered, "I don't think there was enough time"

"I know" Neil nodded, "I just want to make sure that you know my expectations for patient treatment in my absence"

"You have made them quite clear. I promise I won't use those skills. I just want to have them" Adelaide said, picking back up her fork and taking another bite and he did the same, "Come on, Doctor MacNeill, it would be a fun way to pass the time while we are snowed in"

"Only you" He laughed, in wonder.

"Is that a yes?"

"Sure, later today though"

She grinned, "Perfect"

They talked as they ate and afterwards, Adelaide insisted on cleaning up and Neil disappeared into the lab.

He came out a few minutes later as Adelaide was drying the last dish. He cleared his throat and she turned and stilled at the sight of what he was holding- a beautifully made cradle.

"Merry Christmas, Adelaide"

"Neil" Adelaide's voice was hoarse with emotion as she looked at the cradle. "Is this for me?"

"Technically it's for the babe, but aye" he said. "I made it myself"

Adelaide went over to examine the cradle that Neil sat down. "It's lovely. I can't believe you made this for us" she said, in wonder.

"The babe needs a cradle until it learns to roll- the crib ye got is way too big- babes like to be snug or at least that's what all the womanfolk tell me"

"It's perfect. Thank you" She reached out and touched his hand. "When did you have time to do this?"

"Here and there" Neil said, "I've been working on it since you said you were staying in the Cove"

"I'm grateful"

"I'm grateful to you, lass" he responded, "for everything you have done for me as my nurse but also as my friend"

"I haven't realized that I've done anything as your friend" she said, still fingering the cradle.

"Just being you, you've done more than you will ever know" he told her, his voice low.

She nodded and went over to give him a hug. "It's perfect. Thank you again"

"You're welcome" he pulled away. "I also have something for you"

"Do you?"

"I do" He handed her a small package. She took it, curiously.

"Unwrap it" Neil prompted.

She unwrapped it carefully.

"Don't be so timid. You can tear the paper" he teased. "I know you want to"

"Maybe" she said as she tore through the paper, to examine the journal that it uncovered. "A journal"

"You need some way to gather your thoughts, Adelaide" Neil said, "And maybe record the memories you have of Simon"

"That's so thoughtful" Adelaide looked up at him. "I love to write"

"Simon may have mentioned that before" he told her.

"Did he?"

He nodded. "You need to preserve those good memories and keep them close to you" he told her.

"And this is a fine way to do that" she smiled. "And write of my adventures staying in the Cove" she added. "Thank you"

He took her elbow, "Let's sit. You should be resting"

"Okay" Adelaide said, still holding the journal.

They sat on the couch next to each other. She looked at the empty pages of the journal, waiting to be filled.

"The memories are becoming fuzzier" she said, softly.

"Aye" Neil nodded. "And they will become even more so as time goes on"

Her heart ached, "I don't want to forget one thing about him"

"I know, lass" his voice was quiet as he reached to pat her hand, "but you have the babe growing inside of you to always remember him by"

"It's a blessing" she nodded, "Thank you again for this and for the cradle"

"You should be all ready for the babe to come...after the snow clears, of course"

"Of course" she said, but he didn't miss her anxious look.

"Hum" he responded, "as we are to be stuck here for a while, you might as well tell me what that look was about"

"I suppose I should" she said. "Don't think I'm ridiculous"

"No" Neil shook his head, "If you were truly concerned about something, I would never find you ridiculous. We are friends, right?"

She nodded.

"And friends tell each other things"

"They do" She fiddled with the ends of her hair, "I'm having dreams"

"Dreams?"

"Yes" she said, looking at him, "about Ruth Tatum's delivery mixed with my own. I've been having them since it happened"

"For so long?" Neil was aghast. "Why didn't you say something to me?"

"So you could tell me how irrational it was?" she asked, tilting her head, challenging him.

"Adelaide, you can't help what you dream" he told her, "you can only help what you think. Are you nervous about your delivery?" he asked.

"Terribly so" she admitted, "I'm completely anxious when I think about it"

"It's because you know everything that could go wrong" he said, gently, "but you have to remember that usually everything goes smoothly"

Her lip trembled, "The things I saw, Neil...if my parents knew, they would have forbid me to work there. They would have never suggested it in the first place. I didn't tell them of course- I held inside, but it was awful"

"It doesn't have to be that scary process that you assisted in, Adelaide" he told her, frankly.

"I don't know any different" she told him, honestly. "And my mother will be there and..." she sighed, "she adds stress sometimes"

"Alice will be there as your midwife" Neil told her. "She will keep everyone in line"

"I just wish that I had Simon" she told him. "His presence was so calming for me and he knew just the right way to reassure my fears and soothe my anxiety"

"Maybe you can ask Opal" Neil suggested. "She's a friend and she often midwifes as well. That way you have two people you trust there to keep you calm"

"That's a good idea" she said.

"Adelaide" Neil looked at her, evenly, "why are you so worked up about it? What did you see?"

"I saw a lot, Neil" she told him. "I don't know what was worse-the woman who had money to be sedated or the woman who didn't...and then the complications" she shuddered. "And there were a few women who came in completely healthy and never left" she swallowed hard, "I'm scared I'm going to die"

"Adelaide" Neil's voice was kind, "you can't think like that. If you go into it afraid, you'll never get through it. The women here will tell you that you have to accept the process as what you were made to do"

"There is a lot of shame in childbirth back home" she told him, honestly.

"Like sex?"

She nodded, "Yes, similar" she stared at her hands, "Woman aren't valued at all. You should see how the doctors treated them. It was one thing that stood out about Simon...and some of his friends. They were kind. Some of the other doctors I worked for were just mean"

"I know" he sighed, "I would like to tell you that woman are valued more in the cove, but it's not the case at all. It's just different evils we have to fight"

She looked up at him, evenly, "I know you don't believe in woman's rights- that woman should be on equal footing as men"

"Not quite" he admitted, easily, "when it comes to careers or even marriage" He paused at her look, "now don't get huffy, lass" Neil told her, "What I do believe is in the value of all life, especially the women who sacrifice so much to bring children into this world"

"I know you do" she said, relaxing, "I admire that about you. It's why I'm here" She paused, twisting her hands, "I really don't want to go through this" she said, her voice soft.

He reached to pat her hand, "I know, but I'll be at the mission while you are laboring"

"Really?" she asked, surprised.

He nodded, "the minute I get word, I'll come and wait in case you need me"

"What if there is an emergency?" she asked, "I know that's a promise you can't keep"

"We just have to hope there isn't" he said, "but I want to be close by. It would make me feel better as well"

She frowned, "Are you worried?"

He paused, "No" he shifted, "You are healthy and should be fine, but you are my friend, Adelaide and I care for you. They wouldn't let me come in with Margaret and I've always wondered if..." he stopped himself.

"What is it?" she asked. When he remained silent, Adelaide continued, "Friends tell each other things, right?"

Neil chuckled, "Aye, lass, they do" he took a breath, "I always thought that maybe I could have saved her"

Adelaide shut her eyes, pained. "Oh, Neil"

They sat for a few moments, them both trying to contain their emotions, when Adelaide spoke, "Who was there with Margaret?"

"Granny came"

"Alice didn't?" she asked.

"Alice and Margaret were estranged for a bit"

Adelaide stilled, "Miss Alice was estranged from Margaret when she died?"

"Unfortunately" Neil sighed, "It haunts her"

"I'm sure" Adelaide thought for a few moments, "Miss Alice is so gentle" she commented.

"She has another side to her" Neil countered.

"We all do"

"Aye" he nodded.

"What was the rift over?" She paused, "That's none of my business"

"No" Neil sighed, "Margaret was angry that Alice followed us here and how taken Alice became with the people here"

Adelaide looked down at her hands, "That's awful"

"It is" Neil said, looking down as well.

"What caused her death?"

Neil looked up and Adelaide met his eyes, "I never got a straight story from Granny"

"What do you suspect?"

"That she hemorrhaged" he swallowed hard.

"Oh, good Lord" Adelaide's heart twisted for him. "And the baby?"

"A bonny wee lass" Neil took a breath, "Died a day later"

"The baby lived for a day?" she looked at him in surprise.

"Yes" he nodded, "the babe was the spittin image of her mama too"

"You never told me that"

His throat felt dry, "I named her"

"Did you?" she asked, softly.

"Margaret had suggested a name when we were talking about the babe"

"What was her name?"

"Rose"

"That's lovely" tears filled her eyes, "was she just too premature?"

"Aye" Neil nodded, "A fighter though to live a day"

"I'm so sorry, Neil" her voice cracked.

"Me too" he searched her, "Am I scaring you?"

"It's not anything I haven't seen"

He nodded.

Adelaide bit her lip, "Granny has hinted that she wants to attend my birthing in case I need her"

He looked at her sharply, "What did you say?"

"Nothing" Adelaide shrugged, "she hasn't come right out and demanded it"

"You are an outsider still" Neil murmured.

"Yes"

"Granny doesn't attend many more birthing since Alice has come to the cove. She or Opal handle it"

Adelaide nodded. "Will I be insulting her if I just don't tell her that I'm in labor?"

He shook his head, "No, I don't think so, maybe that you would allow me to treat you before sending for her, but that is becoming more common all the same"

"So, you will be there?"

"Yes, I don't want anything to happen to you and me not be there" he told her, continuing to let his guard down with her. "I would never forgive myself if you had an emergency and I wasn't there for you" he paused, "Childbirth isn't something I take lightly...not anymore"

"I'd feel better knowing you were close by as well" Adelaide said, honestly, looking down at her belly.

"Addie, look at me for a minute"

Adelaide looked up. "What is it?"

"Supposing there is a situation with you, I need to know that you will trust my judgment. You'll be no position to make a decision"

"Of course, I trust your judgment" she said, "besides Simon's, your judgment and skill is the one I trust the most"

"Good" he responded, "Please don't fight me on treatment, not in the middle of an emergency"

"I'll try"

"Is that the best you can give me?"

She nodded, "I trust you, Neil, but I tend to be a little...um" she searched for the word. "I'm not the calmest person when it comes to letting other people doctor me"

"What can I do to make sure that you are calm if you need treatment?" he asked.

"Could you make sure that if anything happens and I'm scared and panicking that you talk me through whatever is happening? I need to know what exactly is going on and what you are doing"

"Aye, I can do that" he studied her, "You still look frightened"

She nodded.

He scooted closer to her and reached to put his arm around her shoulders. "Please don't fear. Where is that faith that you have? Isn't now the time to rely on it?"

She smiled. "It's still here. It just gets muddled sometimes when I become anxious"

"I know" his voice was low, "but I will do everything in my power to keep you and the babe safe. I promise you that, Adelaide"

"I know you will" she dropped her head on his shoulder, them sitting like that in silence for a few minutes, propriety the last thing on their mind at the moment.

* * *

"No, not quite" Neil said, patiently, "Here" he adjusted her hands and walked her through the motions, standing beside her. "Try yourself"

Adelaide's brow furrowed in concentration as she worked through the stitches, "No, that's not right" she stilled her hands and then adjusted her hand motion, then stilled her hands again, unsure.

He smiled at her indignant expression. She was getting frustrated at herself, the perfectionist that she was. "Don't get frustrated"

"Show me again?"

"Okay" He reached and took her hands again, "It's not a precise science to it"

"Shouldn't medicine be about science?" Adelaide grunted.

He chuckled, "not when it comes to skill work like this. It took me a while to get the hang of it too and I was in medical school with some of the finest instructors"

"You are a fine instructor too" Adelaide countered as he scooted closer to her and moved her hands again, going through the motions.

It was then Adelaide realized how close they were. She turned her head towards him and at that moment, their chemistry was undeniable. Neil had opened up to her earlier and since them, her feelings towards him had become even more confusing. She didn't think it possible for them to have a moment together with her belly a clear presence in the room, but she couldn't deny it. Her stomach quivered and she froze, unsure. Neil cleared his throat as she tensed up.

"Why don't you try again?" he said, in his voice low, dropping her hands.

"Sure" Adelaide took a breath. She forced herself to concentrate.

"There you go" he said, quietly. "Good job"

"Thank you" she continued the technique. She paused, "Are you sure this is alright?" For a moment, he sensed her vulnerability with him. He wagered she was talking more than just her stitching technique. He felt the charged moment between them as well, but he didn't want to spook her.

"Aye, I'm sure"

"Very good"

"Is it?" he questioned, lightly.

She looked over at him. "You tell me"

He searched her face and then decided to give her an out. "The technique is perfect, lass. Practice a few more stitches and them I'm ordering a nap for the mama to be"

She sighed, "Bossy, bossy" she paused, "but I am tired"

He nodded.

* * *

The next morning, the snow had finally stopped falling, the worst storm they had in years. Adelaide was cooking up eggs when they heard a call from the yard,

"United States Mail"

Adelaide looked to Neil, panic on her face. "How in the world did he get through?"

"Neither rain nor snow" Neil muttered. "Come on in, Ben" he called.

Ben shook the snow off his boots. "Howdy, Doc. Got this package of the medicine ye were a lookin for"

"Come warm yourself, Ben, before headin out again" Neil said, taking the package from him.

Ben froze. "Miz Addie" his voice held his surprise.

"Mr. Pentland" Adelaide nodded, "I'm just making eggs here. Why don't I make you some too? And you look like you need some hot coffee"

"I'd be obliged" he eyed her, suspiciously as he took off his coat, scarf and mittens and sat by the fire. He had definitely caught them in quite the domestic scene...and truth be told, Miz Addie looked awfully comfortable in the Doc's cabin, her hair down, humming a tune while she was cooking. What's more, Adelaide knew how it looked as well.

Adelaide looked to Neil and he could tell her distress as she poured the coffee. Neil took the mug from her.

He cleared his throat as he handed Ben the coffee. "Adelaide got stuck out in this storm two days ago" he explained.

Ben's eyes were wide. "Ye were out in this here storm, Miz Addie?"

"Doc rescued me" Adelaide said, "before I got completely lost...and we were closer to his place than the mission. I don't think we would have made it to the mission"

"We wouldn't have" Neil said, adamantly.

"And we have been stuck here ever since" Adelaide offered, "and with this" she patted her belly, "we have to be extra careful"

"Ye be right" Ben frowned, "Ye shouldn't try to make it out in this snow. The drifts be real deep...not fitting for any woman, not to mention in ye condition"

"She isn't going anywhere" Neil said, firmly, "until it is safe to do so"

"The folks here ain't gonna like this though" he told them frankly. "It looks real bad for ye to be here with the Doc alone. They are gonna have lots to say about this one, that's for sure, Doc"

Adelaide glanced at Neil, her coloring heightening.

"Ben" Neil's voice held a warning, "Don't scare Miz Addie right now" he admonished.

"Of course" Ben said, gruffly, "My apologies, ma'am"

Adelaide nodded.

Ben shared a meal with them before insisting that he must continue on his journey. When he was gone, Adelaide looked to Neil as she was doing the dishes.

"Neil?"

He frowned, "It was rotten luck, lass" he told her, his voice low.

She sighed as she gently placed the last dried plate on the shelf. "I should go home. If Ben can make it through..."

"Absolutely not" Neil's voice was harsh. "I will not have you risking your health or that of your child"

"But this is going to cause so much trouble for you" Adelaide retorted, "I saw the way he looked at me- he was making assumptions...about me and you. I didn't think it was possible with how grossly pregnant I am, but apparently, you are right, that doesn't matter"

"Anybody who knows you knows..."

"They accused Christy of being with John Spencer" Adelaide's face was pale, "before she married David"

"Yes"

"And we know how innocent she is" Adelaide said, "and John is a child. You're a man and I've been married before, so..."

"But when they found out she was with me, the issue settled" he pointed out.

"Yes, your midnight meeting in the moonlight...the epitome of a romantic moment" Adelaide murmured. "maybe the issue shouldn't have been resolved so easily, then she would be here with you and I would be..."

"Dead?"

They fell silent, the tension high between them before Adelaide told him, resolutely, "I can make it home. I'm strong and if it causes me to go into labor, then good"

"I said, no, Adelaide" Neil's voice rose. "You wouldn't make it twenty feet. There are high drifts out there and the babe weighs you down. You aren't as strong as Ben. Don't be foolish. You'll end up having the babe in the snow or worse"

She turned to him, "I can make decisions for myself" The look she gave him made him sure she would attempt such a foolish venture.

"The damage is already done, woman" Neil yelled, frustrated. "You will wait until it is safe. I'll restrain you here if I have to"

"I'd like to see you try"

"Oh, I'd try alright" Neil retorted, "Do you doubt me?"

She stared at him a moment before retreating into the lab without another word, needing space.

Neil came in a few minutes later and sat on the bed next to her. "I'm sorry I yelled, lass"

"No, it was well deserved" she murmured, wiping her tears with the back of her hand. "I was panicking and it was clouding my judgment. Of course, I'll wait until you feel it is safe"

"Good" he nodded, "Why were you panicking?"

She stared at her hands, "I would never...even without the baby..." her voice cracked. "I never have been accused of being that way. I've never gotten _that _look before."

"There was no look"

"Neil" Adelaide smiled through her tears, "you are a horrid liar"

"I suppose I am" he admitted, sheepishly.

Adelaide wiped her tears, "but you are a good friend"

"I know you aren't that way" Neil soothed. "and they don't truly believe that, but you need to expect repercussions. It is naïve for you not to"

She sighed, "Yes, I know. What repercussions will there be?"

"They will put pressure on both of us"

"Pressure?"

"Most likely to marry" Neil said, seriously.

"I thought you were joking" Adelaide turned to him.

"No, lass, I said it jokingly so you wouldn't panic"

She dropped her head in her hands, "I'm sorry. I was so foolish" she cried.

"Hush now. Don't carry on so" Neil put his arm around her shoulders, pulling her into him.

"How can you be so calm about this?"

"Marrying you, Adelaide, wouldn't be the worst thing in the world- far from it"

Somehow his sweet words made her feel even more horrid. "You shouldn't be this sweet to me"

"Yes, I should" He kissed her head. "Any man would be lucky to have you as his wife"

"But not being forced into it" She sniffled. "No man wants to be trapped"

"Nobody is being trapped here" Neil assured her. "It's going to be just fine, Adelaide. I promise. You focus on the end of your pregnancy and your baby. I'll take care of the rest"

And in spite of the anxiety she felt, she allowed his words to comfort her. She trusted him, she just didn't know how it would all turn out.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **Strong T-rating for medical content

**Different Path Chapter 2:**

They were stranded two more days until the snow cleared up enough for Neil to think Adelaide could safely travel home given her condition. Unfortunately for them, between Ben Pentland getting through and Ruby Mae's incessant gossiping, the whole Cove knew about it. Neil was getting flack for it and for as much as he insisted that nothing happened, the Cove also saw how he looked at Adelaide. Uncle Bogg pronounced that it was a right fine idea for them to marry anyway, as a way of restoring Miz Addie's good name, but also to take care of the Doc being a widower for so long.

"You'll just come home" Julia said, "I don't see what the issue is"

"I don't want to come home" Adelaide said, "I'm doing something good here and Neil needs me"

"Nobody would know that you spent the night with Doctor MacNeill" William added, "you would still have prospects in Asheville"

"With this?" Adelaide patted her belly. She was now quite swollen with child, the babe being incredibly stubborn about entering the world. "I'm a widow with money. They will just want to marry me for Simon's money, not for me or this little one."

"You'll have to marry when you return to Asheville" Julia said, "after the appropriate mourning period. You can't be a widow forever. You need to marry while you are still young"

At her mother's words, even though she knew them to be true, she felt an enormous burden. "Anything I do now, I've lost my independence" she responded, forlorn.

David cleared his throat, "Even if Adelaide does leave, Doc will get flack for not doing right by her. The people of the Cove take that seriously"

"Do you really think they will stop letting Doctor MacNeill treat them?" William asked, quietly.

"I do" David said, "they have stopped for less. It took years for Doctor MacNeill to earn the trust of these people. Ask Alice when she gets back"

Adelaide felt sick. "I think I need to go lay down" she stood suddenly, but then swayed and pitched forward, hitting her stomach hard against the corner of the kitchen table, before falling to the ground.

She was only out for a few minutes, her opening her eyes to see her sister's concerned face.

"Adelaide" Christy put a washcloth on her forehead. "Maybe we should call Neil. Mother and Father are in the kitchen arguing whether they should or not"

She struggled to sit up. "No, I'm fine" she stood. "Alice will be back in a few hours. Go tell them not to" She winced as her hand went to her stomach. "Ouch" she gasped.

"What is it?" Christy reached for her hand.

"I think it is a contraction"

"Now, they really will insist"

"Tell them no" Adelaide said, her eyes wide. She stood up, another contraction hitting. "Oh, this is not good"

"Mother" Christy called and Julia came rushing in.

"What is it?"

"Adelaide is having contractions" she told her.

"Traitor, sissy" Addie said, "Mother, I'm fine. Alice will be home in a few hours"

"We are calling Doctor MacNeill" she said, with finality. "He can decide whether or not you need medical care at the moment"

Adelaide turned to David, while William used the phone, "David, can you please go find Opal? Tell her I think I might be in labor and Alice is away for a few hours. Tell her we are sending for Neil, but I would be infinitely grateful to her if she comes"

He nodded, "I'll go right away. She'll want to come"

"David, wait" Adelaide said, quickly, "Ask them to keep that information quiet"

"I will"

She turned to Christy. "I don't want Granny to get offended I'm not calling her with Alice away. She had been giving me loads of advice on the birthing"

She nodded. "That makes sense"

"I hope Alice gets home and soon" she sighed, clutching her belly.

* * *

She took to her room, walking around- the contractions about 5 minutes apart.

Opal knocked on her door, "I came as soon as I heard. Doc is downstairs- he is on his way up. He told me to give ye a warnin"

"He's sweet"

"I wouldn't characterize the Doc as sweet, but it was right thoughtful of him to prepare ye" she said, amused.

"Oh, he's sweet underneath all that gruffness" Adelaide said, "just don't tell him I said so"

"I reckon I won't" she laughed.

"Thank you so much for coming Opal" she responded. She twisted her ponytail.

"I'm glad to. How close be your pains?" she asked.

"Five minutes apart" she said. "I didn't realize it would hurt this badly. I hit my stomach when I passed out earlier- you don't think that is making it worse, do you?"

"I'm sure not" Opal began to help her walk around the room. "The baby is well cushioned in your womb. Walking is good to keep things goin though" she told her as she put her arm around her waist, guiding her around the room.

"Opal, could you please stay until Miss Alice gets here? I can't take Neil and my mother without you. Neil makes me so nervous at times and my mother...well" she shook her head, wearily, "we tend to not see eye to eye a lot of times. She's my mother and I love her, but this could be a disaster...her helping me to labor"

"Surely, I can stay" Opal smiled, "I can be here through the babe, if ye like. Tom said he would watch out for the young'uns"

"Thank you- you are such a good friend" Adelaide said, gratefully.

There was a knock on the door. "Adelaide" Neil came in the room, "How are ye doin, lass?"

"I'm fine" Adelaide said, "I really don't know why they called you" she grumbled. "I'm just having contractions. Alice will be back soon"

"I wanted to be here anyway, remember?" Neil asked, calmly.

"I do" she said, "I need you to keep my mother away from me. I will say something that will ruin our relationship forever"

"Hum, let's not fret about that right now" Neil looked briefly at Opal and then back at Adelaide, "I heard you fainted"

"Oh for God's sake" Adelaide let out her breath "Who told you that?"

"Your parents" Neil countered, "Did you?"

"Only for a few minutes" she said, "They are being dramatic"

He looked at her sternly and she returned his gaze, evenly, "honestly, I just rose too quickly, Doctor MacNeill"

"Since when has that caused you to faint?" he asked.

"Since this babe has taken its sweet time in coming" she answered, her hand on her hip. "my parents are overprotective and it's completely unlike you to tolerate that"

"I happen to agree with the need, especially when I heard you also hit your stomach" Neil retorted. "If there is ever a reason to call me, it would be then and when it comes to you, I'd rather be cautious than not. Now, stop being annoyed at your parents and arguing with me and tell me how far apart your contractions are"

"About five minutes" she answered. "but I've had a few really close together"

"How close?"

"Maybe two minutes apart"

"How do they feel?" he asked.

"Are you asking if they hurt?" Adelaide squeaked.

Opal fought laughing, "Ye better duck, Doc. She has a look about her" she advised.

Neil rolled his eyes, "Adelaide, I'm not asking if they hurt, I'm asking how badly they hurt" he clarified.

"Oh, they hurt, Neil" she said, "There is this searing pressure with them too, it's quite miserable"

"That's normal, Miz Addie" Opal offered and she nodded.

"Are they lasting longer?" he inquired.

"Unfortunately" she said, forlorn.

"Cheer up, lass" Neil patted her shoulder, "The babe has to come out some time- sounds like today might be it" He put his bag on the bed. "Let's check you over now"

"No" Adelaide shook her head. "We can wait. Alice will be back soon"

"Actually, we don't know when she will return" Neil said, "she can take over when she returns"

She hesitated and he continued,

"Adelaide" he titled his head, "I'm your doctor and you promised me on several occasions that you would be cooperative if the time came for me to doctor you"

"I remember" she said, rubbing her belly. "I also told you that you may expect a little argument when that time did come"

"Naturally, woman" Neil chuckled, "Are ye done with that part of our deal?"

"I suppose" she sighed and Opal chuckled.

"I don't believe anybody talks back to the Doc like ye do" Opal said.

"The Doc tolerates me" Adelaide smiled at him.

"There is no stopping her until she gets it out of her, Opal" Neil replied, easily, "Now, I want to check the position of the baby and how far along you are. I don't want surprises and Alice is away. She'll probably be back in time, but until she is..." he paused, and looked at her evenly, "I don't want you pushin a babe out feet first, do you want to?"

"No, of course I don't" she responded, "And that's fine, but I don't have to like it"

"Good girl and I'm pretty sure you won't, but think of this way, by the time this is all said and done, you won't remember this part one bit" Neil reached out to grip her elbow and lead her to the bed.

"I highly doubt that is true" Adelaide grimaced as she got in bed.

"I told your father to keep your mother occupied for a few minutes" Neil said, quietly as he pulled the sheet over her. "I figured you want privacy for this"

"You know me well" she said, softly. "Thank you. Mother makes me nervous"

"I remember you mentioning that" He turned to Opal. "Christy is bringing towels and water. We are going to need it"

Christy knocked on the door and slipped in. "Towels and water" she said. "How are you doing sissy?"

Adelaide made a face at her sister and Christy laughed.

"How's mother?"

"Busy boiling water and preparing things for the baby" Christy answered, "Father made a whole list of suggestions but she is hankering to get back in here and check on you"

"I'm just about to look her over" Neil said.

"Maybe Christy shouldn't stay either" Adelaide looked at Neil. "She'll never want to have a baby after all of this" She winced as she moved the sheet and quickly turned to sit on the edge of the bed leaning over as the pain built, "Oh dear, this is a terrible one...Opal, please help"

"I'm here" Opal reached for her hand, "Breathe, Adelaide" She breathed with her, "There you go. You can't fight against it so much- the pain is going to be there" She squeezed her hand, "Ye be doin great" she encouraged as Adelaide continued to breathe.

She groaned, "This is not fair. None of this" she cried as the pain intensified.

"Addie, don't panic" Neil moved around to the side of the bed and put his hands on her head as she began to cry. "keep breathing. That's it" his voice was low. "There you go, better?"

She nodded and looked at up him- Opal had discreetly moved out of the way.

"It's not fair" Neil said, squeezing her shoulder, "but you can get through this and we'll meet Simon's child at the end of all of it. Focus on that"

"He didn't even know about the baby" She whimpered.

"Don't ye believe that he does know?" Neil asked, his voice tender as he rubbed her head.

"I suppose I do" she replied. "Thank you"

"You're welcome" He replied, easily. "Now let me examine you in between contractions" his voice took a professional tone as he reached for a few towels and laid them down before reaching back for her. "Let's lay you down. Heartbeat first and then we'll check your cervix" He looked to Christy, "Are ye okay staying, Christy?"

She nodded, "I'm married. I think I can handle it. Adelaide can't protect me from the ways of the world forever"

"You're right. I'm sorry. You should definitely stay" Addie murmured as Neil helped her lay down and move the sheet back. He washed his hands and moved to sit next to her on the bed, she moving over towards the middle to accommodate him.

He arranged the sheet so he could see her belly, but made sure that she was well covered otherwise, mindful of her modesty. He felt her belly.

"Your hands are cold, doctor" Adelaide teased, mildly.

"Are ye trying to distract me, Nurse Addie?" he looked over at her.

"Distract myself, maybe" she retorted.

"Where did you hit your stomach?" he asked and she moved her hand to show him.

"There is a definite red mark" he remarked.

"Is that a problem?"

"Probably not. The babe should be well protected, but let's make sure the wee one's heartbeat is as strong as it usually is" He reached for his stethoscope. He warmed it and then placed it on her belly, moving it around. "There we are" Neil listened for a bit and then unraveled his stethoscope laying it back on the bed, "Nice and strong, Adelaide. That's good"

"Good" She sighed, relieved.

He continued to feel, trying to assess the position. "I think this babe might be on the big side of things"

"What?" Adelaide's eyes grew wide as she tried to sit up.

"No, no, don't panic" Neil rushed to reassure her. "You'll be fine. Women have big babies all the time"

"For the record, I could have gone without knowing that piece of information" Adelaide said, frowning, "It's not twins, is it?" she asked, for the millionth time.

"No" Neil responded, patiently. "My answer still remains firm on that. Don't worry"

He adjusted her nightgown down and covered her belly again. He patted her arm, reassuringly, and rose off the bed. "Let's scoot you down to the end" he suggested, "that will be a bit easier for me to examine you"

"Okay"

He helped her get settled and moved the pillow for her. "Good?"

She nodded. "As good as I can be at the moment all things considering. Are you sure we have to?"

"I would be unprofessional not to. It's going to be over quickly" he told her, "I know this is unpleasant for you"

"Thank you for acknowledging that" she said, "so many doctors that I worked with were completely insensitive to how this felt"

He nodded, "Has your water broken?" He asked. "I forgot to ask"

"No"

He patted her leg and she moved it to the side for him. "When it does, you'll probably get some relief from the pressure you were describing" he told her. "Right, Opal?"

"That's right, Doc" Opal said.

"Opal, can you hold my hand?" Adelaide asked, her voice undeniably nervous.

"Sure, Miz Addie" Opal responded and she moved to sit next to Adelaide and reached for her hand as he moved the sheet up, trying to still give her privacy.

"Can you take a deep breath for me, Adelaide?" he asked, his voice calm and professional. "I can already tell you are not relaxing and I'm not doing anything yet. The more you relax the easier this is for both of us"

"I'm know" she said, "but you do know that nurses and doctors make the worst patients"

"I'm aware of that" Neil chuckled and she took a breath. "I think if I am ever ill, there is only one person I want to be my nurse"

"Miss Alice?" Adelaide asked, grimacing.

"Nah" he shook his head, "there's only one person that can handle my sorry self when I'm cranky and a bear and be so sweet and charming while bossing me around. Stop holding your breath. It tenses you up. Breathe again"

She took another breath.

"That's much better" he said, "Good"

"I know you don't mean me...I'm none of those things"

"You are all of those things...sweet, charming and bossy" he retorted evenly.

She winced, "That's two thirds of a compliment, Neil"

"It was meant to be a whole one" Neil told her, his voice light, "You are about 5 centimeters"

"That's real good, Miz Addie, for ye first babe" Opal told her, Addie clutching her hand.

"Yes, I know, I'm thankful. Neil?" she looked at him, her tone strained.

"I'm trying to determine the station. Give me another minute. You are doing great" he said as he pushed down her stomach, causing Adelaide to wince. "Sorry, I know, just one more minute" he murmured, his brow furrowed.

Adelaide turned to Christy, "still want to have a baby?" she asked, wryly.

"Not sure" she frowned.

"It gets better, sissy" she said, forlorn. "Much, much better..."

"Hush, lass, don't scare her" Neil admonished, lightly.

"Once ye hold your baby, ye forget until the next one" Opal said, "You'll see"

"Head down, but the babe is still high, Addie" he said, finishing up. "All done, lass"

"Good" she sighed, "Are you sure everything looks okay?"

He nodded. "You are doing well, Adelaide. No fretting" he said as he helped her move back. "Are you cold?"

"A little" she said and he pulled the cover from the end of the bed up.

"There you go, lass" he said.

"Thank you, Neil"

"You're welcome" he went over to the basin to wash his hands, in the methodical manner that he usually did. Adelaide watched him.

"Doctor MacNeill?" she asked as he was drying his hands.

"Aye?"

"That was ridiculously miserable" she told him, honestly.

"Adelaide" Christy laughed at her bluntness.

"I'm not saying it was his fault, I'm saying this whole process is just miserable" she looked at her and then back to Neil.

"I'm not offended, Christy" Neil told her. "I knew what she meant and I don't blame her a bit for feeling that way"

"But only Miz Addie would be so bold as to tell the Doc that" Opal laughed.

"My sister doesn't hold back at times" Christy retorted.

"Nah" Neil shook his head, "But I prefer it that way from her. Think of it this way Nurse Adde: now ye can be sympathetic to all the patients you need to assist in childbearing"

"No" Adelaide shook her head, adamantly, "I'm _never_ assisting with childbirth again now that I know how all this feels or if I am, I'm never ever checking before"

"Well, that's not very responsible of you, medically speaking" Neil told her, biting back his laughter.

"I don't care, but really I hate this whole process and I don't care if Alice is in Antarctica..."

"Antarctica?" Neil threw back his head and laughed.

"It's not funny" she glared at him.

"I'm just picturing it, lass" he told her, "Let's get you through this and then you can decide when your head isn't muddled by the pain"

"Oh my head is quite fine, thank you" she said, tossing it. "Oh, not again" she groaned as the pain began to intensify. Neil waited and through the contraction and then went over to reach out and squeeze her hand.

"Doing well, Adelaide" he told her. "I'll be downstairs. Holler if you need me"

"Thank you for coming and waiting here" she said, softly, "Sorry if I was a little argumentative"

"Nah" he responded, his voice amused, "I'm used to your ways, lass"

She grinned, "and that is why I am here and not in Asheville"

"Lucky me"

"Lucky you"

He left and Christy looked at her, suspiciously.

"What, sissy?" Adelaide asked, curiously.

"Adelaide" she inclined her head.

"Come, Miz Christy" Opal said, quickly. "Let's make sure we have what we need for the birthin. We'll be right back"

"She likes him" Christy whispered to Opal in the hallway. "She actually likes him"

"Don't ye be confusin her" Opal said, "She doesn't know that she does and this is not the time or place to get into it with her, while she be about ready to have that young'un"

Christy crossed her arms, "There are a whole host of problems with that"

"They may not have the choice but to marry if Miz Addie wants to stay in the cove. There are a whole bunch of people hoppin to see them wed, especially with Miz Addie stayin with the Doc durin the storm"

"Nothing would have happened" Christy said.

"I know that...and the whole Cove practically knows that..." Opal whispered, "It's the look of the matter and it be what we just saw, but this ain't the time for Miz Addie to concern herself about that. She need to think on her young'un and how to get through this birthin"

"You're right, of course, Opal" Christy murmured. "I won't say anything to either of them"

* * *

"Miss Alice" Adelaide groaned as the pain became hard to handle. Alice had returned two hours later and Adelaide had been laboring for another five. She was exhausted and the contractions now were not given her any relief. She was at the end of her tolerance and decided to take matters into her own hands. "Is Neil still here?"

"He is" Alice nodded, "he went out for a while, but returned a few minutes ago"

"Good" Adelaide said, "Could you maybe ask him to come in here for a minute? I have a question for him"

"Adelaide" Julia looked at her, her mouth pursed in disapproval.

"He's a doctor, mother" Adelaide glared at her, "You insisted on calling him. Now you have a problem with him coming in here?"

"No of course not" Julia said, quickly.

"It's a medical question" she clarified.

"Is it not something Miss Alice could help you with?"

"If it was" Adelaide huffed through another contraction, "Do you think I would be asking for him? I have some pride" she cried and took another breath, "and sense of propriety. Honestly, mother"

She let out her breath and breathed in again, "Oh my Lord" She groaned. "Miss Alice, please?" She let out her breath again.

"If you'd like" Alice said, when the contraction subsided. "I'll be back" She left Julia and Opal with Adelaide.

"Help me up, please" Adelaide tugged on Opal's arm and she helped her up.

"What are ye up to, Miz Addie?" She asked, suspiciously.

Adelaide went over to the drawer and pulled out Simon's medical bag, snapping it open and rummaging through it.

"I want morphine" she said.

Julia's eyes grew wide. "Adelaide Huddleston Napier, stop that right now. You aren't a doctor. You can't just decide to give yourself morphine"

"Oh, don't get me started with that one, mother" she glared as she pulled out a vial and syringe. "I know what I'm doing. I just have to ask Neil about how much to give"

Neil knocked on the door as another contraction hit and Adelaide bent over, the syringe in her hand.

"Adelaide, what are ye doing, woman?" he rushed over to her taking it away from her and she collapsed against him, crying out in pain. He put the syringe and the vial on the dresser.

"I got you" his arms went around her, stabilizing her, "lean against me"

"God, this hurts" she moaned, clutching his shirt. "I'm going to die. This has to be what it feels like"

"Shh, don't talk like that. Breathe. You are doing great"

She bit her lip hard from screaming out as the contraction built to unfathomable heights, tasting blood.

"Go ahead and scream" he whispered and she cried out against him. "Okay, I have you"

He continued to murmur comforting words to her until the pain subsided and then he pulled her away. "What were you doing with that?" he demanded, sternly. He picked it up and read the label. "_Morphine_, Adelaide? What the hell are ye thinking, woman?"

"I need to know the correct dosage" Adelaide's eyes were bright with pain. "I can give it to myself"

"Not without my permission" Neil told her, firmly, "You don't medicate yourself, Adelaide, that's dangerous and foolish"

"I'm a nurse, I know things"

"Aye, I'm aware of that" Neil let out a breath, "but you may not be in the best state of mind to use that knowledge"

"Please, I'm not strong enough for this. I need you to do like they do in Asheville and drug me into a stupor. I don't care the consequences. Look at me" Adelaide's voice turned equally stern with him and Neil's temper abated instantly, replaced by ill-concealed humor. "I'm done with this. I want morphine and you are going to give it to me, Neil MacNeill"

"Am I?" his eyes twinkled.

"Oh, yes, you are"

"Adelaide, honestly" Julia shook her head, wearily. "You are being so inappropriate"

"I don't care" Adelaide told her, "would it be too much to ask for you just to be supportive just this once? I want morphine, darn it."

"Adelaide!" Julia squeaked, "really"

"What?" Adelaide shrugged, "the doctor drugged you when you had me and Christy...so, don't look at me so disapprovingly- you would be tempted to curse too"

"Adelaide, that's enough" Neil told her, before her mother could respond further. "Let's all calm down" he stood up and bent down to pull her up and lead her back to bed. "Alice, how far along is she?"

"Last time I checked she was almost 9 and that was about 10 minutes ago"

"Adelaide" Neil put his hands on her shoulders, "You are almost there. The intensity is a good thing, lass. Let your body do what it was made to do"

She groaned, "But it's been forever...8 hours" she said, looking up at him, pathetically.

"Some woman labor days" Neil told her.

Her eyes widened, "Not helping!" she squeaked.

"At 9 centimeters, it shouldn't be much longer" he quickly reassured her.

"I need Simon to get through this last part" her lip trembled.

"Don't cry" Neil said, adamantly, "that's going to make you getting through the contractions worse"

"Do you think I want to cry?" She asked, her lip quivering more, "I want my husband and if I can't have him, morphine will do"

"Simon wouldn't have been here anyway" Julia tried to soothe, but it was entirely the wrong thing to say to Adelaide.

"If I wanted him, he would have been here. He wouldn't have left me to do this on my own. He wouldn't...Neil, tell her"

"Of course, if you needed him, he would have been here" he responded.

"It would have been highly improper" Julia huffed.

"Mother" Adelaide groaned, "It doesn't matter anyway because he isn't here. He'll never be here again" she began to sob. "I want Simon and since, I can't have him, I want morphine" She told them, swatting at her eyes, her voice turning adamant, "now, Doctor MacNeill. I want morphine _now._ Just tell me the dosage and I'll inject myself. I know how...or where are Simon's medical books? If you won't tell me, I'll look it up myself" She tried to stand, but Neil's hands were still on her shoulders, keeping her sitting on the bed. "But my head is all muddled and what if I calculate it wrong? I could die"

"Adelaide, honestly" Julia chided.

"Mother, you causing undue stress" Adelaide snapped at her and then another contraction seized her, which intensified her sobbing.

"Alice" Neil met her eyes and she nodded.

"Let's go make sure the water is boiling" Alice gently took Julia's elbow and led her out of the room, while Opal stayed and Neil bent down next to her.

"Adelaide, lass, you need to try to stop crying. It's not going to help you get through these contractions. Take a breath. That's a good girl. Now another. Good. One more" He encouraged her, but she cried out again the contraction peaking and then subsided. When it was over, Adelaide leaned against him. "Pull yourself together, Adelaide"

"I can't" she sobbed against him, wracking sobs.

"Yes you can" he told her, firmly, "stop crying now. You are going to hyperventilate and then we are going to have real problems when another contraction comes and given your lag time, that might be real soon"

She struggled to stop crying.

"Good girl" he praised, "crying is not going to help right now and neither is you insisting on what you know you shouldn't have"

"But they do it in Asheville" she said.

"You wanted to do it this way" Neil reminded her. "to prevent unnecessary complications"

"I changed my mind" she retorted, "Please"

"No, lass, I'm taking the bag downstairs in case you are tempted again" he told her. "You can do this. It's not much longer"

She sighed, composing herself. "It really hurts" she said, "do you know how much it hurts?"

"No, I can only imagine" Neil replied.

"What if you just cut it out already?" she asked. "If not morphine, let's do that, then. I think that is a splendid idea" She tried to stand again, but he held her down, "I can go sterilize your instruments for you. All you will have to do is the cutting. It shouldn't be too much of an imposition for you"

"They are already sterilized- hours ago. And this is a birthin, not a negotiation, woman" He shook his head, his eyes dancing.

"You find me funny" she pouted. "I'm in horrific amounts of pain and you find me funny"

"You would find yourself funny at this moment with the way you are talkin and the look you are giving me" he told her. "No cutting out the babe unless absolutely necessary, no administering morphine yourself" he told her sternly as he shook his finger at her, "ye will be a good lassie"

"Yes, Doctor MacNeill" Adelaide answered, contritely, much to Opal's everlasting amusement at the two of them.

He reached to squeeze her hand, stood and retrieved Simon's medical bag. "Not too much longer, Addie. I know you can do this"

She nodded, "Neil?"

He turned, "Aye?"

"Thank you for being here"

"You're welcome" he said with a smile. He left the room and Adelaide turned to Opal.

"Ye and the Doc are awfully close Miz Addie"

"He's a good friend" she murmured. "Opal, please don't tell anybody"

"The Cove already knows that he looks on ye differently than anybody else" Opal said.

"I'm not so sure about that" Adelaide said, quietly. "I know he must still care for Christy a great deal. He was heartbroken over her choosing David. That doesn't heal overnight...and" she paused, frowning, "I see the way he still looks at her"

"Ye need to get your eyes checked, Miz Addie" Opal told her, not mincing words.

"What does that mean?" she asked, but before Opal could answer, Adelaide was consumed with another contraction and they never revisited the topic, too distracted by the pain of childbirth.

* * *

Neil made his way back downstairs to where William was sitting.

"Is Addie alright?" he asked, looking up immediately.

"Your daughter is a handful" Neil shook his head.

William chuckled, "What could she possibly do when she is in the middle of having a baby?"

"Well, to begin with, she tried to give herself morphine" Neil sat down across from him.

William raised an eyebrow, "Does that surprise you?"

Neil frowned, "Now that you mention it, maybe it shouldn't" he looked to him, "you should have seen her"

"Did she try her best to bully you into it?"

"Aye" Neil chuckled at the memory.

"She has more sass than is good for her at times" William chuckled with him, "I can only imagine what Julia said"

"Oh, Mrs. Huddleston was quite indignant, which just fueled Adelaide on" Neil shook his head, "I don't know how you control them, no offense"

William laughed heartedly, "None taken. Did you get the situation under control?"

"Aye" Neil nodded, "Adelaide just need a moment to regroup without her mother's presence"

"Do you think it will be much longer?" William asked.

"No" Neil shook his head, "Shouldn't be"

They fell silent, before William spoke, "I never told you what caused Addie to faint before"

He looked over at him, "What was that?"

"Earlier" William said, quietly, "she was distressed"

"About what?" he asked, curiously.

"All the trouble she is causing for you"

Neil sighed, "She shouldn't take it so at heart"

"I know my daughter" William looked at him, evenly, "she cares about you more than she realizes. She would never want to do anything to hurt you, but she is afraid she is. David told her that he doesn't think it will blow over even if she does leave"

"I don't want her to leave" Neil said, quickly.

"Addie's impulsiveness put you in this situation" William said, quietly, "but you do have a choice. She is going to look to your lead on this...and believe me, she does need to be led as much as she fights it" he looked him squarely, "you do what you feel his right"

"And if that includes marrying Adelaide?"

"All, I want to say to that" William responded, "is that she doesn't need a pity marriage"

"It wouldn't be that" Neil said, quickly, "Far from it in fact"

"Good" William nodded, "But then again, Neil" he rose, "Adelaide doesn't need a marriage in name only which would be what she is destined for in Asheville"

"Do you think?"

"Unfortunately" William said, "and with the baby, it would be hard to marry for love either way. Love can come from a well made match"

"I doubt I would be considered a well made match" Neil said.

"To society maybe" William shrugged, "but in terms of being suited for my daughter, she admires and respects you and you clearly have a strong friendship with her. I believe love could come from that, but again, I'm not going to be the one to force you to marry anyone"

Neil nodded and William left him with much to ponder.

* * *

"What's wrong?" Adelaide cried, a while later. She had pushed a few times, but Alice suddenly stopped her, whispered frantically to Julia who rushed out of the room and Adelaide knew something must be terribly wrong.

"Thee needs to stay calm, Adelaide" Alice said, calmly.

"Why did you send Mother to get Neil?" Adelaide pressed, "Just tell me. You have to tell me"

"Take another breath"

"That's not helping" Adelaide said, "I know something is seriously wrong. I have to push"

"No, Adelaide, thee can't"

"But, you don't understand I have to"

"Hello, Adelaide" Neil stepped into the room.

"Neil, she won't tell me what's going on" she whimpered. "Please tell me"

"In a minute. We have to act fast. Alice" he beckoned to her. They talked in hushed tones while Neil quickly washed his hands.

"Neil, I _have_ to push" she cried. "It's too much"

"You have to try not to" he said, his tone soothing. "Let's see what's happening"

"But, this really hurts..."

"Adelaide" his voice was calm, "I need you to try your best to stay calm. I'll talk you through everything just like I promised, remember?" he said as he moved the sheet out of the way, not bothering with her modesty and at this point, Adelaide could care less.

"Yes" she let out her breath. "Okay"

He gently examined her. "I'm trying to figure out what position the baby's face is in"

"What's the problem?" she nearly panicked at his grave expression.

"Cord is wrapped around the neck and the babe's face is turned. We have to get the babe out now"

"What?" she groaned. "No, no, No! You said the baby was in a good position"

"You know there was no way to tell this" he told her, "the head is down, which is good, Adelaide"

"But the cord" Adelaide gasped, "Is it suffocating him? Neil, my God..."

"Stay calm. Let's get the child out" He reached for the forceps that were one the table next to the bed. "I'm going to use the forceps and help you get him out"

"NO!" Adelaide's eyes widened. "Oh, God, don't use those on me! Those should be outlawed"

"Adelaide, calm down" Julia reached for her hand to try to soothe her, but Adelaide tugged it away.

"Neil, you have to do a caesarean" her voice was panicked. "I'd rather have that"

"Don't argue with me, Adelaide, not now" his voice was strained, "the risk of infection is too great. This is the safest for both of you"

"I've seen the damage. Find another way, please. I can't handle this"

"At this point, Adelaide, it's your child's life"

"Are you sure?" she asked, shaking.

"Aye, with the babe face turned and the cord wrapped, we can't wait. I'm concerned the child won't survive the amount of time it will take you to deliver this baby without interventions. You have to trust my judgment, lass" he told her, firmly.

"I'm afraid" she whimpered. "This is all my fears coming to pass"

"I know, which is why I am making the decisions here. I'm going to take care of both of you" he responded.

"You've done this before, right?" she said, hesitating again.

"Yes"

"How many times?"

"Enough, woman" Neil retorted, firmly, "we are wasting valuable time, you arguing with me. Tell me to go ahead- I won't do this without you giving me permission"

She swallowed hard. "Of course"

"Good girl" There was a whirlwind of activity, Neil's stalwart demeanor and quiet reassurance as he talked her through everything, prevented her from drowning her panic, until finally she heard the cry of her baby.

Alice took the baby from him, quickly.

"Neil?" her voice was weak.

"Everything is fine, lass" Neil said.

"I don't feel good" she told him, "it hurts and my head feels all funny"

"I know, you are losing a lot of blood" he said, quietly, "try to stay conscious" he quickly reached into his bag for the syringe and dosed out medication, injecting her leg with it. "_Adelaide_" his voice was strained.

"I want to hold my baby" she said, but the last thing she remembered was Alice showing her the baby before the world became dark.


	3. Chapter 3

**A Different Path: Chapter 3:**

Alice had convinced him to take a break from Adelaide's side to take time to check on the baby. Adelaide still hadn't woken up yet and with every passing moment, panic was beginning to take root. That moment when he thought she might hemorrhage and the moments after, he began to realize more fully how much Addie did mean to him- and how he never wanted to let her go.

Julia and William were talking in low tones, Julia holding the baby when he came into the room. Both looked undeniably worried.

"Has she woken yet?" they both rose.

"No" Neil shook his head. "She lost a lot of blood. We just have to wait and see. She should wake soon"

"Are you worried?" William asked, frankly.

"I'll feel much better when she wakes, that's for sure" Neil told him.

"Why do you think she hasn't woken up?" Julia asked, the anxiety written on her features.

"I'm not sure" Neil replied honestly, "It could be the blood loss or just sheer exhaustion from delivering the babe the way she did. Speaking of the wee lad, I want to check him over and weigh and measure him"

"Of course" Julia handed the baby to Neil.

"I'll take him into the other room" Neil adjusted the blanket around him. He smiled at the babe. "He's a good weight, I can tell already"

"Do you need help?" Julia asked.

"No, we'll be fine" Neil said, "I'll bring him back shortly"

Neil laid him on a blanket on the kitchen table and began to examine him, weighing and measuring and listening to his heartbeat and lungs, causing Simon to immediately protest- his wail loud.

"Ye are just like your mama, aren't ye?" Neil chuckled as he picked up the babe again, wrapping him in the blanket to rest him upright on his shoulder, patting his back, "but ye look like your Papa that's for sure"

The babe settled down against him and Neil put him back down, "Aye, just like Mama...needs a little time to protest and a wee bit of soothin before settling down...it's actually healthy for ye, lad" He continued to examine him, talking to him in low tones.

"Ten pounds, two ounces"

Julia stood at the doorway, "Ten pounds?" Her eyes were wide, reminding him very much of Adelaide. "Adelaide and Christy were both so tiny- six pounds each"

Neil chuckled, "It makes a difference, I'm sure. Your daughter is a fighter through and through"

"She is that" Julia gave him a small smile, but he could tell her worry for Adelaide was clouding her happiness. "How is the baby?"

"He is entirely healthy as you can tell from his strong pair of lungs" He wrapped the babe back up and then tenderly picked him up to hand him to Julia. "I'm going to go back to sit with Adelaide"

"Doctor MacNeill" Julia's voice was soft, "It's the middle of the night. You look exhausted"

Neil shrugged, "It's my job and I won't be able to sleep until she wakes up, regardless if I wanted to or not"

Julia reached out to touch his arm, "Thank you for taking such good care of my daughter"

"You're welcome"

* * *

Adelaide woke to the baby crying in the distance and Neil's head on her covers.

"Neil" she rubbed his shoulder gently, not having the energy to do more. "Where's the baby?"

His head rose quickly, "How are you feeling?"

She took stock, "Not good"

"Do you need more pain reliever?"

"Possibly" she replied. "I thought you said it wasn't that bad. This feels bad. Downright awful in fact"

"It's not as bad as it could have been considering the babe's position and how big he is and that we had to use forceps" Neil said, "but your recovery is surely going to be difficult for you"

Adelaide frowned, "Can you tell me what happened? My memories are fuzzy"

"Do you want me to give you the patient version or the nurse version of the events?" Neil asked, his eyes on her.

"The nurse version, most definitely" Adelaide said, "I won't become mortified, I promise. Don't hold back. I want to know everything"

Neil nodded and began to speak to her candidly about what happened and her recovery. Adelaide asked a few questions, the blush only rising slightly.

"I'm very sorry, Adelaide" he told her, sincerely, after they finished talking about it. "I feel terrible about it"

"No" she shook her head, "it's not your fault. Simon would have done the same thing even with me harassing him to do otherwise. All that matters is the baby is fine- you were completely right to deliver him the way you did"

"Aye, but still, you've given me quite the scare" Neil told her honestly, "For a moment, I thought..." he stopped, but Adelaide knew what he was going to say.

Adelaide studied him, "You said I bled a lot. Did you worry that I was hemorrhaging?"

Neil nodded, unable to speak at the moment, unusual for him.

Adelaide reached and slipped her hand in his. "I'm sorry I put you through that. I was selfish to ask you to be my doctor considering..."

"No" Neil shook his head, swiftly, "I wanted to provide your medical care and it is my job... I just...you are a good friend, Adelaide. It wouldn't simply be the lost of a patient, even though that in itself would have haunted me"

"I understand" she swallowed hard. "But I wasn't in danger, was I?"

He shook his head, "I don't think so, but you passed out which concerned me too"

"Probably a good thing considering how much you had to fix me up" Adelaide said, giving him a wry smile, "even my braveness would have been lacking at that moment"

"I doubt that" he squeezed her hand, "Do you want me to get you more pain reliever? And some food? We need to begin restoring your strength"

"What time is it?" Adelaide saw the dim light in the dark room, "It's nighttime, right?"

"4 am, I think, but I want you to eat anyway" he told her. They could continue to hear the baby fussing in the distance.

"May I see the baby first?" Adelaide said, "And nurse him? He's screaming. He needs me"

"Of course, lass. I'll get him for you" he rose.

"Him?" her face absolutely lit up at that pronouncement, "Do I have a son?"

"Ye do indeed" Neil smiled, "He's a fine lad, Adelaide. Looks like Simon" He leaned down, "Let me help you sit up so you are all ready for him." Adelaide winced as she realized exactly how sore she was. Neil was right- this was not going to be pleasant.

"There we go" he pushed her gently forward and placed some pillows behind her back, then eased her back again. "Does this feel alright?"

She bit her lip, "No"

"It's not going to be comfortable" he said, his hand on her shoulder, "but do you feel light headed sitting up?"

She thought about it, "No"

"Good, then I'll be right back"

Adelaide felt like it was an eternity until Neil came back- she was so excited to meet her son. Neil came back in, the baby not fussing any longer.

"Did he stop crying?"

"Aye" Neil grinned, "right when I picked him up. I knew I made a friend during the storm"

"I think you did" She grinned back and Neil put him in her arms. "Oh my, he's so precious. Look at his dark hair. Just like Simon"

"Or you" Neil pointed out.

"True, but he looks so much like Simon" she reached to unswaddle him a bit so she could see his hands, "His hands are so tiny. Look at them. They are so sweet. Have you ever seen sweeter hands than these?" She moved the blanket again, letting out his feet, "And these baby feet. Nothing is more precious than newborn baby's toes"

Neil smiled at her awe over the little life she gave birth to. "Ten wee fingers and ten wee toes, Adelaide, like most babies"

She looked up at him, to meet his twinkling eyes, "I'm being a bit silly, aren't I?"

"No" he chuckled, "You are being a mama and it is a fine thing to behold, lass"

She smiled at him before looking back down at the baby, "He's just perfect. Thank you, Neil, for saving him"

"He is perfect" Neil agreed, sitting on the bed next to her.

"He's healthy, yes?"

"Aye, I checked him over myself. It annoyed him to no end, much like I do his mama while I'm doctoring her" he confirmed.

She laughed, "Well, he has to inherit something from me"

"That is true" Neil acknowledged, "I'm sure he's inherited a lot from you"

"I hope he inherited more from his Daddy. Simon was an infinitely better person that I am"

"Simon was a good man, for sure, but don't sell yourself short either. The lad is lucky to have you"

"He's actually on the big side for a newborn" Adelaide said, looking up at him, "You were right. How big is he?"

Neil's eyes twinkled, "Don't get worked up about it"

Her eyes widened, "How big?"

"Ten pounds, two ounces" Neil said, "A strapping lad for sure"

"Oh, Lord, well" She paused and looked down at him, "I'd rather him be big than too tiny, right? Even if that does make my recovery harder..."

Neil chuckled, "That's a fine way of looking at it. What's the lad's name?"

"Hum" Adelaide still held the babe's hand as he opened his eyes to look at her. "What do you think little one?" She looked up at Neil, "His name is Simon"

"Of course, it is" Neil smiled, "After his Papa is a fine idea, Adelaide"

She nodded and then gave him an odd look.

"What is it?"

"I have a suggestion for a middle name" Adelaide said, softly, "but we are already in so much trouble with the others, I don't know if it will make it worse for us, but it is what I want"

"Okay" Neil said, slowly.

"I want to name Simon after you too. You saved my life, Neil, in more ways that you will ever know. I truly want Simon to carry your name as well. I think Simon would have wanted it to, but if you object of course, I won't"

"I'm honored, Adelaide" Neil said, reaching to smooth the baby's hair, "do what you want and don't worry about what the others say. I don't think it will make it worse"

"There we go" Adelaide looked down at the baby, "Simon Neil Napier, welcome to the world, sweet one"

* * *

The next morning, Neil came in to check on her. He consulted with Alice about her recovery, talking about her but not to her, much to her annoyance. "You know you can talk to me about it" she said, "instead of talking to Alice. I am a nurse and I do know what is going on...we just talked this over yesterday"

"Hush" Neil retorted, "I'll talk to you in a moment"

"You do know this habit of doctors is quite annoying" she told him. "I even worked in maternity hospital"

"I recall you mentioning that once or twice" Neil answered.

"I know more than I would ever want to know about childbearing and the aftermath and complications and all the particulars... even more than you do, I'm sure..."

"I hear you, Mrs. Napier" Neil said, his eyes twinkling, knowing she was trying to goad him into talking to her.

"Don't you generally leave post partum care to nurses?" she frowned at him.

"Not the patients I'm called to fix up as much as I had to fix you up" Neil said, bluntly, "And I'm not going to be the one who overlooks anything when it comes to you"

"Why is that?"

"Good nurses are so hard to come by" Neil retorted, dryly.

She rolled her eyes.

"Now settle down and let me finish talking to Alice. Drink more water" he commanded.

"Very well" she reached for her water and began to take sips. "But if you start talking about my bodily functions in front of me, I _will_ throw something at you"

"Just as long as it's not the babe, lassie, we'll be fine" Neil chuckled.

She laughed at him and while their frank conversation would usually cause a rise in her color, she remained pale, a fact that was well noted by the good doctor.

He continued to talk to Alice in low tones before going to sit next to her.

"Your color is poor" he remarked.

"I'm not surprised" Adelaide commented. "Are you?"

"No" he took her water and sat it on the table. "Alice told me that you are ate a good breakfast"

"I could have told you about what I had eaten" She frowned.

"Are we still talking about that?" Neil chuckled.

"Yes"

"Well, I'm not" Neil replied, "How's your pain?"

"I feel alright" she responded, "as long as I take the medicine you left and don't move"

"Let's see how you are healing" Neil said, helping her scoot down. "Just a quick look" he said, as she grimaced.

"I'm never having another baby again, that's how I'm healing" she said, adamantly. "This is barbaric"

Neil chuckled, "You must be feeling better" he commented.

"No, I feel horrid" Adelaide told him, honestly, "but I'm trying to be positive about it"

He quickly examined her, "Is this you being positive?"

"Um, yes" she replied, "and if you were me right now, this would be your positive too"

"Well, you are typically more positive by nature than me" Neil said. "I'm a realist through and through"

"No, Dr. MacNeill, you are just cranky" she retorted and Alice chuckled.

Adelaide looked at Alice, "I suppose Miss Alice is the genuinely positive person here"

"That she is" Neil helped her scoot back up, "I want you to get up and walk around some now" he told her. "But only when one of us is here and only for short amounts of time. Otherwise, I want you to stay in bed for a week"

She frowned, "That's a little excessive"

"I would rather you stay in for two, but I know you" he told her.

"I think I will leave thee to argue it out" Alice said, "Adelaide, would thee like some soup for lunch?"

She nodded, "That would be lovely, thank you, Miss Alice"

"Thee is welcome" she said, leaving the door open.

"What were you saying?"

"I want you to get out of bed for a bit"

She sighed at the thought of moving, "Neil, I'm not sure" she cringed.

"It will be fine" he assured her, his hand on her shoulder, "the more you can move now, the better you'll feel later"

"I know you are right" She swallowed, "I'll need help to do so"

"Sure, I'll help you" Neil replied, easily. "Come on, now" He bent down to help her sit up again and scoot to the edge of the bed.

She grimaced. "Okay"

"Go ahead and push yourself up" he said, patiently, "I know you feel weak and miserable, but we have to restore your strength"

"Okay" She managed to get off the bed and take a step before grabbing Neil's arms, "The world is spinning"

"How bad?"

"Quite"

"Are you going to faint?" he held her steady.

"I don't know" she admitted. "maybe"

"Okay" Neil gently eased her back on the bed and pushed her head forward, his hand steady on her back. "Let me know when it stops"

"I've never passed out so much in my life" Adelaide said, grimly. "What is happening to me?"

"Well, you haven't had a baby before, have you?" Neil retorted, "It doesn't make you weak. It's just how your body is dealing with the stress of carrying and delivering the babe. Don't be hard on yourself. Still feel woozy?"

"Yes" she said.

"Take your time then"

After a while, she lifted her head, "Okay"

"Take a sip" he told her, as he handed her the water. "Better?"

She nodded.

"Try again. Take it slowly"

She took a breath and stood again, her knees shaky.

He gripped her arms, steadying her. "Are you dizzy?" he asked.

"No, it's better"

"Good, here, hold my arm" She walked around the room twice, trying not to wince as she did.

"Okay, that's enough for now. You look exhausted" Neil said. "Back in bed"

He helped her back in bed and she rolled on her side and curled up as he put the sheet over her.

"All tucked in there, lass?" he asked, amused.

She sighed, "Yes"

"How do you feel?"

"Sore" she wrinkled up her nose.

"It will get better" Neil reached to smooth down her hair. "You need to rest"

At that moment, Simon began to fuss from his cradle.

"Does he need to feed?" Neil asked as he picked him up for her.

"I just fed him before you came in" Adelaide said, shaking her head. "Let me have him"

"No" Neil shook his head, "You rest" He unswaddled the blanket. "His diaper needs changing"

Adelaide groaned and attempted to scoot herself back up, wincing as she did.

"No, lay down" he insisted, "I can change his diaper"

"Call my mother" Adelaide said, "Or Miss Alice"

"Honestly, Adelaide" Neil chuckled, "I'm a doctor. Don't you think I can handle a diaper change?"

"Most doctors I know have no idea how to change a diaper" she said. "Most men I know have no idea how to change a diaper"

"Well, at times I have to be more than a doctor out here" He reached for a clean diaper and a wet cloth, "We don't need them, do we lad?"

"Neil" Adelaide protested, "he will probably mess on you, trust me"

He chuckled, "It certainly wouldn't be a wee one has done that to me" he turned to her sternly, "I said to stay lying down. You exerted yourself walking, and you can't sit up without wincing in pain. You need to rest, Addie, understood?"

She frowned, "You are quite the bully when doctoring"

"You appreciate it" Neil smiled at the baby as he began to change him on her bed.

"Not when I'm the patient" she watched him.

"Hush now. You are using up your energy being argumentative"

He made quick work of the task. He swaddled him back and put him back in his cradle, rocking him until he fell asleep. He then went to sit down next to Adelaide.

"You are really quite good with babies" Adelaide commented, "did you and Margaret want to have lots of children?"

"No" Neil shook his head, swiftly. "She was upset when she learned she was expecting. She felt trapped already and growing the baby made her feel more so"

"I can somewhat relate" Adelaide said, softly, "it's not easy, that's for certain. I felt trapped at times"

"I wasn't the most sympathetic to those feelings" Neil admitted.

"I'm sure you were more than you thought you were" she said, "you were to my feelings about it"

"No, I'm fairly certain I wasn't" Neil said, his voice low. "It's different- she blamed me for it and I reacted to that"

"Of course you did" Adelaide said, "that's understandable"

He nodded, "What about you and Simon?" he changed the subject, "Did Simon want a whole bushel of young'uns?"

"Oh yes" Adelaide chuckled, "Completely not accepted in our social circles but he wanted a large family- I think to make up for his family not being around any longer. Being the only child was tough on him, I think"

"What about you?" Neil asked, lightly.

"After this? I'm done having children" she said, adamantly.

He laughed, "Maybe I shouldn't ask you the morning after you have just gone through such a rough delivery"

"Perhaps" she laughed, "but...I don't know" she shrugged. "I can't imagine having another child with anybody but Simon, I can't imagine being married to anybody but Simon"

"You are still young though, don't dismiss it entirely"

She nodded, "I guess life is unexpected sometimes"

"That it is, lass" Neil replied, "That it is"

* * *

Adelaide moaned as she rather stiffly moved across the room to pick up the baby. It had been three days already- three days of nonstop care for the baby, even with her mother's and Alice's and Christy's help. She was sleep deprived and still in pain and her moods were all over the place, swinging for completely joyful to wanting to melt down in a puddle of tears. It was one of the moments when the baby was crying and she was trying to bounce him that she allowed her tears to fall too. A stab of pain again, which began to intensify as she moved and the tears increased. At this point, she felt like she would never recover again. And she missed Simon terribly, her grief seemingly stronger-with the arrival of his son, the loss felt fresh again.

A knock on the door interrupted her crying. She tried to wipe away her tears.

"Come in" she said, her voice shaky.

"Adelaide" Neil popped his head in. "I wanted to check on you. I just got back from Low Gap"

"How's the little boy?" she said, tears still falling and in spite of her best efforts, they were increasing now that Neil was watching her.

"Better. He'll pull through" he frowned and walked over to where she was standing and bouncing the baby. "What's wrong?"

"I don't feel good and he won't stop crying" she said.

"You are pushing yourself too much. I wanted you to stay in bed for a few more days. You can move around, but I want somebody in here with you when you do and I absolutely don't want you lifting the babe this much"

"I can't do that. I'm his mother" Adelaide said. "I have to take care of the baby. Don't you understand?" she began to cry harder as the baby refused to settle for her.

"Okay, hold on" he took the baby from her, him quieting down as Neil bounced and patted his back. "Has he been fed?"

"About a half hour ago"

"Good. I'll be back"

"What are you doing?"

"Giving the babe to your mother. There is a reason why she and your father are still here" Neil told her. "He'll be fine away from you"

"Neil, I have to take care of the baby" she said, her lip trembling.

"You have to take care of yourself too. Get back in bed, Adelaide" His voice was firm.

She knew that tone too well and she allowed him to help her back into bed and didn't argue further. He left her and she began to cry even harder, not being able to stop.

Neil was back in a few minutes, "Simon is fine with your mama. She's rocking him and he has settled right now. Hopefully she can get him to take a nap"

"Thank you"

He sat next to her, "How's your pain?"

"It hurts to move..."

He frowned, "That's why I want ye in bed" he told her.

"It actually hurts to not move, too" she admitted.

"When's the last time you took the medication I left?"

She shrugged. "I don't need it"

"Adelaide" Neil's voice was patient, "you obviously do still need it and there is no shame in that"

"It's been a few days. I shouldn't have to take anything more"

"Aye" Neil nodded, "It's _only_ been a few days. It could be a few weeks until you feel like yourself again, especially considering the complications of your delivery. If you insist on pushing yourself, you will make things worse, I guarantee and if I get called to come fix you up again, it won't be pleasant"

"Don't scold me"

"I'm not trying to scold you" Neil said, "I'm trying to help you"

"By scolding me?" she asked, her voice rising.

He fought the urge to roll his eyes, "Just listen to me"

"You don't understand. I'm all Simon has. I have to take care of him. The pain reliever makes me groggy. I have to be alert if Simon needs me" her tears flowed faster.

"Your mother and Alice and your sister are all here. Let them help"

"But he's my responsibility, not theirs" she began to sob and bury her head in her legs. "They'll never think I can handle this and they are right. I can't do this. It's all hopeless"

"Oh, Adelaide, lass" Neil pulled her into his arms and she leaned against him.

"I don't even know really why I'm crying" she sobbed. "I just feel completely overwhelmed and out of sorts"

"That's alright" his voice was low as he held her tightly in his arms, "Just get it out of you. You'll feel better once you have a good cry"

She continued to cry for a few more minutes. "I'm not usually like this"

"I know" he said as she pulled away, "Some women are weepy after they have the babe. It's normal"

"But I tend to be so level headed and reasonable" she said as she took the handkerchief he offered.

"Of course" he replied, trying earnestly not to laugh.

"I see that look" Adelaide scowled. "Do you not think I'm reasonable and level headed?"

"Most days, Adelaide" Neil said, "but we all have our moments"

"Including you" she told him.

"Aye, even me"

She hitched her breath, "I feel ridiculous"

"Don't" Neil stood and went over to the side table where the medication was being kept. "Let's give you more of this and don't argue with me"

"Alright" she said, softly. She took the glass from his hand and drank it. "I'm never going to be myself again" she said, despairingly.

"Aye, you will, It will get better. There is no permanent damage although I'm sure it feels otherwise right about now" he told her, "just be patient and allow your body to heal"

"I know you're right, just right now it doesn't feel like you are" she sighed, "it's just adjusting to the baby and recovering from the delivery...and" she clutched the handkerchief, "I keep thinking about Simon, Neil"

"Of course you are, how could ye not with his son just being born?"

She nodded, "I feel like I'm grieving all over again and I'm so alone"

"You are not alone" Neil told her reaching for her hand, "you have your parents and your sister and Alice and Opal...and practically the whole cove is on your side, which is really quite the achievement considering you are an outsider" He paused, "and you have me, lass. Whatever you need, I'm here"

Her lip trembled, "Really?"

"Aye" he nodded, "If you need a friend or just a shoulder to cry on. I know who you really want is gone, but you can't isolate yourself from the people that want to help you. And you can't control this situation, Adelaide. You will need help. There is no shame in that"

"Okay, I'll try to relinquish control and let people help" she squeezed his hand, "thank you"

"You're welcome" he stood, "I want you to lie down now and try to rest. I'll sit with you for a while until you fall asleep. When does the babe need to feed again?"

"About an hour and a half" she said.

"Alright, that gives you plenty of time for a nap" he helped her ease back down. "Doctor's orders"

"Make sure I'm woken if Simon needs to eat"

"Don't worry about that. If I'm gone, I'll tell Alice and your mother"

She rolled gingerly onto her side. They were silent for a few minutes and Neil thought that she was asleep, until she said, "Neil, I really don't know what I would do without you"

He reached out to stroke her hair, knowing she was half asleep, groggy from the pain medication, "I hope I can always be here for you, Adelaide. I don't know what I would do without you, lass"

"The Cove still wants us to marry" she responded. "Opal visited and said Uncle Bogg is still set on it, especially now the baby is born"

"I know" he said, his voice low, "but we didn't do anything wrong"

She sighed, "those days felt right. What does that mean, Neil? How can it feel right when I'm still grieving Simon and still love him so much?"

"I don't know, lass, but it felt right to me too" he continued to smooth down her hair, "don't worry about all that now, just go to sleep"

"I'm tired" she said.

"I know you are" he said, "you've been through a lot. Just rest now. Close your eyes, that's a good girl"

She fell asleep and Neil sat there for a while, contemplating the situation, before standing, kissing her on the head, and headed downstairs to check on the baby.

"How is Adelaide, Neil?" Alice asked as he came downstairs.

Neil beckoned to her and they headed into the kitchen.

"I didn't want to say anything in front of Julia and William, but she was completely weepy when I went into check on her. I know it's normal, but you and I need to watch her carefully for depression. I don't want us to miss anything, especially with Adelaide"

She nodded, "of course, did thee talk to her?"

"Aye" he said, "And I think she is just feeling overwhelmed. She also let her pain level get too bad, she's going to need encouragement to continue to manage it"

"Talking her into taking something is never easy, Neil" Alice said, "thee seems to be the only one who can do that"

"I don't give her much of a choice in the matter" Neil said, "and she knows it. I don't want to delay her recovery just because she is being stubborn"

"I don't think it is simply that" Alice retorted, "she feels the weight of this all now"

"I know" he said, his voice sympathetic. "but she is strong. She must allow for help"

"I know" Alice agreed.

"I'm going to go home now and get some rest. The babe needs to feed in an hour and a half, but if Adelaide is still resting and he is settled, push it back to two hours or so. She needs her sleep"

"I agree" Alice nodded.

"Call me if she is being bull headed and I'll come and talk her down"

"I will"

"Otherwise, tell Addie I'll come back tomorrow"

"Very good. We'll see thee tomorrow then"

* * *

"I should have been called sooner durin the birthin" Granny scolded as she bustled around the room, "The Doc completely destroyed ye" she told her, grunting, after she examined her, Adelaide consenting, knowing that she couldn't well afford to insult Granny right now.

She jiggled the baby and looked helplessly at Opal. "Where are my parents?" she mouthed.

"They went out for a walk" Opal whispered. "Mary must have told her from her visit yesterday"

Adelaide frowned, "Christy? Miss Alice?" she whispered.

"They are out too. That's why I'm here" she reminded her. She patted her hand, "Granny knows what she is adoin, Miz Addie"

Adelaide sighed as she handed the baby to Opal. She knew Opal thought so highly of Granny so she wouldn't have help there.

Granny started ruffling through her bag to retrieve some dried roots and began to lay them out, making a concoction. "This will be a healin"

Adelaide swallowed hard. She had no idea what she was going to do with the concoction she was making and she wasn't sure she wanted to know.

"Has ye milk come in for the babe?" she asked, frankly.

Adelaide shook her head, "Not yet"

"It should be in by now" Granny tsked, "if ye have been properly cared for. The Doc has no business with birthins"

"But Miss Alice has been so helpful" Adelaide said, softly.

"I know that. She be a right fine midwife" Granny said, "but on all these difficult ones, I need to take care of it myself"

Adelaide looked at Opal, helplessly.

At that moment, Neil knocked on the door. "Did everyone leave you..." he paused. "Granny" he cleared his throat, shifting, clearly uncomfortable.

"This be no place for ye" Granny said, severely. "What did ye do to poor Miz Addie?"

"Now Granny" he frowned.

"Doctor MacNeill saved my life" Adelaide said, sweetly, "And my baby's and I'm ever so grateful to him"

"Hurrumph" Granny responded, making up a paste. Adelaide craned her neck to look. "Opal, we need to brew them herbs to bring the milk in. Out with ye" Granny turned to Neil.

Adelaide shot him a desperate look and Neil stood his ground, "Not until ye tell me what ye are planning to do to my patient"

Granny remained silent and Neil went over to view what she was working on.

"This will burn her if you apply that" Neil said. "and affect her recovery"

"It will heal her, that's what" Granny retorted.

Adelaide's eyes grew wide, "Oh my" she looked between the two of them. "Granny, I'm not sure using that is a good idea" she said, calmly, trying to prevent Neil from saying something that he would regret.

"Now, ye look here" Granny said, "if ye marry the Doc, ye are goin to have heaps of trouble with as needy as he is"

"Needy?" Adelaide asked, "What does that mean?"

"Poor Miz Margaret look peaked half the time and there was only one reason for that" Granny said, adamantly. "Ye are goin to be in right sore shape unless we work on the healin now"

Adelaide's face flamed at the bluntness of the conversation. She reached for a glass of water, trying to tune it out. At the moment the babe started wailing and Neil reached to pick him up.

"Don't listen to her, Adelaide" Neil retorted, cuddling him against his chest and bouncing the babe up and down gently, "I was certainly not the only person with needs in my marriage, not that it is any of your business" he added, heatedly. "Did ye ever think that Margaret might have been the one to keep _me_ up at night?"

Adelaide spit out the water, choking on it. Neil shifted Simon to one arm and reached over to pat her back, "Easy there, lass"

Granny snorted, her eyes dancing at that pronouncement and Adelaide's reaction, "ye shouldn't be so blunt in front of Miz Addie. She's gonna think ye are not proper like"

"Ye are the one who brought it up, Granny" Neil said. "And I'm pretty sure Adelaide knows I'm not proper like. She isn't either, by the way"

"Oh, thank you" Adelaide shook her head, "I have no idea what you mean by that, Doctor MacNeill"

"I just mean ye are a big girl and can handle adult conversations"

"She looks like she wants to ground to swallow her up whole" Granny said. "Ye need to marry her quick like before she runs, son"

He pointed his finger at her, "You and everyone needs to back off. Nothin happened those nights"

"Doesn't mean that ye won't be tempted if Miz Addie stays" Granny said, "It may not have happened then, but she is a pretty thang that looks just like ye dead wife. Ye are knockin on the devil's door, young man, that's what"

"This is absurd" Neil muttered.

Adelaide looked between the two of them, knowing that she must tread carefully and change the topic quickly, before it escalated further. "Granny, I'm worried that my milk hasn't come in yet and that's why he is fussing so" she said, as Simon began to scream more and Neil handed the babe to Adelaide. "Would you be so kind as to advise me on that?"

"I surely will" Granny said, "We'll get ye and the babe situated in no time"

"That's such a relief" Adelaide said, glancing at Neil, "as for the other situation" she swallowed hard, "since Doc and I work so closely with each other, I just wouldn't feel comfortable going against his medical advice. I have to trust his judgment otherwise he won't trust me to assist him"

"If ye want, Miz Addie" Granny said, "but don't say I didn't warn ye"

"I surely won't" Adelaide promised, solemnly.

* * *

"Let me see that" Adelaide said as Neil slammed the bowl back down on the nightstand after examining its contents. He had been banished to the downstairs while Granny tried her remedies to help her with nursing the babe, but Granny had finally left and Neil came back in the room, Opal downstairs- everyone still gone.

Adelaide frowned, "How bad would this have been? It looks innocent enough"

"Bad" Neil told her, "I can't believe you were letting her treat you. Your mind must be addled by the drugs"

"I'm quite coherent. And I wasn't letting her" she said, handing him back the bowl, "I was trying to figure out a way to get out of it when you came in. If I offend Granny, Neil, I might as well go home"

He put the bowl down and sat on the bed next to her, "Ye shouldn't let what she said bother you"

Adelaide's color heightened. "I don't, Neil" She shifted and winced, "It's none of my business anyway"

"This is the pressure I was talkin about. They'll give us no peace until I take you as my wife" Neil responded as Opal knocked, bringing in the stew, catching that last part of Neil's statement.

Neil took it from her and Opal glanced at Adelaide before leaving, sensing that Addie and the Doc needed some privacy.

He sat on the bed with her and handed her the bowl. "I don't think Ruby Mae made it" he said, with a smile.

She took a tentative spoonful. "No, definitely not" she grinned at him.

"There is that sweet smile of yours" He studied her, "Do you feel better than yesterday, lass? I can't believe they all left you this afternoon"

"I do and I told them to go" Adelaide said, "Of course, I didn't know that Granny would be making an appearance"

He sighed, "She gave me an earful downstairs- a right fine tongue lashing"

"Now, who is letting what Granny says bother them?" Adelaide retorted, "You should be careful. You know you have to tread lightly. You were way too forthcoming with your opinions about her treatment"

"I know" Neil sighed, "but I would intervene again. We have to be careful with your recovery"

She nodded. "Thank you for that"

"I still can't believe you let her do God knows what to you" Neil told her.

"Well, that seemed like the better alternative"

"When your milk comes in like ye are nursin twins don't ye complain to me" he responded, bluntly.

Adelaide flushed. "You won't hear one word about it, that I can promise you"

Neil looked at her sharply, before laughing loudly. "I suppose not, lass"

They fell silent before Adelaide spoke again, "Thank you for being here for me yesterday"

"Are you feeling better?"

"I'm more hopeful today" she said, softly.

"Good"

She put the empty bowl on the nightstand, "How much trouble are you getting, Neil?"

"There seems to be somewhat of a reprieve since you have just delivered the babe" he told her adjusting her covers for her to help her lie back down. "But judging from Granny's words, that's not going to last long"

"I don't know what to say"

He brushed a stray piece of hair from her face. "Don't say anything. Just focus on recovering"

"But-"

"Please, Addie" he told her, "I can handle this for both of us. Allow me too"

"Okay" she nodded. "Of course I will. You know the ways here better than me. Do you think I should just leave?"

"No" Neil shook his head, swiftly. "I don't want that at all, lass"

"Are you sure?" her voice was soft.

"I'm positive" he retorted, adamantly, "that's the last thing I want. We'll figure out the way to go. Now, rest"

"Yes, sir" She smiled at him and he squeezed her hand before leaving her to her nap.


	4. Chapter 4

**Different Path Chapter 4:**

Simon was almost a month when drama happened in the Cove once again. A meeting was called after church. Adelaide had finally felt well enough to attend again and was rocking the baby in the back of the church, when Uncle Bogg stood.

"I think it is high time we talk to about the problem with Miz Addie and the Doc" he announced. "Now the babe is finally here and Miz Addie back to herself, it be time the Doc marry her"

Adelaide had to bite back her groan. Doctor Ferrand was here and this meeting could only mean trouble for her.

"Now, Uncle Bogg, we can't talk this over without the Doc here to defend himself" David spoke up. "And we need to be mindful of Adelaide's feelings"

"No disrespect to Miz Addie" Tom McHone spoke, "We are obliged to everythin she has done for the cove and our families. She is a right fine nurse and she has been a good friend to my Opal and to me"

"And she and the Doc saved my boy's life, but her spendin the night with the Doc is not proper-like or Christian-like" Bob Allen spoke up.

"Not sayin that Miz Addie isn't a fine Christian woman" Bogg said, "if it be anybody's fault, it be the Doc's"

"That's right" there were murmurs through the crowd and Adelaide was aghast at how they seemed to just put the blame on Neil. When does that ever happen?

"The Doc ain't believe in no God" Mary Allen spoke up.

Adelaide bit her lip as Simon started to fuss more and her jiggle him, "May I speak or is this a private conversation?" she said from the back of the room.

"Of course ye can speak, Miz Addie" Uncle Bogg declared. Everyone turned around to look at her.

Adelaide's blush heightened at the attention and there was quiet in the room until she cleared her throat and spoke.

"Doctor MacNeill and I both tried to explain this, but I'll try to again- that storm was terrible. We all here remember how bad that storm was. It lasted for days and it was dangerous. I was out in it alone and he saved my life by finding me and bringing me back to his cabin. I'm truly grateful to him. The only reason I'm standing here today is because of him. I was 39 weeks pregnant- there was no impropriety"

"I ain't sayin you sinned, Miz Addie. It's the look of sin. That's what the good book tells us" Bogg told her and Adelaide could see Ferrand at of the corner of her eye look more and more angry, still he did not move to say anything or stop the discussion. This was bad for her.

"But Doctor MacNeill can't be held to the same standards that you hold me too" Adelaide countered, "since he is an unbeliever. Blame me over him. I went into that storm, pregnant, it was a foolish thing to do, but you can't force Doctor MacNeill to marry me because of my mistake. He's a good man and an excellent doctor and he is one of you. Don't fault him on my behalf. I take responsibility for it"

"Ben Pentland said ye were awfully comfortable with the Doc in his cabin" somebody spoke up from behind her back. "that it was quite natural like"

"I just cooked him breakfast. He had cooked the morning before. Were we supposed to starve or just freeze?"

"But ye relationship is not proper-like to begin with how much ye travel with him" Bogg said. "It's time to make it proper-like"

"Truth be told, he needs a woman. He's needed one for years" one of the men spoke up.

"And we see the way the Doc looks at ye" Mary offered. "It be a good match"

"He needs some encouragement, Miz Addie, this is a right fine way to get him married again" Bogg said.

"The Doc doesn't look at me any differently then he looks at Miss Alice and she travels with him as part of her job and ya'll have no objection to that" Adelaide said, exasperated.

Ruby Mae snorted and Adelaide turned to glare at her and she straightened right up.

"Ye have the babe" Mary said, "It's not proper for ye to live here unmarried with a young'un"

"I'm a widow" Adelaide reminded them. "Simon is a completely legitimate child"

"That not be what Mary meant, Miz Addie" Fairlight came to stand beside her, "Now, look here, the Doc and Miz Addie will decide what they will do with all of this. Miz Addie is still recoverin from this here babe"

Jeb stood too, "Miz Addie is lookin peaked, I think, don't ye think, Uncle Bogg?"

"This is the first week Miz Addie has made it back to church, she's been so ill after the young'un" Opal offered. "Granny can tell ya'll"

"I can that" Granny nodded, "Miz Addie needs to be restin not up here gettin all worked up about the Doc"

Uncle Bogg frowned, "Are ye feeling well, Miz Addie?"

"No" Adelaide shook her head, "I'm not"

"I think thee needs to rest" Alice spoke up. "David"

"I think that is enough" David said

"We are just tryin to help her and the Doc" Bogg muttered, "They need to get married"

"Them workin together is just a recipe to encourage sin" Bob Allen said.

"Come on, Miz Addie" Jeb guided her out the door and down the steps.

"What have I done, Mr. Spencer?" Adelaide said, softly.

"Nothin, Miz Addie, it's just them here way around here. Ye and the Doc marryin would solve a whole heap of trouble, especially if ye want to continue to help him with the doctoring"

"I don't want him forced to marry me" she glanced at Fairlight, who was holding Simon. Opal walking next to her sister.

"Don't ye worry about that" Fairlight said, "I've known Neil MacNeill all my life and he has never been forced into doin somethin that he doesn't want to do. If he offers to marry you, is because he is awantin to"

"Fairlight" Adelaide stepped closer to her, her tone low, "We know that he loves my sister"

Opal turned to her, "I wouldn't worry about that either"

"Why not?" she demanded.

Fairlight shook her head slightly and Opal just muttered, "Miz Christy is done and married that's all. The Doc is smart. He has moved on"

"Not the way he felt about Christy...and we all know I'm a poor substitute for my sister" she said.

Fairlight and Opal exchanged another look, but didn't say another word.

* * *

"They did what?" Neil's eyes were wide. "They have no right to ambush her like that, man, none at all!"

"I didn't tell ye to get all angry" Jeb said, "I'm tellin ye because I figured ye have the right to know what happened considerin it was about ye and all"

"How is she?"

"She's fine, Doc" Jeb said, "Miz Addie is a right strong woman"

"But she feels these things deeply" Neil countered, "they need to stop with this nonsense. Nothin happened! I would never take advantage of her, even if she wasn't about to pop with the babe. Blast it, I'm so sick of this!"

"I reckon it is annoyin, but it is the look of that matter, Doc"

"What does that mean?" he asked, incredulously.

"Puttin those nights aside, ye and Miz Addie work awfully closely together. The Cove is worried that it is a recipe for sin"

He rolled his eyes, "It is no such thing"

"It doesn't matter if you think it isn't. It's how it looks to everyone else. If ye want Miz Addie to stay on as your nurse, then ye need to marry her, Neil, it's as simple as that" Jeb said, not mincing words.

He paused, "The Cove doesn't have a problem with Alice and I"

"It ain't the same thing. She was your wife's mama...and Miz Addie is young and she's a pretty thing"

"I can't argue with you there. Adelaide is attractive"

"To you?" Jeb grinned.

"Extremely" Neil sighed. "Even carryin the babe, she was to me and in more ways than just the one"

"The Cove sees it, Doc. I think that's why they are pushin so hardlike"

"I know" he said, "I don't hide it very well"

"Miz Addie doesn't see it" Jeb told him, frankly.

"I know that" Neil said, "and it will spook her if she does. She's still mourning her husband"

"What will you do?"

"What I want to do" Neil said, looking resolute. "For a moment when she was delivering the babe, I thought she wasn't goin to make it. I want her here"

"As your woman?"

"Yes" Neil nodded and Jeb grinned widely.

"Is that so?"

"I would have ended up trying to court her eventually anyway. I'll give her the choice. I can't just let her go back to Asheville forever without offering her a chance here...especially since I want her to stay"

"What do you think she'll do?"

"Don't really know" Neil shrugged, "I reckon we'll find out"

"She is a spirited thang, Doc. Ye will have your hands full"

Neil chuckled, "She isn't anymore spirited than the Cove woman, she just chooses her battles differently"

"Ye think she'll let you lead?" Jeb asked, frankly.

"Oh, she will" Neil nodded, "maybe give me hell and high water about it, but we'll find our way if we marry"

"Wish you luck, Doc" Jeb patted his shoulder, affectionately.

"Thanks, Jeb"

* * *

"Just what are you implying?" Adelaide's voice was calm, but everyone in the room could tell she was beyond angry.

"The whole cove is abuzz with this scandal" Doctor Ferrand said, "asking when you are going to marry Doctor MacNeill"

Adelaide rocked Simon in her arms.

"It isn't a scandal" Adelaide insisted.

"If the Cove makes it out to be a scandal, a scandal it is" he replied, crossing his arms. "You and him were both unmarried and spent several nights together in his cabin"

Adelaide glanced at her sister and brother in law who just shook their heads, wearily. She knew that David and Christy were both employed at the mission and that this was her battle to fight alone. She was also technically employed by the mission as well, though instead of a salary, they paid her in room and board for her nursing services. Yet, even that wasn't enough to persuade her to keep silent especially when Doctor Ferrand was being so unreasonable. They had met on two other occasions and Adelaide, being warned by Christy about how difficult he could be, managed to spend a lot of time away from the mission on those occasions- with Opal or Neil, but now there was no escaping.

"There was a blizzard" Adelaide retorted, calmly, "and Dr. MacNeill saved my life that day. I was 39 weeks pregnant and miserable. There was no impropriety"

"That doesn't matter in their eyes or mine as well" Jacob retorted, "you compromised yourself and this mission"

"Jacob, I think thee is greatly misreading the situation" Alice said, quietly.

Adelaide handed the baby off to Alice and then balled her hands.

"I don't appreciate the implications or the judgment from you" she said, crossly. "I have _never_ compromised myself and for you to imply otherwise is absolutely absurd"

"You would do well to remember that you are employed here and this is _my_ mission" Ferrand retorted.

"Oh silly me" Adelaide said, hotly, "I thought it was the Lord's mission. We can just leave Him out of it, Dr. Ferrand if you'd like"

David fought a smile, but Adelaide caught the look anyway and it encouraged her.

"Adelaide" Alice rocked Simon. "Why doesn't thee take a minute?"

"Miss Alice" Adelaide turned to her, "I love you to pieces, but I don't need a minute. Maybe Dr. Ferrand should take a time-out"

Christy's eyes widened. There were moments when she simply adored her sister and this was one of them- Doctor Ferrand had always been quite the frustrating man to work for. She had never seen her sister quite fired up like this, but her pregnancy and aftermath had caused her to be quite forthcoming in her opinions...or maybe it was spending so much time with Neil or maybe just the freedom of being away from society's confines. Regardless, Adelaide was in rare form.

"You are here under our good graces" Ferrand's voice was low. "How dare you speak to me like that?"

"I've been bullied for the past several years by men like you" Adelaide said, her voice low, "I'm not the type to sit here and allow anyone to say ludicrous things to me without defending myself. I'm here serving the people of this Cove, who don't think I did anything wrong either- they are just using it as a way to get their doctor married again because they care for him and they want him happy. It really is quite sweet of them"

"Be that as it may, you brought disgrace to this mission and we no longer need your services" Jacob said.

"Is that so?"

"It is" He retorted adamantly.

"You claim to have the upper moral hand, but the way you are acting, is not a testimony to what we are supposed to believe. Maybe that's why it had been so hard for you to break through here. These people need genuine faith, without the sting of condemnation. That is what they will respond to"

"Make your plans, Mrs. Napier. You would do well to focus on your son from here on out"

Adelaide just shook her head at him and walked out the door, shutting it firmly behind her. She walked across the yard to go sit in the gazebo, the day unseasonably warm. She was lost in her thoughts that she didn't hear Charlie or Neil approach.

"Jeb told me about the meeting" Neil hitched Charlie and walked towards the gazebo.

"That's not the worst of it" Adelaide told him.

"What happened now?" Neil asked her as he sat next to her. "Where's the lad?"

"Alice has him, I think" Adelaide said, "She'll get me if he needs me. Neil, Dr. Ferrand is here and he is not happy" she said, honestly.

"That man is a piece of work"

"Indeed" Adelaide sighed. "Technically, I do work for the mission. I mean, they don't pay me besides room and board, but there is a working relationship there"

"Aye, I know"

She turned to him. "I have to go home, Neil"

"What?" Neil looked to her in surprise, "Why?"

"I brought disgrace upon the mission. I'm no longer needed or wanted here"

Neil rose abruptly, "I'm going to have a word with him. You are needed here and you surely are wanted, a lot more than that man"

Adelaide's hand shot up and grabbed his arm, "What are you going to say? We spent the night together. It's the Cove that is hounding us, he's just joining in"

"This is beyond ridiculous, Adelaide" Neil retorted, "And for him to imply that you are somehow wanton or committed some egregious sin, that is not acceptable. He shouldn't be allowed to talk to you like that"

She smiled, "That's sweet, Neil, but I don't need you defending my honor. I already gave him a piece of my mind"

"Did you?" Neil cracked a smile.

"Oh yes" Adelaide chuckled, "I don't think anyone has ever stood up to that man. I think I called him a bully and implied that he wasn't acting very Christ-like, which is why he hasn't broken through here" She looked at him, knowingly, "Nobody appreciates hypocrisy"

"Strong words, lass" Neil said, approvingly, "It's about time someone took him to task"

"I had nothing to lose at that point" she said, "Come sit next to me"

He sat down again next to her. They were silent for a few minutes before he turned again to her.

"What are you thinking?" he asked. "You are so pensive"

"Do _you_ think our working relationship is inappropriate?"

"I don't, do you?"

"No" she shook her head, swiftly. "Do you think it appears inappropriate though to others?"

"Maybe" Neil said, quietly.

"I don't see how me being your nurse is any different than Miss Alice. It's infuriating"

"Well, at first I had the very same thought, but on that point" Neil looked at her, evenly, "Jeb pulled me around to their perspective"

"Meaning?"

"Alice was my mother in law, Adelaide. Clearly, there is not much temptation there. And you are young and a beautiful woman..."

"I just had a baby"

"True" Neil said, slowly.

"So, clearly, there shouldn't be any temptation there" Adelaide pointed out.

"That doesn't change how pretty you are, lass" Neil replied, easily, "it _is_ different, whether it should be or not"

She chewed on her lip, contemplating his words, "but I like being your nurse and your friend, especially"

"I like it too" Neil said. He put his hand on her shoulder, squeezing it, "Do you want to leave the Cove?" he asked, quietly.

"No" Adelaide shook her head adamantly.

"It's such a challenging life though" he commented, searching her face. "Don't you miss your home?"

"At times" She admitted, "but I don't feel like I belong in Asheville anymore"

"Where do you think you belong?" he asked.

"I'm not sure" Adelaide looked down. "I don't know how to figure out life without Simon. I'm trying" she looked up at him, "I'm truly am, but feel lost at times. Staying here in the Cove these past few months has given me a purpose"

He nodded, "But with the babe, you will have to ease back on your nursing duties"

"Not too much though" Adelaide said, sharply.

"You have to be practical, Adelaide" Neil retorted. "You don't want a wee one around illnesses and he is tied to you for a few months"

"Are you saying that I am no help here?" she asked, quietly.

"No, not at all" Neil told her, "you can help with surgeries and research and make quick sick visits. That would all be a tremendous help"

"Okay" she sighed.

"Surely, you knew it would have to be different now"

"I know" she twisted her hands. "It would be non-existent in Asheville"

He looked at her- he could sense her anxiety about forging a direction for herself.

"After Margaret, I just wanted to stay in my cabin for months. I had to force myself forward"

"Yes, but you are different. You are a man. You have a career to distract you" She studied her hands before looking up at him, "and besides all that, I still want things out of life"

"What type of things?" he asked.

"I know I told you after I delivered that I was done having children, but I want a family for Simon" Adelaide said, quietly. "Beyond my parents and sister. He needs to grow up with a father to look up to and brothers and sisters. If I go home, I will wait the appropriate amount of time and marry whoever will take me to try to give Simon that happy upbringing. I know it's naïve to think that he'll accept Simon as his own, but I can create that family for him if I have more children"

"Adelaide" Neil frowned, "Even with Simon's money, you feel the need to hurry?"

Adelaide shrugged, "Especially with that. Do you know how many men will be coming calling simply because of that?" she said, bleakly.

"I think the real question is do _you_ want to marry anyone in Asheville, lass?" he asked.

She shook her head, slowly, "No, there is not a person in my circles that I can think will be a good match"

"It's fine focusing on Simon now, but you need to decide what you want for yourself as well. What do _you_ want?"

She closed her eyes tightly, "It's not about me anymore, it's about Simon"

"It's about _both_ of you, Adelaide"

"Okay" she conceded, opening her eyes, "I want to continue to be a nurse"

"You are a fine one, you should want that" He nodded, "And..." he prompted.

She looked at him, "I want a place to call home"

"Would you like to stay in the Cove?" his voice was quiet.

"Yes, I do" she looked straight ahead.

"Why?"

"I...I feel freer here than I ever felt in Asheville. I feel like I can be me here...not somebody I'm supposed to be"

"Adelaide"

"Yes?"

"I think you and I should consider getting married"

She stilled and then turned to him, "But we can't get married" she squeaked.

"Why not?" he asked, calmly. "It's mutually beneficial to both of us"

"How is it beneficial to you?" Adelaide asked.

"You are an amazingly skilled and talented nurse Adelaide" Neil said, "and putting all that aside, to be completely honest with you, it's a lonely life out here"

"I know it is" Adelaide said.

"I like having you around" he told her, honestly. "And I would miss you if you left. Those days and nights we were snowed in- I wouldn't trade them for anything even if it is causing us problems now. It made me realize how much I'm missing"

"They were special for me as well" she agreed, her voice quiet. "But do you want a marriage with _me_? I don't want you to feel forced into anything here"

"I wouldn't suggest it if I didn't want to be married to you" he told her, "And I wouldn't suggest it if I didn't think I could make you happy though I have to warn you, I'm not an easy man to live with"

She smiled at him, "You aren't an easy man to work with either, but I've handled that quite well"

"You have indeed, lass" Neil chuckled.

"I'm not easy, either, at times" she admitted.

"Aye, I know" he nodded, solemnly.

"Neil" Adelaide's eyes were wide, "You weren't supposed to agree with that"

He laughed loudly and then turned serious, "Think about it, Adelaide. You parents already gave us permission to do what we saw fit. It's really your decision"

She bit her lip and sat with him, her thoughts racing. She looked ahead and then turned to look at him and then back out at the water and then back at him. This pattern repeated four times, much to Neil's amusement, before he decided he should step in.

"Do you have questions for me?" Neil asked. "Don't make a decision without all the knowledge you need to make a good one"

She turned back to him, pulling her focus to him. "I already feel I know you well" Adelaide said.

"It would be a change in our relationship" Neil countered, "And marriage is for life. Ask your questions. I know you have them- I can tell by the way you keep looking at me" he told her, smiling.

He had caught her internal struggles. She knew she was transparent at times. She blushed, "Maybe"

"Go ahead then"

"I gathered from our conversations before..." she took a breath, "that you and Margaret fought quite a lot"

"Aye, that is true. I won't deny that"

"I know you have a temper, but I don't want our marriage to be that constant battle"

"I was young and immature" Neil told her. "I'm still hot-headed, that's for sure...which by the way" Neil looked at her, evenly, "you have a wee bit of a temper too, lassie"

"Yes, that is true" Adelaide looked embarrassed.

"I like your spirit, Adelaide. It draws me to you. That part of you shouldn't be something you are ashamed of"

She bit her lip. "I'm used to getting my way"

Neil threw back his head and laughed, "Well now, that will probably be different for you because I almost guarantee you won't every time...and, unless I missing my mark, I don't think you truly want to every time"

"Perhaps not" Adelaide gave him a small smile, "but there might be some rough seas there for a while between us"

"Maybe" Neil shrugged, "I believe we will find peace between us. It may take a few fights though, but I'm willing to give to find our way if you are too"

"Simon and I" Adelaide twisted her hands, "we never really fought"

"Because he let you get your way most days, lass?" Neil smiled.

"Something like that" she murmured.

Neil laughed, "You just have to remember that all married couples have blow ups and it's how you handle the aftermath that matters"

She nodded, "How did you handle the aftermath with Margaret?"

"Running off to an emergency or drowning myself in Moonshine"

"Neil" Adelaide shook her head, wearily.

"Look at me, Adelaide"

She turned her head towards him and met his eyes.

"I learned a lot and I know how you feel about drinking to excess. I promise you that's not the way I will handle it now"

"I believe you" Adelaide said, "What would you expect of me?"

"It's a different life out here" Neil reminded her, "you have to be prepared for lonely days and nights and a lot of hard work"

"I'm not afraid to get my hands dirty" Adelaide reminded him.

"No, I know that" Neil said, "I'll help you though when I can and show you the way of things around here" he paused, "or you can ask Opal or Fairlight about womanfolk things as well to help you with those things. That would be a challenge at times for you"

"It would" Adelaide conceded, "but as long as you are willing to be patient with me while I learn..."

"I will be" Neil nodded. "What else?"

Adelaide fell silent for a few moments and he could tell that she was wrestling with her words. Finally she spoke, "What kind of marriage do you want us to have?" her color heightened, but only slightly.

"Real in every sense" Neil told her, looking at her blushed face. "If you are my wife, I want you to be my wife"

He could sense the change right away.

"From the beginning?" she willed her voice to remain even, to not let him know how nervous that made her feel.

He looked at her, his gaze steady, and she met his eyes, "Aye" he paused, "does that make you anxious?"

She took a breath, "Yes"

He offered his hand and she took it, him threading their fingers together. "It's not something to fear"

"I know" She swallowed hard.

"Would you want to wait?" his tone was even and non-judgmental but that made Adelaide even more conflicted.

Adelaide struggled for a few moments, "I don't know. Do you not want to wait?"

He chuckled, "I'm a man, Adelaide" he told her, squeezing her hand. "And you are a woman ...of course, I don't want to wait"

"Of course, that was being silly" She bit her lip, but allowed the feel of his hand to comfort her. There was something so soothing holding Neil's hand- strong, yet tender, just like how he was with her. "I don't know what I should say"

"Say how you feel"

"I don't really know how I feel about it" she said.

"I know it's probably hard for you to think on" his voice was kind, "But here's the thing: delaying intimacy between us would only frustrate me and cause you to be even more apprehensive about it. I would think it would be best to work through it right away"

"That seems wise" she conceded, softly. "If I am your wife, Neil, I'll be your wife"

"I don't want you to worry about it though" his voice was low. "We'll take our time with it" He squeezed her hand.

She nodded and then shifted. "Neil" Her voice was dry, "do you think one day we could love each other?"

"Of course" he said, his voice low. "I don't think we'll have a loveless marriage at all. Love grows. Passion grows...Will you give us a chance?"

"Yes" she said.

"Good"

Her stomach stirred as he leaned over and was about to kiss her, when they were interrupted by the wail of her screaming son as Alice came across the yard.

Adelaide jumped up, dropping his hand and took Simon from her, "Sorry, Miss Alice"

"No, I was more coming to check on thee" Alice said, "but I see thee is well taken care of at the moment"

"Alice, Adelaide and I are talking to David. We are getting married"

She reached out to smooth down the baby's hair. "We'll love having thee stay in the Cove, Adelaide" she said, softly, "Jacob is a proud and stubborn man. He doesn't know thee like we do or see what a positive impact thee makes here just by being thyself. And he doesn't see what a marvelous gift God as given thee for healing. Thee is a fine nurse and thy skill is needed here"

"I quite agree" Neil nodded, solemnly.

"When will thee marry?"

Neil looked at Adelaide, who responded for him, "It's your choice, Neil"

He hesitated and Adelaide looked to him, curiously. "What is it?"

"Can I be blunt?" he asked.

"When are you not?" she asked, teasingly.

"Fine, do ye feel recovered from the babe enough for us to marry?" he asked, not mincing his words.

She blushed and Alice looked amused. "I felt well today, but church and all this drama has left me a little sore and weary" she admitted.

"But in general?"

"Better, but not completely" she told him, honestly. "Neil, this is not something we should probably talk about this openly"

"It is" he retorted, evenly, "as I am both your future husband and your doctor, I want to make sure that you are okay for us to get married and that we aren't doing anything to jeopardize your recovery. Don't be so squirmy about. Both sex and havin babies are a way of life and certainly not anything to be ashamed of"

"Miss Alice, tell him" Adelaide looked to her mentor for help.

She held up her hands, "Don't involve me, Adelaide" she said, "I'm not getting in the middle of this argument"

"Where is Christy when I need her?" she looked around as Simon began to fuss again.

Neil threw back his head and laughed, "Oh, lass...just answer the question"

She sighed, "Two more weeks would probably be sufficient to completely recover from Simon's delivery given how much I feel better with each passing day"

"I concur" He looked to Alice, "We'll marry after then"

"Good. She can stay at the mission those weeks. Jacob can't stop Adelaide from visiting her sister"

Neil chuckled, "Very true"

"And that will give the Cove time to plan"

"Plan what?" Adelaide asked, bouncing Simon who started to scream.

He reached over to pat Simon's back, "They put us together, it's going to be a right fun jollification" He winked at her.

"Oh goodness" Adelaide laughed.

* * *

Neil had been called away the very next day. Alice reported that there were several influenza cases in Lefty Branch. The woman of the Cove took to planning her wedding to the Doc, the celebration taking place at the Doc's cabin. Neil sent word that he would be back in time for the wedding, the final cases wrapping up. Adelaide knew he would come when he could- she was well aware of how it was to live with a doctor.

Adelaide was kept busy by trying to organize and pack her and Simon's things. Opal and Fairlight were helping her take in the lavender dress she wore for Christy's wedding. Even though she was midway through her pregnancy, it was the closest dress that fit her now six weeks after the baby. It was a fact that made her quite a bit anxious, considering what was to come next, but Opal and Fairlight did their best to ease her tension and reassure her.

Another source of anxiety was her sister's reaction to her upcoming nuptials. That conversation was one that Adelaide kept replaying in her head, breaking her heart over and over again.

"You can't marry him" Christy shook her head at her, "Why would you even agree to it?"

"Christy" Adelaide sat down on her bed, reaching over to rock Simon, who was resting in his cradle. "He is a good man"

"But you don't love him" Christy protested, "And you haven't had your proper time of mourning"

"Both of that is true" Adelaide said, "but if I am to stay here, this is the life I'm going to lead"

"Why don't you go home?" Christy said, "Go to Asheville. Marry Edward Shaw"

She swallowed hard, "Ed hasn't asked me to marry him. Neil has. Plus, Neil is going to allow me to continue with being a nurse. Edward would never allow his wife to work...neither would the men in Asheville that I could marry" She paused, "I know this is hard for you to accept, but Neil and I..." she stopped again, trying to choose her words, "we are close. It's a leap, but it's not a huge leap"

"You can't marry someone you don't love"

"Christy" her voice was low, "you know that's not true...you just suggested I marry Ed and I certainly don't love him...people marry for practicality purposes all the time"

"But...are you going to" Christy paused, "be intimate with him?"

Adelaide titled her head, "That's really none of your business"

"I'm just saying" Christy shifted, "It was special between you and Simon. You told me that. And it was because you loved him- you said that it was an expression of your love...and you are right, it is, but you don't love Doctor MacNeill"

Adelaide sighed, "Then call it a duty"

"Do you really think Doctor MacNeill wants you to" Christy paused, "do that with him out of duty...and how can you want to do that?"

"Christy" Adelaide's temper was hanging on by a thread, "Sissy, woman make love to their husbands all the time out of duty. Hang it, there were times I made love to Simon out of duty, especially at first, even when I did love him with my whole heart. You can't tell me that it is different for you and David"

Christy blushed, "maybe we shouldn't be talking about this"

"Perhaps not" Adelaide countered. "I'm already feeling nervous about it and you aren't helping"

"Maybe that should tell you that you are acting wrongly"

"No" Adelaide shook her head, "My nerves have nothing to do with who Neil is. He is the type of man that I should marry"

"He..." Christy crossed her arms, "He isn't a believer. You aren't supposed to do that. What would Simon have said?"

Adelaide's stomach twisted, but she managed to keep her voice gentle, "You made your decision based on that. I have to make my decision based on other factors. Simon respected and trusted Neil as he did me. I don't think he would object. In a lot of ways, Neil and I make sense"

"You should have never grown so close to him" Christy's eyes flood with tears. "You knew"

"Christy, you are married to David" she ran her hands over her face, "and you are happy with him. Let Neil be happy. If you care for him, you'll let him be happy"

"It's one thing for him to be happy with someone I don't know...it's another for him to be happy with you. You're _my_ sister"

"I understand that" Adelaide's eyes become teary. "What do you want me to do? Do you want me to call off the wedding?"

"No" Christy rose. "Neil will be a good father to Simon. He is a good man- you are right about that. Simon needs a good man to be his father and Neil will be the best" her lip trembled, "I talked to David this morning. He thinks I should go home for a few days"

Adelaide looked at her, surprised, "When?"

"Now"

She couldn't hide to hurt she felt at that announcement that her sister would leave for Asheville and miss her wedding. "Of course, sissy" she murmured, "if that is what you need"

"With the school closed due to the illnesses, it's a good time to get away"

"Yes" Adelaide acknowledged. "That is true"

Christy's face grew white as she twisted her ring, "I can't watch him say vows to you. I'm sorry"

"Oh, Christy" Adelaide's throat was dry, "I didn't know you were still struggling"

"I didn't know" Christy whispered, "I married David and didn't look back, but then you and Neil...and I don't know. I just need time away to think about all of this. And pray"

"I'll pray for you too" Adelaide offered, standing as well, going over to give her a hug, "I love you"

"I love you too" Christy pulled away, "I'll see you when I return. I can bring back your dresses for you that mother altered"

"Thank you" she wiped her eyes, "I'll miss you"

"I'll miss you too, sissy"

Christy left her and Adelaide buried her hands and cried.

* * *

David came up and sat on the porch swing next to her as she rocked Simon.

"Did Christy get on the train alright?" Adelaide looked down at the baby.

"Yes, she did" David said, "I told her to call when she arrived in Asheville safely"

"Good" Adelaide unswaddled and then reswaddled the baby, balancing him on her lap.

"Can I hold him?" David asked.

"Of course" Adelaide smiled at her brother in law, "He's your nephew"

David took him in his arms, "How are you?"

"Worried about my sister" she said, softly.

"Well, now" David smiled at the baby, "You are a good sister, Adelaide"

"I don't feel like a very good one right about now" she confessed.

David looked over at her, "I knew about her feelings for MacNeill when I married her. We are happy in spite of them. She'll come to terms with your marriage to Doc and we'll move on. She just needs some space from the situation" He handed the baby back to her when he started to fuss.

"Does she feel like I'm betraying her?" Adelaide's voice was small as she snuggled Simon against her chest.

"A bit" David admitted, "but you aren't and she'll realize that in due time"

She nodded and rubbed Simon's back.

"I think that it is more that she made this decision based on a faith that you share with her, yet when you were confronted with the same decision, you chose differently" he said. "It makes her objections seem invalid"

"You understand my sister quite well" Adelaide said, softly.

"I'm learning, Adelaide, that's for sure" David replied, "But she's my wife and I love her. And we are happy together. She just has to sort through this and I believe she will"

"David" her voice was pained, "may I ask you something as my minister?"

"Of course, Addie" He said, easily, "What's going on?"

Adelaide took a breath, "Christy had concerns about Neil being agnostic. I know the Bible warns against it, but...here are other things to consider too"

"Like staying in the Cove and forging a life for you and your son" David nodded, "God isn't going to punish you for marrying an unbeliever, but that doesn't mean that his lack of faith won't affect your marriage in significant ways, which is why God warns against it in the first place"

"That makes sense" she continued to rub Simon's back, methodically. "I know he is pretty opinionated about his beliefs, but he has always respected mine"

"That's half the battle" David said. "You never know what God might do"

"That would be a miracle, wouldn't it?"

David elbowed her affectionately as a brother would a sister. "You do know that God is in the business of miracles"

Adelaide laughed, her face lighting up, "He is indeed"

* * *

On the eve of her wedding, she handed Simon off to Miss Alice and walked to the graveyard. She knelt down next to Simon's grave.

"I really do think I made the right decision, love" Adelaide said, brushing off the dirt from the headstone. "At least I hope I did. I know you thought highly of Neil and I do too. I still love you, Simon, I don't think I'll ever stop. I wish you were still here and I still ache for you, but this is something I still think I need to do for me and for our son. You told me not to be ordinary, and well, I think staying here isn't the ordinary path. I hope you agree. I really do miss you. Making all these decision without you is so hard- just living without you is hard"

Tears pooled in her eyes as she clutched the wedding ring which she wore still around her neck. When she was expecting, it no longer fit, so she put it on a chain and around her neck, wanting to still wear it. She still had Simon's clothes in her drawer- not knowing quite what to do with them- the grief she felt letting go of those things were still very powerful. She fumbled with the clasp and the necklace fell into her palm. She clutched it and took a breath.

"Goodbye Simon" she whispered and stood. Without looking back, she walked out of the graveyard and nearly walked into Neil. He had been waiting for her.

"Neil" Adelaide still clutched her wedding ring, "you are back" She looked at him, almost guiltily, but his gaze was steady.

"Hello, lass" he said, quietly, "Alice said you had gone for a walk. I thought I might find you here"

"How did you know I would be here?" she asked, amazed at how well he always seemed to understand her.

"It's what I would have done if my grief was fresher like yours" he said. "Are you alright?" he inquired, his voice kind.

"I think so" she nodded.

"What's in your hand?" he asked, his eyes wandering to her fisted hand.

"Oh, it's just" she bit her lip and opened up her palm to show him. "it's my wedding ring"

He nodded. "I see"

She took a breath. "Can you do be a favor?"

"Anything, lass, you know that" Neil responded, easily.

"Simon's clothes are still in my top dresser drawer. Can you just take them...and...this" she took his palm and gave him her wedding ring, "It still hurts and I just can't bring myself..." she paused, "I'm sorry..."

"Say no more. I can take care of it for you" Neil said, "what do you want done?"

"Give the clothes for the Spring clothing drive" Adelaide said, "And I don't know about the ring"

"We'll save it for the lad. One day he might want to give it to his wife" Neil said, "if that is alright with you"

"Are you sure you don't mind?" she asked. "I know you have been busy and it's..."

"Of course I don't mind" he interrupted her, before she could go on, "I'm becoming your husband tomorrow, Adelaide, it's my job to provide for your needs and regardless of that, I want to help you with this"

"Thank you" she said, relieved. She knew she couldn't take Simon's clothes with them- his medical bag was one thing that had a practical purpose, but his clothes? There was no way she could take that to her new husband's house.

Neil slipped the chain and ring into his pocket and reached for her hand, taking it in his. He squeezed it once, comfortingly, before saying, "Let's go sit in the gazebo for a while so we can talk. Alice said she is fine with the lad for a while"

"I'd like that" They settled in the gazebo, Neil still holding her hand.

"Speaking of rings..." he let go of her hand for a minute to fumble around in his other pocket.

"I don't need..." she began to protest.

"Aye, you do" Neil interjected. "Now, it's not as fancy as your rings that Simon gave you, but it is special to me and I wanted you to have it tomorrow. Can we make sure it fits?"

She gave him back her hand and he put the ring on, "I thought it would"

It was a simple band and it fit well.

"It's special to you" Adelaide said, tilting her head inquiringly, his hand still holding hers.

"Aye" he nodded, "It was my mother's"

"Neil" Adelaide's throat was dry. She didn't quite know what to say. He was giving her his mother's ring, the gesture touched her more than she could ever express. "Are you sure you want me to wear this?"

"Absolutely" Neil said adamantly, sliding it back off.

"But didn't you give it to Margaret?" she questioned, curiously.

He shook his head, "Margaret's tastes were different" he said, lightly, "but I knew the sentimental nature would be appreciated by you"

"I'm really honored" Adelaide said, quietly. "I feel undeserving for you to give me something that clearly means so much to you"

"You are going to be my wife, Adelaide" Neil said, "You are special to me too. It seems right giving you this ring to symbolize our marriage"

"Thank you"

He nodded, placing it back in his pocket.

"I feel like I haven't seen you in weeks"

"I'm sorry, Adelaide" he told her, "I know my absence makes this seem rushed between us, but I'm afraid that's the life I'm offering you"

Adelaide smiled, "I know that you are gone a lot, it's not a surprise. May I still help you with your doctoring though?"

"Aye" Neil nodded, "I still want you to. We have to work it around the babe's schedule, but having you at my cabin should make it easier"

"Good" she said, "Tell me about your cases"

"There were a handful of cases in Lefty Branch" he told her. "One death- a little boy" he couldn't hide his pained expression.

"I'm sorry, Neil" she responded, softly, "It's always hardest when it is a child"

"Aye, we were fortunate it was just those cases and the one death. I was worried we were clear on our way to an epidemic"

"I'm very thankful that wasn't the case"

"I am as well. How's the lad?" Neil asked.

"Smiling up a storm these days" she said, "he looks so precious when he does"

"I can't wait to see that" he told her. "I've missed the two of you"

"I missed you too" she murmured and they fell quiet, still hand in hand.

Finally, Neil broke the silence, "Did you let Alice examine you?"

"Yes" she titled her head, "Per your orders, Doctor MacNeill"

"Ah, did ye get that message, lass?" Neil chuckled, unable to help himself. He could tell she was trying to decide whether to look put out or just let it go.

"I did and while, I was tempted to argue with you about it, I didn't want Miss Alice to get stuck in the middle especially with things so stressful for the both of you" she told him.

"That was quite noble of you" he teased.

"I thought so too" she answered, smiling. "though truth be told, it was probably a wise idea for a follow up after the delivery I had" she said.

"And?"

"You ordered it, didn't you ask after it?" Adelaide asked.

"Of course, I did" Neil answered easily, "but Alice said to ask you...something about confidentiality, which was also pretty annoying considering I'm your doctor, but she thought I was asking more as a soon to be husband, so she referred me back to you"

"Good for her" she laughed, "Everything is fine"

"Do you feel recovered?" he asked, noticing her blush.

She nodded, "Yes, finally"

"Good" he said, "are you ready for us..." he paused, " to get married tomorrow?" the look he was giving her made her blush. She knew exactly what he was getting at.

"Are you asking me if I am ready to have..." she swallowed hard and her blush increased, significantly, "um..." she searched for a delicate word.

"Speechless, Adelaide?" Neil laughed, heartedly. "That is a rare sight indeed" His look turned mischievous at the sight of her blush, which was quite red. He let go of her hand and reached to rub her cheek with his fingers, "there is that tell tale color of yours. I'm making you completely uncomfortable"

"Yes" She swallowed again, "but to answer your question...tomorrow is still hard for me to wrap my mind around, actually"

He nodded, "I understand" he placed his cool palm against her cheek, the color receding, "much better. How's this? Are you ready for us to be spending a whole lot of time together?"

"I am, I happen to like spending time with you" She gave him a sassy look.

"Do you now?" he chuckled under his breath.

"I do. I suppose the real question is are _you_ ready for a woman and babe to invade your space?"

"Tis no invasion, lass. And I am more than ready"

She grinned and they fell silent.

"Are you upset your parents won't be here?" he asked, his voice kind.

She turned to him, startled. "I..." she frowned, looking away quickly, staring out at the water, "they were just here for Simon's birth and they stayed a long time. I understand their reasoning"

"That's not what I asked"

"Hum" she shrugged, "You know my parents and I don't typically see eye to eye on things" she retorted grimly.

"Is there a reason your sister is in Asheville?" Neil asked, turning her head towards him.

She refused to look at him and looked back on the water.

"With you closing the school because of the epidemic, it seemed like a good time to visit her friends"

"Adelaide" he chided, turning her head back to him, applying a steady pressure so she would not turn away again, "Come now, I can tell something is wrong here"

She sighed, looking at him. "She's a bit upset right now. She'll get over it"

"Over what?"

"You know what over, Neil" Adelaide told him, her voice low. "Please don't make me explain it"

"_She_ chose Grantland" Neil was aghast. "I asked her not to"

"Did you?"

"More or less" he retorted, "she married another man"

"Yes" Adelaide murmured, "but she cared a lot for you and the thought of you marrying her sister is a bit much for her to handle"

Neil frowned, "I don't see how she has the right to make you feel badly about it"

"Oh Neil" Adelaide shook her head, wearily, "She loved you and I know she did"

"Did she tell you that?" Neil's look made Adelaide cringe inside because it was confirmation that Neil's feelings for her sister were still quite real.

"She didn't have to. This is something sacred between sisters. And she has always been used to getting her way. Mother and Father will make her feel better. They always take her side anyway"

"Which is something I'll never understand" Neil admitted.

Tears filled her eyes, "Curse of being the firstborn I suppose and Christy being the baby" she paused, "I think when Amelia died, it caused them almost to baby Christy more because she had become the little one in the family again. And" she shrugged, "I was always independent"

"you don't talk about your sister ever, Adelaide" Neil said. "Christy told me about her ages ago, but you never mentioned her"

"Her death is why I wanted to become a doctor, Neil"

"A doctor?" he looked at her, surprised.

She covered her mouth at her error, "I meant nurse"

"I don't think you did" Neil retorted, evenly, "I think you meant a doctor"

She bit her lip. "I..." she shrugged, "My parents would have never allowed it, but even if I am a woman, I'm entitled have dreams"

He nodded, "I would never take that away from you"

"Can we talk about something else?" she asked, "besides my family or my wayward dreams?"

"For now" he said, quietly, "but part of us getting married is that I want to know you, Adelaide. I can tell there is a lot to learn about what's in your heart"

"I feel like you know me so well"

"Well" Neil smiled at her, "I do know you. You have shared a lot of you with me, but there is so much more to know"

She titled her head, "That goes both ways, Neil"

"Mountain men aren't typically open people" Neil retorted.

"That sounds like an excuse to me, Doctor" Adelaide countered. "And not a very good one at that"

He chuckled, "You aren't going to let me get away with much, are ye woman?"

She laughed, "Probably not"

He leaned over to kiss her cheek, "Tomorrow, Adelaide"

"Tomorrow" she murmured.

They sat in comfortable silence before Neil said,

"Let's go, lass, I want to find the lad and become reacquainted"

She smiled at him and he reached to pull her up and they walked back to the mission together to find Simon.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N & Warning**: while language is not explicit, there are mature themes. Strong T for the shiveree :). Thanks to all who continue to read and those who review! I love feedback! :)

**Different Path Chapter 5**

Adelaide clutched the bouquet of wildflowers that sweet Zady Spencer had offered her. It was a poor time of year for flower picking, but Zady found the first blooms on the mountain. In another month, the mountains would be saturated with the flowers. She hadn't even thought of a bouquet, but as usual Fairlight thought of everything.

The area by the creek that they were having the ceremony was so crowded with people that she could barely see Neil.

It was at this moment, looking at the crowds of people, that she desperately wished her father was here and to have his strong, steady presence next to her as she made this life-long commitment. She felt very much alone without her family here for support.

She let her heart wander to the last time she made such a commitment. It had been the perfect day for her wedding- standing up in church with Simon in front of their friends and family. She had been young and hopelessly in love. Never in her wildest dreams could she have imagined in the moment that Simon's tear filled eyes met hers when he saw her for the first time in her pearl encrusted dress and long flowing veil that such a short time later, he would be gone. It made her heart ache.

The masses separated so she could see her bridegroom more clearly. She hadn't realized that she had stopped moving, until she forced herself to look at Neil. She found his eyes. It wasn't the love there that she saw with Simon's, but it was understanding, compassion...and something else. _Hope_. And yes, still joy.

He smiled at her and took long strides towards her. He wasn't going to let her do this alone.

She was so thankful for him, yet again. Her heart overflowed with gratitude.

"You look beautiful today" He whispered in her ear. "Don't be nervous"

"I didn't realize the whole Cove would be here" she murmured.

"Of course. It's a special day for all of us" He leaned over and kissed her cheek and offered his arm.

They made it to the spot by the Creek where David was standing. It was as pretty as a picture. She loved the Cove and the peace she felt while here in the mountains.

David began talking and Adelaide leaned over to whisper in Neil's ear, "Thank you for coming to get me"

"Anytime, lass" Neil whispered back.

The ceremony was short and sweet. Neil's vows were said with confidence, a sturdy assurance that all would be well between them. Adelaide's vows were said softly, but Neil's hand in hers provided the support she needed to make this commitment again...

"I, Adelaide Huddleston Napier, take thee Neil MacNeill to be my wedded husband, to have and hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love cherish and obey til..." Adelaide's words stumbled as her voice grew hoarse.

She met his eyes and his thumb began to run circles on the outside of her hand, comforting her, urging her to continue.

They both knew the full meaning of those words and the harsh separation that death did bring...and the complete heartache and devastation. Fear gripped her when she thought about this marriage meeting the same fate as her last one.

"It's okay, lass" Neil said, under his breath, at her whitened face.

She nodded. She knew he understood so well.

"til death do us part" she swallowed hard, "according to God's holy ordinance, and thereto, I give my troth"

Neil placed the ring on Adelaide's finger, repeating David's words and then squeezed her hands, pulling her in for a sweet kiss on the forehead then the cheek.

"Aw, Doc, that's be no kiss" one of the men piped up.

"Give Mrs. Doc a real one" another voice exclaimed and there was hooting and hollering.

"Mrs Doc" Adelaide questioned, giggling. "Is that my new name?"

"What do ye think of it, lass?"

Her face lit up, color restoring to her features. "I love it!"

Neil swung her around. "It is perfect for ye" he declared.

"Now, give Mrs. Doc a proper one"

Doc winked at the crowd, his arms still around her waist, holding her close to him. "Trust me, Mrs. Doc will get her fill of proper kisses tonight" He planted another on the side of her head.

The crowd hooted and hollered at that implication.

They made their way through the crowd and Neil stole her away into the cabin for a few minutes. There was food cooking on the stove and they knew the ladies would be here in a few moments.

He took her to a corner by the stairs.

"Are ye alright?" he asked, tenderly. "I didn't know if you were going to make it through the vows"

"I was thinking what those words meant and all the meaning behind what we just said" Adelaide said, softly. "I'm older and wiser now than when I said them the first time. I never thought then...but I know now. It just has more weight for me now"

"Oh, lass" Neil leaned and kissed her forehead again, "You brave woman"

"I'm not brave" Adelaide shook her head.

"Aye, you are" Neil countered.

"Why didn't you kiss me?"

Neil leaned over and whispered in her ear, "It will be more special tonight" He rubbed her arm. "Don't you think?"

"I didn't know you were so romantic, Neil MacNeill" Adelaide's stomach flipped at the thought of their wedding night.

He grinned. "We are going to learn a lot about each other in the coming days, wife"

Adelaide looked up at him in wonder, "I'm your wife"

"That you are" He drew her closer to him again, before the women came in, shooing them out.

* * *

Jeb's fiddle was creating life to the party. Neil and her had made their rounds to their guests, but had gotten separated. Adelaide was talking to Opal, rocking Simon in her arms when Neil came up being her.

"Opal, would ye mind taking the lad?"

Opal's eyes twinkled. "Not at all, Doc"

Adelaide gave Simon to Opal and turned to her new husband.

"Come on" He reached for her hand, "Let's dance"

She stilled and he stopped moving, looking back at her.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't know how to do this type of dancing" Adelaide said, as he pulled her closer to him.

"I'll help you" Neil chuckled, "All it is following directions. You are great at that when you want to be"

She poked at him. "Very funny"

"Come on now. I'm aching for a dance with you"

"It does look fun"

"It is fun" Neil continued to pull her along, "you'll see. Let's go, lass. Into the circle"

Neil's words were true. It was fun. He lifted and spun her and they danced the night away with the other couples. Jeb took a break from playing saying he had other duties to tend to and Neil eased her to the side. The crowd was getting a little more rambunctious as different activities were occurring as well. Activities that she was trying to ignore- weddings here were so different than in Asheville and she had never attended a Cove wedding.

"You have a nice color to your cheeks now" Neil said, handing her some water. "And more life to your step"

"Is that why you wanted me to dance?" she asked.

"Partly" Neil told her, "And partly because I just wanted to dance with my bonny wife on our wedding day"

She smiled up at him, "I'm glad"

"Adelaide" Neil pulled her a bit closer, "Has anybody explained to you about the shiveree?" He had suddenly become quite serious.

She looked at him, quizzically. "No, why?"

She could see Opal and Jeb coming up to them out of the corner of her eye.

Neil titled his head, "Things are about to get real interesting, my wife. I should have made sure you knew. I forgot you have never been to a Cove wedding. No fretting, though"

Opal came up beside her. "Say goodbye to Adelaide now, Doc"

Neil grinned and leaned over to kiss her cheek again, "Bye, wife. I'll see you soon"

"Oh no" Adelaide's eyes widened at the look he was giving her. "What's going on?"

"Make sure you feed the lad" Neil said, his eyes on her. "and that he eats well"

"But..." she stopped protesting as Opal led her away and other woman soon surrounded her.

"Opal, what's going on?" Adelaide asked her as they made their way up the stairs of Neil's cabin.

"Forgot that ye be from the city and might not know about the way of the Cove" Opal frowned, "I'm sorry, Addie. I should have warned ye or the Doc should have at least"

Fairlight rocked Simon in her arms "Let's get this one fed. Mary and Lizzie are downstairs makin some tea, but the men will be here in no time. I told Jeb, we'd need more time on account of the young'un"

"More time for what?" Adelaide asked, taking her shawl to drape it over and feed Simon.

"Maybe the Doc should tell her" Opal said, frankly.

"Opal" Adelaide titled her head, "can you tell me, please?"

"This is your shivaree, Miz Addie" Opal told her, softly, "so we can help you get ready and then you and the Doc can make ye marriage official"

"Official?" she asked, quizzically, "I don't quite understand"

"_Official_" Opal confirmed, solemnly, "ye ain't be truly married until ye do this" she tried to explain and Adelaide caught her meaning, instantly.

"With practically the whole Cove outside?" Adelaide's mouth dropped opened. "I..." her face got red. "What about the baby?"

"Opal and I can take the little one to give the Doc and you some privacy" Fairlight said.

She wanted to tell them that them taking the baby downstairs wouldn't make this more private, but she loved both women and wouldn't want to hurt their feelings for the world.

Dancing with Neil had relaxed her, but with that announcement, her nerves returned, full force- this went against everything she was raised with and while she trusted and respected Neil and treasured their friendship, doing this with him so soon after Simon's death, so soon after delivering her dead husband's son scared her to pieces.

They woman chatted and drank tea as Simon fed and Mary took him to burp him so the other ladies could help her get ready. Adelaide stood.

"Here's your nightgown, Miz Addie" Opal said, "Let me get the buttons to your dress"

Opal had insisted on taking in her nightgown along with her dress. Adelaide tried to protest, but Opal wouldn't budge.

"Opal" Adelaide's eyes flooded with tears, when she saw the reason for her resolve. "Did you do this?"

"Fairlight helped" Opal said, smiling. "Do ye like it, Miz Addie?"

"It's lovely" Adelaide's voice was hoarse as she examined the pretty stitching. Scottish bluebells adorned the collar and the hem. It must have taken the ladies hours. "I don't think I have had such a beautiful nightgown in my life"

"Even from those big city stores?" Mary asked, rocking the baby.

"Yes, nothing this lovely. I still can't believe it"

"Miz Christy provided the thread" Opal looped her arm through hers. "She was right sorry she couldn't make it but wanted something special for you to have tonight and even stitched a few bluebells herself the day before she left"

It was a peace offering of the sweetest kind and Adelaide's heart overflowed with love for not only for her sister, but these ladies who have become her friends.

"Thank you, Opal, Fairlight" Adelaide said.

"And" Mary Allen stepped forward. "The ladies quilting circle was savin this quilt for a right special occasion and we feel like this is it"

"It's lovely" Adelaide fingered with quilt that they spread across the bed. It immediately transformed the Doc's room. "It makes the room look more like a home"

Fairlight chuckled, "The Doc needs a woman's touch for sure"

"In more ways that just his home" Opal laughed.

"Oh" Adelaide smiled, "that's a monumental task keeping the Doc in line"

"If any woman can, it's ye" Fairlight said, with a grin.

"I hope" she grinned. "I can't think you all enough"

"Think nothin of it" Fairlight said, "Now let's get ye dressed"

They helped her out of her dress and into her nightgown, brushing her hair out and then braiding it back for her, tying it tightly at the end with a piece of blue ribbon.

"There you are" Opal said as the other woman, talked comfortably in the room. She went to take Simon from Mary and hand him to her.

They could hear voices outside getting closer- a right fine ruckus of whooping and hollering. Adelaide immediately tensed.

"That be the men" Opal said to her, "Ye look as scared as can be. I know the Doc can be a bear, but underneath, he be a fine man"

"It's the way of the mountain man" Fairlight added, reaching to squeeze her hand, "Rough on the outside, but they be as sweet as honey on the inside. Doc will be understanding tonight, Miz Addie"

"Don't ye fret about it" Opal said, comfortingly.

"I just wish" she sighed, "I feel so overwhelmed right now..." Tears filled her eyes as she admitted what was in her heart.

"Now, don't be starting that" Fairlight to her, squeezing her hand, "It must be right fearsome for ye to start over with the Doc like this and bein pushed into it and so soon after ye had this babe. We'd all be feelin the way ye are, but ye are right strong, Miz Addie"

"Let yourself be happy with the Doc" Opal advised. "He really does want ye to be happy". They heard noise on the steps. Opal leaned over and whispered to her, "We'll talk more later"

"What if I can't do this?" she whispered back.

"Ye just married him, Adelaide" Opal countered, "you have to be his wife. I've never seen him so open or tender towards a woman as he is with ye and that's the God honest truth of it. He'll be a right good husband to ye"

"I know you are right" she replied, but her stomach was still tied in knots.

She heard the good natured jabs that make her blush even further as Neil came in the room.

"Let me have the babe. I'll take right fine care of him, I promise" Fairlight told her, quietly and Adelaide gave him to her, knowing that she would be true to her word.

She turned around to reach for the bag sitting on the dresser to give to Fairlight. "Diapers and extra clothes in case you need it" she whispered.

"Don't ye worry one bit about the babe" Fairlight told her, rocking him. "We are gonna become good friends"

"Thank you, Fairlight"

"Ye are welcome"

Neil stopped them on the way out to tenderly rub the babe's head. "Be a good lad" he told him and then smiled at Fairlight. "Thank ye kindly"

Fairlight nodded, "Of course, Doc"

He looked at her, "Make sure Jeb ensures no foolishness goes on"

She nodded. "I'll make him guard the stairs" she gave him a wry smile, "Enjoy, Doc"

He chuckled. "I will"

Adelaide's face got redder at the rather frank conversation, but Opal squeezed her hand and winked at her.

"Come visit when you are settled in if the Doc can part ways with ye" Opal said, letting go of her hand.

"I will, Opal" Adelaide told her, softly, "Thank you for everything today"

"My pleasure, Miz Addie" Opal said. She smiled at Neil as she left the room.

The noise downstairs seemed to intensify as the door shut, everyone leaving them alone, but enjoying the music, laughter and dance on this chilly evening, the bonfire keeping everyone warm outside.

She bit her lip and twisted the end of her braid between her hands, her bravery lost to her at the moment. She didn't bother to hide the vulnerability or anxiety, two things Neil picked up perfectly from the moment he walked into the room.

He walked over to her. He was the epitome of calm and controlled, the perfect compliment for her nervous energy, but there was also something in his look that Adelaide again couldn't read. She had seen it for a while now and she had no idea what it was.

"Give me your hands, lass" he told her, quietly. Without hesitation, she put her hands in his and he squeezed them, comfortingly. "Ah, you are trembling something awful. Are ye alright?"

"I'm not sure" she looked at him, lost. "I thought I could do this, Neil, truly I did, but now..." she took a breath. Her lip trembled, much to her horror. She could not cry- not right now, but at the moment, the weight of what they have just done came crashing down on her. She married a man when neither of them loved each other- bound herself to him for the rest of her life, and now she was going to give herself to him tonight- be intimate with someone that was not Simon- all six weeks after she delivered her precious boy.

Self doubt plagued her- and Neil caught the splay of emotions as they danced across her features.

"Talk to me" he encouraged her and squeezed her hands again, trying to prevent her from unraveling further.

She ducked her head as she tried to control her emotions. Tears sprang to her eyes as she tried to fight her feelings.

"Adelaide" his voice was low. "What is it?"

"Please don't ask me. If I cry right now, on our wedding night, I'm going to truly feel wretched. You might wonder what you got yourself into"

"Nah" Neil put a finger to her chin and tipped up her head, "why do you look so tortured? Tell me what you are thinking"

"It's not you" she quickly said, "not at all"

"I know that" his gaze was steady, "what is it?" he pressed. "Come now, you can talk to me about this. You can talk to me about anything"

"I know that" she sniffled, "I don't want to cry"

He shrugged, "I don't care if you do. Just tell me what's wrong"

She took a breath. "When we decided to marry, I knew what was expected, but I didn't prepare myself for what it would feel when the moment came"

"How do you feel?" Neil asked, his eyes on her.

"Overwhelmed" she said, honestly. "Embarrassed"

He searched her. "Why?"

She looked around the room and then focused back at him.

"Are we really going to..." she paused, unable to continue. Thankfully, the tears that threatened to fall before were held at bay by Neil's understanding, but the embarrassment was still there over what they were expected to do. _Now_...with everyone just a step away.

"You can say it, Adelaide, without getting so worked up" Neil told her, firmly, "this is not shameful. It shouldn't be embarrassing either"

"I..." she hesitated again, "where I come from, openness about it is considered unseemly at best" she said.

"At worst?"

"Obscene" Adelaide retorted.

"That explains so much" Neil said, wryly. "But you chose to stay here" he countered. "and there was a reason for that. You are different than what you came from"

She nodded, "That is true, Neil, but there are people here. Are we really expected to have..." she swallowed hard.

"Come on. You can say the word" he squeezed her hands, "World won't end" he teased, trying to break her tension. "I promise you"

"I know that" Adelaide took a breath, "Just give me a minute. I was raised by Julia, okay? You have to anticipate some of this. This word was akin to cursing"

Neil laughed, "Surely not"

"Oh, yes, it most certainly is...in the Huddleston household at least" Adelaide countered.

"I see" He laughed harder. "Fair enough"

She gulped, "are we really expected to have..._sex_"

"Good girl" he squeezed her hands, encouragingly.

"Thank you"

"Now continue" he prompted, squeezing her hands again.

She took a breath, "are we really expected to have sex now- with everyone outside and people downstairs?"

"Aye" Neil kissed her hands. "It's tradition"

"But why?" Adelaide asked. Her face remained red, but she continued, "I'm not judging, truly I'm not, I want to know why"

"It's a celebration of our union" he said, his voice patient, "According to Cove tradition, this is the real marriage ceremony between us"

"Why?" Adelaide asked.

"Why do ye think?"

She thought for a few moments. "Because we actually become one" Adelaide murmured, "Hum" she contemplated it. "That's interesting"

"Did ye not notice all the activities goin on outside with the shiveree?"

"I did" she said, "but I was trying to ignore it" she added, sheepishly.

"I should have prepared you better. I'm sorry, lass. I feel like an idiot"

"No" Adelaide shook her head, "You were so busy"

"It never crossed my mind" Neil told her, honestly, "And you are so fearless in many ways, I forget how uncomfortable this might be for you"

"I'm not really fearless, Neil" She said softly. "I struggle...alot... even with those things you deem me fearless in"

He studied her, "It's going to be alright- all of this" he said softly.

"But to do this here...now" She paused.

"What's your objection to it?"

"The whole idea feels so..." she struggled, "foreign"

"It's amazing we are still in the same country, sometimes, our ways are so different than yours" Neil conceded. "But just because it's different, isn't a reason to object"

"No, but I don't want our intimacy on display"

"It's not on display. We are the only two people in this room" Neil reasoned.

"But" Adelaide chewed on their lip, "can they hear anything?" her color heightened.

Neil gave her a cheeky grin. "Depends on how loud you are, Addie"

Her blush intensified tenfold. "_Neil_"

He chuckled, but as her genuine distress, managed to become serious again, "Don't get inside your head" Neil told her, his voice gentle. "If you are going to live here and we make a life here together, then we need to honor some of these traditions that I come from"

"So you want us to consummate our vows now"

He nodded. "I do, lass"

"Because it's what you grew up with"

"Aye, and there really is no reasonable reason not to" he paused and looked at her evenly, "don't ye think?"

"I suppose" She swallowed hard again, her throat dry. She bit her lip, still thinking it over, "Why did you tell Fairlight to ask Jeb to guard the door?"

His eyes met hers. "There have been occasions when rascals get up to mischief making to interrupt the newly married couple. It's not going to happen here"

"How do you know that?" Adelaide tried not to panic at the thought.

"Jeb will make sure. I trust him to" he answered confidently, "and" he let go of her hands, "we'll lock them out as an extra precaution" He walked over and locked the door. "There, all alone in here"

"Okay" She coughed a bit and absently fiddled with the end of her braid. He studied her intently for a moment in his usual analytical way.

"Here, sit down" Neil gently eased down on the bed, before asking,

"Why did you stay, Adelaide?" He walked over to the dresser to pour her a glass of water. "Drink this, you are looking faint" He sat next to her.

"I'm not going to faint" Adelaide said, indignantly, gripping the glass.

"I said you were looking faint, not that you were going to" Neil said, amused, "drink it anyway"

She drank it slowly. "I stayed for you"

"For me?" Neil's voice was quiet.

"I know those nights would cause problems for you. Alice and David said that your patients might not let you doctor them and they need you and you need them" She paused.

"So you were being noble" Neil responded, "you married me for the good of the Cove"

There was something in his tone that he tried to hide, but Adelaide caught it anyway.

She reached out and took his hand, "No, I'm not that noble, Neil" she said, squeezing his fingers "Far more selfish than noble, I'm afraid"

"How is that?"

"You are my friend. I believe you are on my side. If I return to Asheville, I would have to remarry and I don't think I would find someone that I trust or respect as much as you" She looked at him, "For a while now, I've realized that you are the best man I know besides my father, of course. That's why I chose to stay"

"That means so much to hear you say that" He stared at her, "thank you, Adelaide"

She nodded. "I'm sorry that I put you in this situation."

"Don't be, I'm certainly not" Neil said, taking her glass from her and putting in on the table beside the bed. He reached for her hand again and then leaned close to her, "You just said you trust me"

"I did" she nodded.

"That same trust I need from you now" his voice was low and intimate.

"Even though I do trust you, I'm still nervous, Neil" Adelaide whispered. "Quite nervous in fact. I just feel so out of sorts at the thought of us doing this together"

"I know" he kissed her forehead, tenderly. "It's okay that you are. I knew you would be"

"Did you?" Adelaide asked, smiling, her heart softening at the understanding he was showing.

"Aye" He traced the edge of her face, "none of this has surprised me so far"

"I'm sorry I almost cried" she murmured.

"Don't worry about it" He said, "This is a big step for you. I understand why you are overwhelmed"

"I just feel this enormous weight on me" she said, "I don't do well with change"

"I know. We should have kissed before the wedding so everything wasn't happening at once for you..."

"Everything was happening at once to begin with" Adelaide pointed out. "There is no way around that"

"That is true" he acknowledged and he grasped her face with his hands. "But still, ye are the type that needs to be eased into things"

She swallowed hard, "Neil, I want you to understand something about me"

"What is that?"

"Simon was my first in every way"

"Every way?" he questioned, curiously.

"Hand holding, kissing...everything"

"Is that so?" he asked, surprised, "boys before him didn't try to sneak kisses with you? You are such a pretty thing"

"No" she said. "I wasn't the type that boys liked"

"Well, you are very much the type that men like" he told her.

"Do you think so?"

"I do" he said, confidently, "I like ye"

Her confidence rose slightly and the tension between them eased a bit. "I like you too"

Their eyes met and they stared at each other for a few moments, lost in the moment.

"Will you be my wife tonight, Adelaide?" he asked, his voice low.

"Yes" she responded, her breath catching in the word.

Neil reached to capture the end of her braid in his hand, his fingers clasping the ribbon.

"May I?"

"Of course" she gave her consent and he gently untied the tie that held the braid together at its ends. He placed it on the nightstand beside the bed and then turned back to her.

Neil reached to undo her braid, starting from the bottom working his way up and then loosened it with his fingers, spreading it over her shoulders for it to fall completely down her body.

"Better?" Addie asked.

He nodded. "Your hair is glorious, Adelaide" his tone deepened and his look caused her stomach to quiver. "You should wear it down more often"

"So you've said"

"Now that we are married it would be entirely proper when you are at home with me" Neil murmured.

"It would" her voice equally soft. "especially if my husband prefers it that way"

His eyes captured and held her gaze until his lips met hers and she closed her eyes. Her body stilled but her stomach fluttered wildly as he kissed her, his kiss sweet and tender and light. It wasn't chaste, but it was very much intended to ease her tension and make her feel comfortable with him.

"Are you okay?" he asked, trying to gauge her reaction.

She nodded, not trusting her voice.

He continued to kiss her patiently until she responded and began to kiss him back. He deepened the kiss, applying more pressure and coaxing her mouth open and Adelaide reached to put her arms around his neck. The kisses which started so sweet were growing more and more passionate and Adelaide and Neil were both surprised with how easily that was happening. There was an undeniable spark that scared Adelaide and how much she found that she enjoyed kissing him.

He pulled back, his eyes full of desire. She jumped as someone hollered in the yard and turned her head in the direction of the window. Neil turned her face back to him.

"It's just you and me here, Adelaide" he told her, his voice low. "Ignore everything else"

"That's hard for me" she whispered.

"Aye, I know"

They kissed some more before Neil began to touch her through her nightgown. She stiffened almost immediately, before she could help herself. He pulled back, not wanting to push her too quickly.

"I'm sorry"

He shrugged, "It wasn't a slight, now was it?"

"No" she answered. "not at all. It just startled me"

"I know that" he told her, "do ye know what else I know?"

"I can't imagine"

"You think too much, woman" he chided as he rubbed her cheek, softly.

"How do you know I'm thinking?" she said, closing her eyes, allowing his touch to comfort her.

"You wear every emotion on your sleeve, Adelaide" he told her, still rubbing her cheek, "It's endearing. You are the most genuine person I know"

She opened her eyes to look at him and reached a tentative hand up to twist one of his curls. "I'll try to relax more"

"Don't anticipate what will happen, lass. You are thinking five steps ahead of where we are right now"

"I am" she admitted.

"Just live in the moment" he tapped the side of her head, "this is your greatest weapon, but can also be your greatest enemy. One step at a time"

"You're right" she continued to finger his hair. "All of this feels so unreal to me. Are we allowed to be doing this?"

He chuckled, "It's real. You are my wife now. I'd say we are allowed-required even. We have to make this marriage legal"

"Neil?" she sat up on her knees and put her hands on his shoulders, "May I ask you a question without you thinking I'm completely ridiculous?"

He smiled at her. "There is nothing that you could say in this moment here that I would find ridiculous, Adelaide. What's on your mind?"

"What if I don't remember how to do all this? Or what if I don't feel comfortable with certain things? It's been a while and Simon was the only person who I ever did this with. He and I...we understood each other in this way, but it was something we had to learn...us both. Do you understand what I mean?"

"I do" he said, longing to soothe her worries. "What specifically concerns you?"

"I'm worried I won't meet your expectations"

"I don't have any" he responded.

"Surely you do"

"I expect us to make love" he said.

"Okay" she let out her breath, "It's just, I know I've done this before, but that doesn't mean I'm good at it"

He laughed heartedly at that statement, "Are you trying to lower expectations?"

She titled her head, "Perhaps"

"I see" He reached to stroke her hair, smoothing it down, the gesture soothing. "Making love, Adelaide, is something that you get better with as time goes on. I'm sure you do just fine"

"Still..." she paused, swallowing down the lump in her throat.

"I'm not going to force you to do something that makes you uncomfortable, especially tonight. I won't push you to do more than you want right now. Let's just try to get you adjusted to the whole thought of this. I know this is a leap for you, especially doing this with someone other than Simon"

"It is"

"I think once our first time is behind us, we can talk more if we need to. I know I'm not typically patient person, but I will be patient in our love making. Please don't trouble yourself"

"That's what Opal said"

"She's a smart woman" Neil retorted. "Tell me what you like..." he paused at her cringe. "I can see we are going to have a lot of work ahead of us, wife" he said dryly.

"Thank Julia for that" Adelaide responded, wryly. "It's not something I feel comfortable talking openly about...and Simon never forced the issue"

"Simon was a patient man and was raised your way- he was sensitive to those sensibilities that were instilled in you"

"And you're not"

"I'm sensitive to your feelings. I care about what you are feeling and thinking" He leaned to kiss her forehead. "But I think you can talk to me about this, Adelaide. And I think you should talk to me about this. I want to know what pleases you. Try to communicate with me? I promise the world won't end if you admit you like something we do in this bed"

She blushed, "I know that" she said.

"And I won't think less of you" he added, a soft kiss to her lips, "Actually..." he deepened the kiss. "quite the opposite, lass"

"I'll try to be completely brazen" she offered.

He chuckled, knowing that it would be a while, but had no doubt that she would get there.

"If there is something you don't like, then tell me that too. And I think you'll remember, but if you feel unsure, I'll try to guide you, alright?"

"Okay" Her stomach twisted from nerves as much as she tried to allow his words to comfort her, she was still worked up.

"Does that make you feel better?" he asked.

"A little" Adelaide said, softly.

"Good. Now just relax" He kissed her again, his touch gentle, as his hand roamed along her curves. At first she was still completely stiff but he kept up, until her body relaxed and began to respond. His touch intensified, before he reached to undo the three top buttons to her nightgown. He fingered the neckline, tracing along the edge. His eyes met hers and her face flushed, anticipating his move.

"Scottish bluebells"

"Opal and Fairlight" for the life of her, she couldn't say more, not with Neil's fingers there.

"Fitting" Neil said.

"How's that?"

"It's what your eyes remind me of" His fingers continued to dip a bit lower, his eyes never leaving her face. He was teasing her or maybe just easing her to it. She didn't know. "There was a field adjacent to one of the old castle ruins that bloom up with bluebells. It's a sight to see. I want to take you there one day"

"I'd love to go" Adelaide murmured.

"Are you okay?" His fingers dipped slightly.

"Yes"

"Good" He gently pushed aside the fabric and slid his hand inside her nightgown to caress her. He wasn't being rough with her at all, but given the time it had been since the babe, it was uncomfortable.

She winced and pulled back.

He could tell by the look she was giving him that she was about to panic, when he pulled his hand out and grasped her hips, holding her steady, afraid she might retreat. "My fault. I forgot about you nursing the wee one" he said, "Did that hurt?"

She nodded. "I'm sorry"

"Don't be sorry" He leaned his forehead to where it was touching hers. "I need you to tell me if something hurts. You just had this babe not so long ago. I know that you are self-conscious about it, but I'd rather you tell me than not. Don't be a martyr for my sake. That's the last thing I want from you. Promise me"

"Okay" she whispered, still embarrassed by her reaction.

"Let's try it again and see if it still hurts. I'll be gentler" Neil told her.

"Neil, I'm not sure that's a good idea" she said, trying not to panic at the thought.

"Just trust me" he told her.

"I do" she said, "I just...do we have to?" she swallowed hard.

"No, but I want to" he told her, honestly, "Let me try again. If it still hurts, then we'll wait until you are less tender"

"That seems fair" she let out her breath.

"Look at me, lass" Neil told her and she forced herself to meet his eyes. "Good" He could feel her tension as he slid his hand back down her nightgown. He didn't his eyes off her, his touch extremely tender this time, him varying his touch until she breathed in sharply.

"Neil" her voice was shaky, as she felt herself responding fiercely to his efforts.

"Aye?" he asked, his voice deep, aware of how he was stirring her.

"I like that" she said it so quietly, that he had to strain to hear her.

"Good" his eyes locked with hers. "I'm so glad ye do. I love touching you this way"

"Do you?"

"Oh, woman, you have no idea" he said, earnestly, "May I kiss you again?"

"I'd like that" she said.

"Would you now?" his tone was something she hadn't heard from him and it stirred her.

She blushed. "Yes"

He kissed her more, continuing to touch her, mindful of her responses, but also becoming impatient by the amount of clothing between them. He kissed down her neck, before tugging at the hem of her nightgown, causing her hand to shoot over to cover his, stopping him from moving further.

"Are you alright if we take this off?" he asked, aware of the death-grip that Adelaide had on his hand.

"I just had the baby six weeks ago" Adelaide said, quietly. "I'm not quite myself again...far from it actually. Can't we just leave it on this once? Please?"

"I don't care about that, Addie" he said, still gripping her nightgown. "Let me see you"

"Why are we doing this?" Adelaide questioned, unable to keep the stress from her voice.

"Because you are my wife now" Neil murmured, "And I want a real marriage with you."

"We can have a real marriage if I keep it on" she argued.

"But" his voice was low, "I want intimacy in our love making, lass"

She couldn't possibly argue with that logic. In a lot of ways, she didn't want to. "It's cold" she said, but he knew it was a last ditch attempt to keep her nightgown on.

"We'll get under the covers, lass" he told her, "I'll keep you nice and warm, I promise" he added, impishly. "Now let go of my hand, woman, you are cutting off my circulation"

Her stomach twisted, and she released his hand, allowing him to pull off her nightgown. She grabbed her hair to keep it from tangling in it and then moved it to the front, much to Neil's amusement.

"There we go. That wasn't so bad, was it?" he said. He met her eyes. "Don't be so anxious. I already think you are beautiful"

"But you haven't really seen me like this" she responded, quietly.

"Then let me look" he moved her hands from in front of her to the side, squeezing them tightly before lifting his hand again to gently move her hair so it was covering her back, so he could look at her completely uninhibited. His gaze turned intense.

"Can we get under the covers now?" she said, after a few moments.

"In a minute" Neil murmured. "You are better than I imagined you to be"

She stilled, "You imagined me like this?" she squeaked.

He chuckled, "Of course, I'm not a saint"

She paused and then all the sudden, broke out in laughter, covering her face. "Oh my goodness. You _always_ speak your mind"

He laughed too and then reached to take her hand away from her face. "It's a blessing and a curse" he said and she giggled more, "That laugh of yours makes my day, lass"

She grinned, her eyes shining at him. "It's hiding the fact, I'm absolutely mortified, sitting here uncovered" she told him, honestly.

"But why?" Neil asked, reaching to smooth her hair.

"Lots of reasons, I suppose" she told him and he could sense her insecurity about her body.

"You _are_ beautiful- every inch of you- you don't have anything to fear in that regard" he told her his voice low and reassuring to her insecurities.

He laid her back on the bed, her head on the pillow. He lay on his side with her, reaching for her hip and rolling her on her side too and began to explore her body, strategically trying to stir her passion for him.

"You promised covers" she told him, her voice shy.

"That I did" He chuckled, pulling up the covers. "One day, you are going to lie here with me and be completely unashamed, my wife"

"Perhaps" she said, sighing at his touch, "one day in the distant future"

"Not so distant I think"

"Since when did you become an optimist?"

"Since you said yes"

She shivered under his touch. "You say the sweetest things to me at times"

"Don't tell anybody"

"Are mountain men usually this good with words?" she asked, teasingly.

"No, and I'm not usually. You inspire me" He laughed, "and we find our own way of romancing our womenfolk, Addie, if that is what you mean. You'll see"

"But our relationship isn't romantic"

"Shhh" he put a finger to her mouth, "romance comes in different forms, Mrs. MacNeill. This just means I have to try harder with you. Ye are a challenge for sure, but I'm up for it"

Her heart skipped. He wanted to try to make her happy. Somehow that made her feel so much better. She leaned over and kissed him, deeply.

Neil grunted in surprise and pulled her tightly against him, kissing and feeling her, passionately.

After a while, he pulled back. "I feel overdressed"

"Comparatively, you are" she said.

He took a finger and traced her jaw line. "Are ye okay if I get undressed now?"

"Yes" she stared up at him.

His eyes bore into hers. "Are you sure, lass?"

Her stomach quivered, "Yes" the word came out as a whisper.

He rolled over off the bed and went over to stoke the fire, making sure it was roaring for them. The distraction caused her to notice the ruckus downstairs, which was becoming louder and louder.

She watched him in the firelight as he unbuttoned his shirt and shrugged it off and then his pants and she found that she couldn't take her eyes off of him.

Adelaide bit her lip until she tasted blood. There was something about him that drew her to him- she was undeniably attracted to him- so different than Simon, yet he appealed to her- physically, personality, everything...even his temper, made a spark jump in her. How could that be? She chewed on her bottom lip, pensive. Realizing what she was doing by staring so openly at him, she hastily looked away, a change not unnoticed by Neil, allowing the fear creep in a bit when she thought of being vulnerable to him- physically, emotionally. She just committed herself to him for the rest of her life.

"Stop that" Neil responded as he climbed into bed with her, pulling the covers over them. He reached to touch her lips, "You were doing so well and now you look scared again"

"A little" Adelaide admitted, stiffening slightly as he pulled her into his arms.

"You have had sex before" Neil told her, rubbing her back gently, his fingers dancing up and down her spine, attempting to relax her again. "You know it's not scary. It's supposed to be fun"

"It was scary at first" she said.

"Well, yes" his fingers continued to soothe her, "but that's different. You know what to expect now."

"I haven't with you though"

"Am I scary?" he asked.

"No" Adelaide's voice cracked, "You are unknown and the unknown makes it seem scary right now" she shifted again, realizing how close they were to each other as he embraced her. "It took me forever to get comfortable with Simon and I..." she paused.

"You loved him" Neil finished for her, him moving his hand to stroke her hair.

"Yes"

"I know all of that" his voice was kind.

"Tell me it will be okay, that I did the right thing" she said, her voice breaking again. "Please, Neil"

"Shh" he comforted her, "it's a good decision for us both. Don't doubt yourself"

"We will be fine no matter what?"

"We will be fine no matter what" he assured her, "I know the unknown is scary, Adelaide, so, we'll get to know each other- with this and with other things" Neil said as he began to touch her again. "Like this" He felt her for a while, noticing how she responded to him. "This isn't frightening, now is it?"

"No" she sighed.

After a while, he leaned back and reached for her hand, putting it on his chest, "You do know that I don't have to be the one doing all the exploring, Adelaide"

She swallowed hard, "There are people here"

"Not in the room"

"No" her throat was parched again.

"Go on" he encouraged and she stared at him, still unsure.

"You can do this with me, Adelaide" he told her, "Just move your hand. I want you to touch me."

He could see her mind working a mile a minute, "Just touch my chest and where you feel comfortable and I'll be satisfied for tonight. We have to start somewhere. I told you, I'm not pushing you, but you can at least do that. I know you can"

"I want to" she whispered.

"Then why haven't you?" he asked.

"I don't want to be too forward" she mumbled.

"There is no such thing now" he told her. "Stop being so reserved"

At his encouragement, she began to feel his chest, running her hand through his reddish blonde hairs.

"There you go. That feels good" he leaned over to kiss her more. Neil continuing to be strategic in ways to stir her passion and him quietly guiding her, trying to get her to be more open, but he could tell she was uncomfortable. She was so timid and shy- completely unlike how she had been since they had met. He knew this was difficult for her to do this with anyone besides Simon and he was ever patient and mindful of that, not pushing her, content to let her try to wrap her mind around them doing this together at her own pace. It was a while before Neil pulled away, needing them to move forward.

"Adelaide" his voice was gruff.

She knew what he needed without saying more.

"Okay" she gave her consent, her voice soft.

"Are ye still nervous?" he said as he sat up and moved.

She reached up to finger his scruff on his face. "I don't know how to answer that"

"How about truthfully?" He leaned to rest his forehead on hers. "I always want the truth from you"

"A bit" She breathed against him and Neil's heart stirred again for his wife.

"A bit?" he questioned, lightly. "I've never seen you so jittery. You have nerves of steel when it comes to nursing"

"You undo those" she said, softly. "Completely and fully"

"I know" he kissed her. "Stop worrying so, sweetheart"

"I don't think you have every called me that before" she continued to rub her hand against his face, her stomach in knots.

"Considering you are my wife now and what we are about to do as husband and wife, I figure it is appropriate" Neil said, smiling at her.

"That's very true"

"Is it okay to call you that?"

"I like it" she said, softly. "It shows you care at least somewhat"

"Good" he kissed her. "I'll call you it more often. And Adelaide, they may have forced our hands, but I care a great deal for you"

"Do you?" she asked.

"I do. Please don't doubt that" he said, firmly. He eased her up in his arms, his hands behind her head, supporting her as he began to kiss her again, passionately, trying to get her comfortable with what was about to happen. He could feel her nerves settle down again and he pulled away. "Are you ready now?" he whispered.

"Yes, but..." She looked at him in his eyes, "I need..." her voice trailed off.

"What is it?" Neil looked at her earnestly, "At this moment, I would give you the world if I could"

"The world is not necessary" Adelaide's heart practically melted. Opal and Fairlight were right- sweet as honey underneath.

"Then what do you need?" He looked in her eyes.

She looked embarrassed when she realized how foolish her words would be. Neil would be nothing but gentle with her, the way he had been all night. Her anxiety was completely unnecessary.

"Never mind"

He looked at her, fondly, and Adelaide's heart stirred at his look. He knew what she was thinking.

"I'll be gentle as I can be with you if that's what you need right now, my sweet wife" he assured her, before laying her back down on the pillow, him talking to her in low tones as they became one together.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: **Thanks to all who have continued to read and review. Thanks as always for your thoughts. Hopefully I'm staying true to Neil's character, but also to the character I've created in Adelaide and not taking them too far off the path. They will find their way though...it's just going to take some work. :) And for those of you who are still reading Love's Abiding Joy, I'll work on that new chapter soon. I promise... I'm thinking this week! (this chapter had been written a while back so I thought I would edit and post- I'm writing LAJ from scratch now) :)

**Warning: **this chapter doesn't shy away from marital/mature issues.

**DP Chapter 6**

"Adelaide, you have to talk to me now" Neil finally told her as he reached across the bed to take her hand in his once again. "This silence is making me worry about you"

It had been several minutes since they finished with their rather awkward love making and Adelaide hadn't said a word to him. He could sense that she was retreating into herself as was her habit when she got upset or anxious and he wanted to prevent that. He knew he needed to get her to talk- to somehow ease her angst and the tension that was now magnified by the silence between them.

"Say something, lass" He squeezed her hand as she continued to remain silent before adding, "anything will do at the moment"

She cleared her throat as tears filled her eyes, "I don't quite know what to say"

"First of all, let me know if you are okay or not" he said, his voice even.

"I'm fine"

"Your words and your tone contradict each other" he squeezed her hand again. "Does it still hurt?"

"A little" she admitted, her lip trembling against all attempts to keep it still and the tears from falling.

"Still sharp pain or just soreness now?" he rolled on his side, but kept his hand in hers.

"Are you asking as a doctor or a husband?"

"Does it matter?"

"Yes, it matters right now" she sniffled. "Alot actually"

"I'm the same person whether I'm your doctor or your husband"

"That's true"

"I won't give you unsolicited medical advice, Adelaide" he told her.

"That's fair"

"I really want to know as your husband who cares about you and is concerned that you might not feel well" he continued.

"Soreness" she answered without further protest, "And I don't understand. It's been weeks and I've felt so much better"

"I know" he nodded, rubbing his thumb across her hand, soothing her, "but, sweetheart, listen, you've healed but it was a rough delivery so some discomfort makes sense this first time as your body adjusts back to this. You know it takes a while for your body to get completely back to normal"

"I just don't think I realized how much so. I truly thought Granny was exaggerating" she said.

Neil sighed, "I should have warned you better to the possibility"

"No, I knew theoretically that this is normal, but I guess it's different to experience something"

"I can understand that" he nodded, "You were also anxious, which I know didn't help. We'll continue to figure this out together. Please don't be so embarrassed by it"

"I am completely so"

"I know you are and I wish you wouldn't be...it will be better for you next time and" Neil said, "you beating yourself up over something that you can't help is completely counterproductive and unnecessary and is making things so much worse"

She nodded, "I know that" the tears spilled over at his blunt words.

"Blast it, Adelaide. Don't cry" he entreated. "I didn't mean it to sound so harsh" He took a breath, trying to choose his words carefully, "None of this is your fault. I'm a doctor and I've been married before, I understand how these things work"

"I know you do"

They fell silent again before Neil sighed, "I'm no good at this"

"At what?" she asked, turning her head to finally look at him.

"Being understanding"

"Are you kidding me?" She swatted at her eyes, wiping the tears that falling rapidly, "I don't agree with that at all. You are the most understanding man I know"

"You are much too sweet to be married to me" Neil reached out to thumb the tears away. "I'm sorry it was painful for you"

"Please don't apologize, it definitely wasn't your fault"

"It wasn't your fault either, lass" he reached to touch the ends of her hair, before rubbing his hand soothingly across her cheek. "I just hate that I got pleasure at your expense"

"Oh, no, Neil" Adelaide looked at him. "I can't imagine anyone would be as kind or patient as you have been tonight. I'm so grateful it was you and not some man in Asheville. Now, that would have been truly horrid. This was just awkward- that's so much better than horrid" She paused as she heard the way her words sounded, "That sounds so much worse than I mean it to sound. I meant it as a compliment"

"No, I understand what you meant" Neil laughed under his breath."You are a gem, Adelaide MacNeill" he continued to rub her cheek.

"MacNeill" Adelaide gave him a small smile, "That's going to take some adjustment"

"It has a nice ring to it, don't ye think?"

"It does" she responded. She flinched as she heard hollering in the yard, a reminder that they were still not alone. "What do we do now?" she asked.

"They'll eventually leave" Neil told her.

"What about Simon?" she asked. "He'll need to eat again soon"

"I'll go down and get him in a few minutes" he responded, quietly. "I don't want to leave you until you feel more settled"

She nodded. "Neil, are you wondering if we made a mistake?" she asked, her voice low.

"No" Neil shook his head, swiftly. "The love making will get better, Adelaide, and it isn't what makes a marriage, you know that"

"Do we have the other things it takes to make a good marriage?" Adelaide asked, frowning.

"We may not at the moment, but I do believe that we do have the potential for a very happy marriage" Neil told her, honestly, "We are well suited for each other"

Adelaide made sure the sheet was covering her and then scooted over to rest her head on his chest, not knowing what to do at the moment, but wanting the comfort. The move surprised him, but he didn't show it, only reached to tenderly stroke her hair, breathing in her scent, his other arm around her waist, holding her close to him.

"We have to be patient with each other" Neil continued to talk to her, his voice low. "And talk through it. Even if we had been married for years, six weeks after you deliver, would most likely still be uncomfortable for you"

"We would have had the relationship though to weather it" she told him.

"We may be new at this marriage, but we have the friendship to sustain us as we figure out how to be married to each other"

"I know that"

"Then why are you so upset?"

He felt his chest becoming wet with her tears.

"I..." she swallowed hard. "I disappointed you and I hate that thought"

"No, lass. You have it all wrong" he told her, continuing to rub her back. "I'm not disappointed. On the contrary, I'm hopeful"

"Really?" she leaned up, surprised.

"Aye, absolutely" Neil retorted, wiping her tears with the pad of his thumb, "we do have passion between us, I saw that in the few moments where you were unguarded with me, which is a good thing"

"Was I unguarded with you?" she asked.

He chuckled, "I caught the way you looked at me as I undressed, lass. It wasn't an innocent look by far"

She blushed, causing him to grin, "I love it, Adelaide. It's how I want it to be between us. You just have to relax enough for us to explore all this openly and we'll get there"

"Do you really think?"

"Aye" he answered, firmly, "I know"

She dropped her head back down. "I think it was the people here" She whispered.

He nodded. "I should have offered to wait until they left"

"Why didn't you?" Adelaide asked, leaning up again to look at him, still holding the sheet against her.

"I was being completely selfish, Adelaide" Neil said, rubbing her hip. "You are attractive to me in so many ways"

Tears flooded her eyes again. Last night, after Neil left her, she thought of all the ways she was less desirable than when she married Simon...yet Neil was telling her that he found her desirable. How could he when she was so unlike herself these days?

He felt the tears on his chest as she laid her head back down.

"And I don't want you to be embarrassed by sex any longer. It's not a healthy way of thinking, Addie and I want the best for you"

She swallowed hard, "You can't rip off the bandage like that, Neil, without it being painful"

"I stand by what I said" Neil told her, "I want you to be one of us and these customs, they are sacred to us"

"I don't understand them"

"I understand that" Neil told her, twisting her hair, in his finger, "but you still need to respect them" he paused, "and if it wasn't the noise downstairs, it would be you worried about the lad. At least you didn't think of him, knowing Opal and Fairlight had him"

She nodded, "That is true"

As if on cue, a cry pierced the air from downstairs and Neil kissed her briefly before rolling over to find his pants and shirt, tugging them on and running a hand to try to tame his unruly hair.

"I'll get the babe and shoo the others away" He went over to the bureau to pour water into her glass, then into the basin and wet a washcloth. He walked back to the bed with all items in hand.

"If you are going to nurse the wee one, you should be drinking" he sat the glass on the table, along with the basin and washcloth.

She nodded, "Thank you"

"And I figured you want to wash up and the room is cold even with the fire" he winked at her. "Don't blush" he chuckled at her.

"Do you love teasing me so?" Adelaide asked.

"I'm trying to lighten the mood" Neil leaned down and picked up her nightgown for her, laying it on the bed.

She shook her head at him, but smiled.

He bent down for another kiss, before whispering in her ear, "You really are beautiful, woman"

He kissed down her neck and Simon's cries intensified. Neil grunted.

"I'm coming, lad"

"Get used to it, Neil" Adelaide smiled as he walked out the door, it clicking shut behind him.

Adelaide washed up before pulling the nightgown over her head and waited for him to come back. He came back a few more minutes later, the noise in the yard getting dimmer. He cradled the baby in his arms.

"I think he is hungry again. Fairlight said he was rooting downstairs, poor lad"

"I suspect so" She reached out for him. She unwrapped him from his blanket and covered him while he nursed.

"What did they say?" Adelaide asked.

Neil grinned at her, "It's not fit for your delicate ears"

"Oh my" she looked at Simon underneath his blanket. Neil reached over and moved the blanket, taking it off of her.

"Let the poor lad breathe, Adelaide" he told her. "You are smothering him"

Adelaide's face flamed. "Don't watch"

"Stop being so squirmy about it" Neil countered, not backing down. He draped the blanket over the baby's middle, tucking in his feet to keep him nice and warm, "I'm your husband and even if I wasn't, it's not shameful"

"I thought I was doing well to nurse him with the covering" she said, reaching to smooth the baby's hair as she nursed, "In Asheville, that would be completely taboo"

"That's not practical"

"Which is why I still nurse him in public" she said, "but I just can't do like the woman here do, Neil" She cringed at the thought, "I just can't"

"Well, you aren't in public. This is your home now, so you need to try to be more comfortable with this and with me. Keep the cover off if you are here with just you and me"

She swallowed hard, "I will"

He nodded. "Good"

She looked over at him, watching the babe feed. "Are you sure you want to keep Simon in here with us?"

"Aye" he nodded. "It's too cold in the lab for a wee one right now. Maybe in the summer we'll move him"

"But he's up a lot" she said.

"At six weeks, I'm not surprised" he told her. "You look completely shattered half the time"

"I don't want him to bother you" Adelaide said, softly. "I would feel terrible if he kept you from sleeping"

"He's no bother" he retorted.

"We'll see how you feel after tonight" Adelaide said, looking to him.

"I know he will be up tonight, Adelaide and truly, it's fine. He's my son now too"

Adelaide froze at his words. She knew Neil was fond of her son but he never openly acknowledged that he wanted to be his father. "Do you really feel that way?" Tears filled her eyes again, spilling over.

"I assumed you knew that, lass"

More tears fell. "Perhaps, I should have knowing you, Neil"

"This has been an emotional day for you, lass" Neil reached over to wipe them away.

"I'm sorry- nobody likes to take a weepy wife to their bed"

"Just hush" Neil told her, "I'd rather you get this emotion out then bottle it inside. And I do feel that way, Adelaide. I very much want to be Simon's Papa. Does that bother you?"

"Bother me?" She shook her head, swiftly, her lip trembling, "No, I just thought...I thought I would have to do this alone, Neil. Even if I had remarried someone in Asheville, I would have had to do this alone. It's been so hard these past few weeks"

"You've been so strong and brave this past year"

"I haven't truly" she sniffled, "I've agonized over everything. I just hide it deep inside me"

"I know" His heart tore for her. "You aren't alone any longer, sweet lass" he assured her. "Simon isn't a burden to me and he isn't just your son anymore. We are raising him together now. I want him as my son just as I want you as my wife"

She sniffled and he reached over to hand her a handkerchief. She dabbed her eyes and then twisted the handkerchief in her hands before saying, rather wryly, "Does that mean you'll change some diapers? You are so good at it. Much better than me."

"Calculated flattery, Adelaide?" Neil threw back his head and laughed.

"No" her eyes were wide, "it was meant with the utmost sincerity and respect, Doctor MacNeill" she said, with mock-seriousness. "So will you?"

"Occasionally, wife" he poked her side, "but only if you are sweet to me"

"For that, I'll be the sweetest wife ever" Adelaide said, solemnly, causing Neil to laugh even harder. She giggled too and in those moments with them in bed, she thought in spite of everything, things would work out just fine.

He reached out to stroke her cheek, "That's the laughter I love hearing from you, lass. Don't let it become muddled. The other things will work out between you and I with time"

"I'll try"

She stood and reached for a diaper to change Simon.

"Is the lad ready for bed?"

She nodded. "After I change him"

"How about you?"

"I'm actually exhausted" she said as she bent over to change Simon.

Neil rose too. "It's been a long day for you. I'm going to go check on the bonfire and make sure they put it out properly and we'll all have an early night"

"Good idea" she swaddled Simon, "I'm going to rock the baby to sleep and put him in his cradle. Thank you for bringing the rocker up here and making room for us"

"We'll make more room, lass" Neil said, "ye can't live out of your trunk. I cleared some space for you"

"That's thoughtful" she said, "Thank you"

"This is your home too" Neil told her, leaning down to kiss her head, "you might as well make yourself comfortable. Work on unpacking tomorrow though- you are too tired tonight"

He left her for a while- she getting Simon settled and then brushed her hair out again and braided it before going downstairs. Neil was in his lab and she went outside to use the outhouse. She went to check to make sure Simon as plenty warm and settled before looking to their bed. She assumed she should sleep on the side she naturally ended up on after their lovemaking, but she wasn't sure. It felt so strange that now she would be sharing space- a bed with another man.

She curled up under the heavy quilt, chilled from stepping out into the dark night and lost in her thoughts.

Neil came in a while later and climbed into bed, pulling the sheet up, but leaving the quilt down.

"Your feet are freezing, woman" he said. "You need socks"

"I'm under this heavy quilt" she protested.

"I don't know how ye possibly sleep under it" he said, "it's too hot with the fire"

"Really?" Adelaide turned on her side towards him. "I'm shivering here"

He turned on his side towards her. He reached out to feel her hands. "You are cold" he brought them to his mouth to blow on them gently, trying to warm them for her. "That's why you need socks"

"Too scratchy" Adelaide told him, scrunching up her nose.

"I see" Neil continued to warm her. "You do know it is the end of February. That's still wintertime on the mountain"

"Yes, I'm aware of the seasons, Neil" Adelaide retorted.

"Then, you really should know when you go outside at night, ye need to put a coat on, lassie" he told her, his voice playfully stern.

"Oh you noticed that?" Adelaide blushed. She hadn't thought he had been paying attention to what she was doing.

"Not even a robe?" Neil chided.

"I knew I wouldn't be out there for very long" she said.

"Did you put socks on at least? Tell me you did, Nurse Addie"

"No" she admitted, sheepishly.

"What am I to do with you?" He pulled her into his arms, "You are a mess, wife" he said as he rubbed her back, trying to let the heat of his body warm her. "Do ye make a habit out of that?"

"Sometimes" she admitted. "Now that it's a tad bit warmer"

He shook his head. "Coat from now on until the nights are actually warm and socks too. We can't have ye catching a cold even if I do enjoy the task of warming you up"

He said it with such tenderness that Adelaide wasn't the least offended about him bossing her around.

"It's the one thing that I miss about Asheville's pampered life" she admitted.

"That was probably quite the change" he told her.

"Was it ever" She giggled, "My mother doesn't think this, but I do have feminine sensibilities even if I do love helping you cut people open"

He chuckled, "I know you do. You are a good combination, Adelaide"

"Neil?" she buried her head in his chest.

"Aye?"

"Is this the right side of the bed to sleep on?" she asked, shyly. "I wasn't sure"

"It would have been fine if you chose the other side, but this is the side I prefer" he told her.

"It's been a while since I've shared a bed with anyone"

"I promise to try not to snore or kick you" he said, solemnly. "Or roll on top of you"

She giggled, "Thank you for that. I'll do the same"

"You can roll on top of me if ye like" Neil said, mischievously. "That would probably make my night, wife, but I can't promise my behavior after that will be conducive to you getting a good night's sleep"

"Oh my" she smiled in the moonlight at his teasing as she reached up to finger his stubble on his face. "We are really married, aren't we?"

"Unbelievable, isn't it lass?" Neil asked.

"It is. It was a really lovely day" she whispered. "I love the people here- everyone was so genuinely happy for us" her voice held a hint of longing.

"Adelaide" Neil's voice was tender, "Did you miss your family?"

"Yes"

"I'm sorry"

She shrugged, "I know this marriage wasn't like Christy's and David's and my marriage to Simon, but we are committed building a marriage and a family together and that should have been supported too"

"You are absolutely right, Adelaide" He said, his voice low, "I want you to know no matter how and why we got here, that you are my wife now. You and the lad are my family. I take my vows to you seriously. It's why I wanted you to wear my mother's ring. Let's work on building the best life we can together"

"I'd like that" she said and she relaxed in his embrace, surprised to find herself falling asleep against his warm body. She knew she should move, but sleep found her quickly and she found herself not wanting to move. Neil was so comforting to her and as for Neil, he wouldn't have moved her away from him for the world, especially as he stared at her peaceful face in the moonlight- her tension from earlier was completely erased-she now completely relaxed in his embrace.

* * *

"Come on, Simon" Adelaide jiggled him, "you just nursed. You should be nice and sleepy" She yawned, trying to wake herself up more. She was so exhausted tonight and Simon had been up twice already in the past five hours. The first time, he went back to sleep, but this last time, he was awake and fussing. She was having trouble thinking coherently at the moment as she walked into her trunk, stubbing her toe.

"Oh, ouch"

"Here" Neil rolled out of bed. He leaned over and lit the lamp, turning it down to low before he walked over to where she had sat down in the rocker. "What happened?"

"I'm fine, I just stubbed my toe on my trunk" Adelaide leaned her head, exhausted, closing her eyes, "I need to get my bearings better in the dark"

"Aye. Let me take the babe and rock him for you"

"What?" Adelaide startled, opening her eyes, but she couldn't see him in the dark room, "Why?"

"For one, I'm worried you'll drop the babe if you try to get up again" Neil said, reaching for Simon, settling in the crook of his arm, then helping her up off the rocker, "I'm not sure you are fully awake, lass and I'm sure the dark room doesn't help you wake up"

"I think I'm half asleep" Adelaide admitted as he guided her back to bed. "I usually just roll over and nurse him. Sometimes, I don't even remember fully waking up unless I turn on the lamp"

"That's frightening" Neil remarked. "He'll settle. He's just fighting sleep. Let me try and then I'm moving him beside me"

"Why?" Adelaide asked, climbing back in bed and pulling up the sheet.

"He knows you are there" Neil said, sitting in the rocker with the babe and holding the pacifier in the baby's mouth, rocking him. "I think he smells you"

"Are you saying I smell?" Adelaide mumbled, rolling over.

"Like milk, sweetheart" Neil chuckled.

"Hum?" She murmured, but she fell asleep almost right away.

Neil grinned and patted the babe, holding in his paci as Simon finally settled in and fell asleep. "That's a good lad" he kissed him tenderly before moving his cradle and putting him in, pulling the blanket over him. He turned out the lamp and then climbed in bed next to Adelaide, who immediately snuggled against him in her sleep. He may not be getting much sleep tonight, but he wouldn't have it any other way. He wrapped his arm around Adelaide before succumbing to sleep himself.

* * *

"Need some coffee?" Adelaide asked as she fixed pancakes on the stove.

"Aye" he yawned, "How have you done it on your own for the past six weeks, lass?"

She laughed, "Honestly, I have no idea. I feel so out of sorts and frumpy half the time. Life is going by as a blur these days"

"You don't look frumpy" Neil told her as he came around to put an arm around her waist.

She turned to him, "You are being generous, I'm sure"

"I'm not generous" Neil retorted, "I'm honest"

She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek, impulsively. "That's really sweet, Neil"

"I got a kiss too" he teased, "How about a proper kiss?"

"I thought that was proper" Adelaide's eyes sparkled.

Neil released to swat her playfully, causing her to squeal. "No, wife, it most certainly isn't between us now"

She smiled, "Very well" she leaned over and kissed him more deeply on the lips. "How's that?"

Neil rubbed his lips, absently, "Perfect"

Simon began to wail and Neil went to pick him up, "He likes his food, doesn't he?"

She nodded, "And to be held a lot. Opal taught me how to carry him in a wrap and that's been a lifesaver"

"You know you should let him cry some"

Adelaide turned to him, "He's still so young"

"Aye, but soon"

"I suppose" she let out her breath and then put the plates on the table. "Here let me hold him while we eat"

Neil transferred the baby to Adelaide and he immediately snuggled against her.

She reached for her water and took a sip.

"Here, lass" Neil reached for her plate and the knife and fork, cutting it up for her. "Might as well make this easier for you"

She smiled, "Marriage comes with its perks"

He chuckled, "It does indeed"

They ate a leisurely breakfast, drinking coffee before they headed upstairs. Neil lounged on the bed, Simon laying next to him, cooing up at him as Adelaide opened her trunk and began to pull out her clothing, which was surprisingly sparse.

"Where are all your things, lass?" he asked, curiously.

"Still in Asheville" she murmured. "I still own the house"

"There are quite a bit of things left in Asheville then" he commented, offering Simon his pinky.

She stood as she transferred some her things to the dresser. "Yes" she said, focusing on her task.

"Anything you want to bring out here?" he asked, casually.

"Eventually, maybe" she told him, continuing to sort through her trunk.

"Do you need more clothes?" he inquired.

"I have so many clothes, you know that" Adelaide said, her face flushing, not wanting to quite admit that she didn't fit into most of her clothes. "It's a bit shameful my wardrobe. I want to be respectful to where we are living"

"Of course" he nodded. He suspected the truth was that Adelaide still couldn't fit into most of her clothes, but he would never outright ask her, wanting to tread carefully with his new wife's feelings, "It just looks like you don't have much"

"I think mother is sending back with Christy a few dresses she has gotten let out- it should be enough for now" she said.

"You will tell me if you need something"

"Of course" Adelaide nodded.

Neil rubbed Simon's cheek and then hopped off the bed to kneel beside her. "Let me help"

"Alright"

She tried not to blush as he pulled out her folded undergarments and placed them in the drawer. He reached back into the trunk his hand resting on her corset.

"Are you planning on wearing these again?"

"Yes" she told him. "Actually, I'm going to start soon now that I'm feeling better"

"Women in the Cove usually don't"

She nodded, "I know. Do you disapprove?"

He laid her corset in the drawer. "If I said I did?"

"I would wear it anyway" Adelaide told him.

"I see" Neil cleared his throat. "You and I are going to have it out one day, Adelaide" he said, matter-of-factually. "Did Simon put up with this?"

She grinned, "Yes, he did"

"You married a far more stubborn man this time around"

She reached out to touch his hand, "But not a worse one"

Neil leaned over and kissed her before reaching back into the trunk.

"You can't tell me that Margaret didn't wear corsets" Adelaide said, her voice light.

"She did" Neil replied, evenly, "but you are far less vain than she was"

Adelaide laughed, "Oh, Neil, it's not vanity. It is simply fashion. Dresses are made to be worn with a corset"

"Not all dresses are" Neil countered.

"That's is true" Adelaide acknowledged, focusing on folding her blouses, "but most of my dresses are made that way and I happen to like my dresses"

Neil rolled his eyes. "It's so foolish. You are a nurse" Neil told her, "you should know better"

She turned to him and paused from her task, "If you married my sister, I doubt you would have made her feel guilty for continuing to wear her corset. You would have just thought she looked pretty in her dresses- telling her how beautiful she is"

"Did I marry your sister?" Neil asked, quietly, becoming serious as he reached to pull out the babies clothes from her trunk, refolding them.

Adelaide froze, realizing her blunder. She looked down. "Of course not, but still, you have to admit it is true" her face flushed.

He cleared his throat, "Let's not talk in hypotheticals, Adelaide"

She sneaked a peak at him, but his expression was giving nothing away.

"Of course" she said, smoothly.

"Do you have enough clothes for the babe?" he asked, changing the subject.

"For now" Adelaide nodded. "We'll see when he grows"

"Let me know what you need when you need it" he told her, folding Simon's cloths for his diapers and piling everything together.

"I can..."

"Adelaide" Neil reached out a hand to touch her lightly, stopping her. "You and Simon are my responsibility now. Tell me what you need and I'll make it work"

"But you need so much for your patients" Adelaide countered. "I can't take away from that"

Neil hopped up to go to the dresser and place Simon's clothes in it for her. He didn't speak until he was done with his task and he came back to sit beside her. Adelaide studied him, wondering if she misspoke again.

"Your heart is big, Adelaide, but a man needs to feel like he is providing for his family" Neil said, quietly. "I feel strongly about it, but even if I didn't, the Cove wouldn't like me shirking on my responsibility to you and the lad- they would take great offense to it even if you do have more money than I could possibly ever have"

"Does that bother you?" Adelaide asked, reaching in the trunk for her books.

"No, save it for the lad. He'll have a nice inheritance to start out his family one day" Neil told her.

"But what if we get into financial difficulty?" Adelaide said, pulling out some more books and placing them on her lap, "Surely then..."

"I'm not going to be beholding to you..."

"Oh for goodness sakes" Adelaide titled her head, "that makes as much as sense as probably me wearing a corset does to you"

Neil laughed loudly, "There's that spunk I adore"

She grinned, "you adore my spunk?"

"In small doses, lass" Neil grinned at her. "What do you have there?"

She handed him a book, "Do you like Shakespeare?"

"You are assuming I've read Shakespeare"

Her eyes sparkled, "of course, Doctor. You went to that fancy boy's school and then college. You had to have read Shakespeare"

"True" Neil smiled, "It's tolerable"

She grinned. "_Hamlet_ is my favorite"

He snorted, "A little twisted, Addie"

"Indeed"

"You surprise me" he commented, putting the book in an empty drawer. "I would think you would more love _Romeo and Juliet_"

"It's certainly not that great love story every one puts it out to be" Adelaide retorted.

"And what would a great love story look like?" Neil asked, quietly.

She paused, thinking it over. "Growing old together, laughing and rocking on the porch, with a bushel of grandchildren running around..." she chewed on her lip, "and still remaining each other's best friend"

"I see" Neil responded. He didn't say more, but he was taking note, trying to figure out the way his new wife's heart worked. He wanted to press her further, but refrained, instead asking. "How many books do you have?"

"A few here" Adelaide said as she pulled more out. "And a whole lot more in Asheville"

"I'll build you a bookshelf and we'll bring your books out here"

"I'd like that" she said, quietly, "That's thoughtful...Oh, cookbooks" she sighed. "Cooking seems like a monumental task ahead of me"

Neil leaned over and put his hand on her face, "Ye can do anything ye set your mind to, Adelaide"

"If it had anything to do with medicine, I'd agree" Adelaide said, "but this domestic life? That's a whole other story"

"I'd wager by the fall, you'll be a pro"

"And until then?"

"We'll endure a lot of burnt meals"

Adelaide smacked him playfully with the book, "I see"

"I like burnt food, Adelaide" Neil said, with equal playfulness.

She reached to swat at him, but he grabbed her arm, holding her still. She tried to wrestle out of his grasp, but ended up toppling over on the floor with her on top of him.

"Oh" she stopped fighting, "hi, Neil"

"Adelaide" his voice deepened, "I warned you just last night about the dangers of this"

She swallowed hard, "That you did"

He held her against him, his arm across her back, pinning her down and she wiggled her hips try to get free.

"That's not making your case for release" he told her. "In fact, quite the opposite, wife"

She stilled immediately. "I'm sorry for hitting you with a book" she tried to forge contriteness.

"Are you?" he asked, his eyes darkening.

"Not really" Adelaide giggled and Neil rolled over with her so he was now on top, kissing her.

"Neil" Adelaide sighed, "Simon is awake on the bed"

"He is a wee one. He doesn't know what is happening"

"But I do" Adelaide countered.

"Okay, when does he sleep?"

"Soon"

He got off of her and helped her sit up, "Where were we?"

"You know" Adelaide's voice was quiet, "I really don't remember"

"Me either, lass"

* * *

"Do you have some paper, Neil?" Adelaide asked after she put Simon in for a nap. "I want to write to one of my friends in Asheville"

"There's some in the lab" he said, not looking up from his reading, "you can look around"

"Thank you"

"Not a problem"

She went into the lab and began to scrounge around for some paper- careful not to mess with Neil's organization. It was while she was there that she found Margaret's art supplies and drawings.

Adelaide looked through each one, fascinated. She knew she should have put them away, but it almost as if she was drawn to them. She had always had a curiosity about Neil's first wife. She studied each one intently.

"What are you doing?" he stood at the doorway, watching her enraptured face.

She looked up, "I'm sorry" she said, quickly. "I just found these and I was curious, so I..." she frowned, "I shouldn't have pulled them out. I didn't mean to pry" she said, her face flushing.

"No apology needed" He told her and went to sit on the bed. "You can look through them if you want"

"Was Margaret an artist?" she asked, taking them to sit on the bed next to him, still looking through the paintings.

"Aye"

"She was so talented" she said, softly, "these are beautiful"

"She was talented" Neil acknowledged, "creative and passionate"

"Did you and her meet in Philadelphia?" Adelaide asked.

"We did" Neil said, "She was actually painting when I saw her"

"Was it love at first sight?" Adelaide asked, curiously.

He paused, studying her face, "Ye want to know about my relationship with Margaret, lass?"

"If you are willing to tell me" she retorted, softly, "you know a lot about Simon and I"

"That's fair" Neil acknowledged, "and to answer your question yes, I fear I got swept up by her charms"

"That's quite romantic" she said, still looking through the pictures. "This is one of you"

"Aye, she insisted" Neil said, "she mainly sketched flowers and landscapes, but at times she wanted to extend to portraits"

"It's quite the likeness" She continued to examine them. "Why are there none of the Great Smokies? I would think that she would find the mountains quite inspiring"

"More constricting I think" he retorted, "Or maybe just the company"

"I doubt that" Adelaide said, softly.

"She rarely painted after we got married" Neil said.

"She probably just was lonely" Adelaide suggested, "Regardless, they are lovely"

"Aye, they are" he agreed. "She had a talent for it"

"She did" Adelaide smiled at him. "I'm sorry again I let my curiosity get the better of me"

"Happens to the best of us" Neil smiled back at her. "I should really give those to Alice anyway and her dresses"

"Don't feel like you have to do that on my account" Adelaide said, quickly.

"It's long past time" Neil told her. "And you parted with Simon's clothes"

"It isn't tit for tat" Adelaide countered, "And well, I still have so many things in Asheville, so if it was, you are far ahead of me in moving on"

"I've had longer" he responded, his voice low.

"Neil" Adelaide shifted, "please don't give away her things if you aren't ready, especially these drawings. They really are a special memory for you...a happy memory of your life with her"

"Thank you for that" Neil said, "I'll think on it. It would be special for Alice to have those too"

"It would, especially considering how good they are" she mused, "I wish I had more creativity. Christy sketches. I was always jealous of her gifts"

"You are gifted too" Neil said, reaching out to take the paintings from her hand. He stood, putting it away again with the paints, "Only in more intellectual, rational way"

Adelaide laughed, "That makes me sound studious and boring, Doctor MacNeill"

"No" Neil shook his head, "I don't think so at all"

"Sometimes I wish I was more glamorous and mysterious- the type that capture men by my charms" she murmured. "Like Margaret or Christy"

"I'm pretty sure Simon was swept away by your charms, don't ye think?" Neil told her.

"Yes, but in a different way" she replied.

Neil reached down and grabbed her by the waist, plopping her on his lap. "It's fleeting, wife" he told her, seriously.

"Still..." she paused as Neil kissed her, passionately. She moaned as he continued to kiss her and run his hands up and down her back. He pulled away and kissed her forehead. She pulled herself further away, "Simon is upstairs"

"We will get nice and cozy on the bed down here" Neil said, pulling her back to him.

"I don't think your patient bed is for our love making"

"It's my bed...I can do what I want with it"

"But then I'd have to change the sheets" Adelaide sighed.

"So romantic, Mrs. MacNeill" he kissed her, deeper, refusing to let her stifle his drive.

She pulled away again, "but what if Simon wakes up?"

"He'll be fine for a bit" Neil said. "it's not like he can go anywhere"

"But what if your patients call? It's the middle of the morning"

He pulled away. "They could call just as likely at night as well...and they'll leave us be for a few days unless it is an emergency"

"Okay" she sighed.

"Adelaide" Neil chided, "Come now. Are you out of excuses?"

She shifted, "I'm sorry"

His arms came back around her, enveloping her in his warmth, "Are you scared because it was painful last time?"

"Yes"

"You have to jump right back in, Addie" he told her, brushing her hair away, "otherwise, you'll spook yourself. We'll take it slower and I'll be gentle with you, I promise. I think it will be better this time"

"I know you will be and you are probably right" She looked up at him, "it's just I feel completely unsure of myself with you in this way"

"I know, you being comfortable as my wife, especially in this way, will take time. You'll find that comfort with me, I promise. And I'll work to find ways to make you more at ease"

"Okay" she nodded. "Shut the door at least, Neil"

He slid her off of his lap and she stood as he went over and commandingly shut the door and then walked back over to her, kissing her soundly. "You are wearing much too many clothes, Mrs. MacNeill"

Adelaide grinned, "Really, Doctor MacNeill? Considering it is morning, I think this is the proper amount of clothes to wear unless you are a child and even then it would be considered unseemly in certain places" she teased.

"You are a cheeky one at times" he laughed, appreciatively. "I see marriage is going to bring out the best in you in that regards"

She squealed as he scooped her up and plopped her up on the bed and began to undress her, confidently and with determination.

Much later, they were squeezed onto the bed in the lab, his arms around her. She sighed and turned around, facing away from him. It was still undeniably awkward between them and the hardest thing about it is that she knew the blame was on her shoulders. Neil was kind and understanding, she couldn't fault him on anything, yet she still knew that this aspect of their marriage clearly wasn't going well.

"Are you alright?" he asked in her ear.

"Yes" she responded as he rubbed his hand on her hip, trying to comfort her.

"You do know that you are your own worst enemy when it comes to love makin" he told her, honestly.

"I do know that" Adelaide said, softly. "Don't make me feel worse than I do at this moment"

"No, I won't" he said, squeezing her, "I just want you to enjoy it, Adelaide"

"I don't need to" she said, dismissively.

"Don't do that" he smacked her hip, "It's easier for you to dismiss the notion, but I'm serious here"

"I wasn't trying to" she sighed, "I was just saying me enjoying this isn't really necessary for me to feel happy in our marriage"

He kissed her neck. "That's silly logic. A lot of things aren't necessary to feel happiness, but a lot of things are meant to enhance your happiness. Technically speaking you don't have to, but _I_ want you to have that pleasure"

"Why?" her voice was curious.

"Why not?" Neil asked. "I care for you, Adelaide, and I want you to get the most out of our love making. It's meant for enjoyment. I want that for you"

She bit her lip, "I'm...I'm not sure that's possible for me right now"

"Don't defeat yourself- otherwise you never will"

"I'll try" she said.

"That means you have to relax when I touch you" Neil told her honestly. "You tense up. It was worse today than it was yesterday if that is possible"

"Thanks for the assessment" Adelaide said, dryly.

"Hey" Neil turned her gently around in his arms. "I'm sorry if that was too blunt, lass."

"No, Neil, really, it's fine" she said, quietly. "I'm not offended. You are absolutely correct"

He put a finger underneath her chin, tipping it up. He looked at her intently, searching her. "You do know that me touching you is not wrong"

She looked him in the eyes, "It doesn't quite feel right yet" her voice trembled. "It just feels like we are doing something wrong"

"Can you tell me why?" he asked.

"I don't know" She breathed against him. But truth be told, she was afraid to admit the real reason why it felt wrong- _Simon_. She laid her head down, burying it in his chest. "Can we not talk about this?"

"You should know the answer to that" Neil said. "When do I ever let you get away with the easy thing?"

"Never" she sighed. "You are entirely annoying"

He chuckled. "You are such a sweet thing most days"

"I'm sorry"

"I don't want your apologies, sweetheart, I just want to understand you better" he told her. "Where is this coming from?"

"What?"

"This shyness and hesitation... Is it just a product of the way you were raised?" he asked, bluntly. She raised her head.

"I told you before my mother wouldn't talk to me about it before Simon and I married"

"I remember"

"After Simon and I were married, I tried to talk to her about it again and it didn't go so well. I told her that I had no one else to talk to, but that didn't matter"

"What did she say to you?" he asked, rubbing her back, his hands tender.

"To again trust Simon, but that sex is more for the man anyway. Endure it to get babies and please your husband, but beyond that, there isn't much to say"

"That's just wrong" he was aghast. "Adelaide, I'm sorry, sweetheart"

She shrugged. "Simon and I worked it out anyway"

"What did Simon say?"

"You know...I never did tell him about that" Adelaide sighed.

"Really?"

"Yes" She said, softly. "It would have just made him angry at my mother. Things were tense sometimes between Simon and my family"

"I picked up on some of that" Neil said.

"Yes" she snuggled into his chest. "So, to answer your question, maybe partly... I do get inside my head and let the way I was raised effect me at times. I know it's just something I need to work on. Us making love has brought up a lot of things for me actually that I'm trying to sort through" She fell quiet for a few moments, before adding, softly, "I didn't realize I would react this way. I'm sorry"

"What are you sorting through, lass?" he asked as she laid her head on his chest, listening to his heart beat. "Why don't you talk to me like we always do? Maybe I can help you with it..."

She pulled away, "I wish you could..."

He twisted a strand of hair, "Try me"

"I feel things with you...or I think I could perhaps feel things"

"That's a good thing, Addie" Neil said.

"I'm not sure..." she paused.

"Why not?" he questioned. "We are married"

"It just seems strange that ten minutes and a license can change so much"

"And yet it does. What are you thinking?"

"I..." Adelaide struggled, "our feelings...I just wish" she stopped herself from saying what she wished. She wished they had married when they were in love...she wished they had feelings for each other and that their intimacy had that love behind it- that it just wasn't physical. And that desire seemed at odds to her mourning her husband.

"What is it, sweetheart?" he studied her, in his analytical way, trying to figure out what she was struggling with.

"I..." she started to respond when they were interrupted by a loud wail, "Oh no"

"Perfect timing that lad" He chuckled "No lazy honeymoon days for us, wife"

She sighed, "No indeed- between your job and my son, it was never destined to be" She began to pull on her clothes, when Neil turned her back towards him,

"We'll finish this conversation soon"

"That's not necessary" she said, almost shyly as she buttoned her dress.

"It most certainly is" he responded, but in spite of that promise, it was a few days before they came back to the topic.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: **A new chapter for you all. Working on the latest chapter of LUJ. It's coming, but slowly. I'm not giving up on either story though. Thank you SO much for all of you who take the time to encourage me to continue writing! I'm glad there are people out there enjoying these different takes on _Christy_.

**Chapter 7**:

"Ahhh" Adelaide felt like she could cry as she retrieved the burnt supper from the stove. She had been in the middle of feeding Simon when she smelled the smoke. Now, she had a screaming babe _and_ a ruined supper.

"This stove will not defeat me. It won't. I refuse to let it" she said, gripping the pan of charred remains with a towel and placing it on top of the stove as Neil walked in the door.

"Talking to yourself is never a good sign" Neil laughed at her.

She turned towards him, trying to fan out the smoke with the towel so she could see him.

"Don't burn my cabin down, Adelaide" he told her, dryly.

"This is not the time for teasing, Doctor MacNeill" she told him as she picked up the pan again and walked past him and chucked the burnt remnants into the yard.

She came back to Neil trying to soothe a fussy Simon. "What's wrong with him?" he asked her, patting the baby's back firmly as he walked around the room with him.

"I stopped feeding him when I smelled smoke"

"Ah" he said, "no wonder the poor lad is so disgruntled"

"_I'm_ disgruntled" she said, "What does he have to complain about? His food isn't ruined"

Neil shifted Simon, who was gnawing at his shoulder. "Maybe it is" he eyed her shirt, which was seeping through from stopping nursing midway through.

She looked to where he was staring.

"I hate being a woman. Hate it!" she cried.

"Sweetheart" Neil tried to fight a chuckle.

"I can't even stop feeding Simon for a minute without having to change my shirt. How am I supposed to help you with surgeries?"

"You'll take a break to feed the babe if you are feeling too full"

"Oh, it just sounds so simple, doesn't it? So easy for you to say" Adelaide retorted, "Now, give me back my son, please"

"Here you are" Neil handed the baby over quickly. His wife was in a mood and Adelaide was a force to be reckoned with at times. He wasn't afraid of her temper by any means and in a head to head of tempers, his was by far the stronger, but at the same time, he didn't wish to incite her unnecessarily.

Adelaide settled back on the couch and Simon quickly resumed nursing.

Neil eyed her carefully.

Adelaide looked at him, sharply, "Yes?"

Neil chuckled at the look she was giving him- it could have frozen water. "Ye are in a fine mood today, lass" he told her. "What is it?"

Her shoulders slumped forward as she relaxed. Neil, sensing an opening, came and sat next to her, putting his arm around her shoulders while she nursed the baby.

"I wanted to have supper ready for you when you got back from your visit and now it is just a disaster"

"It's alright" he said, "Let me show you the trick of the stove again when you are done with the lad"

"You aren't frustrated with me?" she asked.

He shook his head, "Why would I be frustrated, lass? I knew you were a terrible cook when I married you"

"Oh, thanks" she said, but managed to crack a smile.

"There is that smile" he told her as he squeezed the back of her neck, "Lighten up, Adelaide, it isn't the end of the world, woman"

"I'm trying" she said.

"Stop being a perfectionist" Neil advised. "I don't expect it"

"You do when I am your nurse"

"Hum" Neil kissed the side of her head, "It's different. People's lives are at stake and I know you are trained well and capable. You gave me fair warning about this though"

"I did" Adelaide sighed, "I hate not being good at something" She didn't say what else she was hated not being good at- best not go there unnecessarily.

"I know" Neil smiled. "It will come, sweetheart. Patience and persistence. You can do this"

Simon finished feeding and she put him in his cradle and ran upstairs to change her shirt. She came back downstairs and stood beside Neil as he walked her through using the stove again.

"It is tricky especially if you are used to those fancy stoves in Asheville" Neil said as Adelaide cooked them some eggs.

"I burnt our food in Asheville all the time too" Adelaide admitted. "Poor Simon"

Neil smiled, "I venture to say he didn't mind too badly"

She grinned, "He had his moments"

"What did he say?"

"About how I'm stubborn and we should have hired a cook so we could have a decent meal- it was as close as we came to having a fight"

"Well now" Neil poked at her side, "The stubborn part is entirely correct, but I think that tenacity will serve you well, Addie"

"I hope so" Adelaide said, "I also hope we aren't wasting too much money"

Neil wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close to him, "We are fine, sweetheart. Just try to get the hang of it sooner rather than later"

"I'll try"

"What did you do today while I was gone?" he asked. "I'm sorry about that by the way"

"No, it's okay" she said, "I understand what it is to be married to a doctor"

"So what did you do?" he asked as she plated their food.

"Simon and I went to the ladies sewing circle. Miss Alice was gone, but they still had it at the mission"

"I'm surprised you did that" Neil said, looking intently at Adelaide's flushed face. Something in her tone and the way her color heightened made him wonder exactly what happened at that sewing circle. The ladies could be quite the gossips and while usually Adelaide didn't take things like that to heart, she was extra sensitive these days with the changes of the new baby and their sudden marriage.

"I enjoy the ladies of the Cove" she said as Simon began to fuss again. She sighed and went over to pick him up, cradling him in her arm as she ate.

"Did you have a good time?" Neil asked.

"I did" Adelaide nodded. "Fairlight was there and Lizzie was there with the new baby"

"Good, Lizzie is an especially sweet one. You might want to think on a visit once we are settled in. She would love that. They are our nearest neighbors"

"I would like to get to know her better as well especially since our little ones are so close in age" Adelaide said, "And I think I might want to go for a quick visit with Opal tomorrow, if you don't mind. I know we are honeymooning or supposed to be, but I really want to see her. She wasn't there today."

"I don't mind" Neil said, easily. "I have plenty of work to do here if I don't get called away again"

"Good" she nodded.

After supper, she gave Simon a bath and fed him again, tucking him in. Neil was sitting on the couch, updating his medical records when she came downstairs. He patted the seat next to him, laying his work aside.

"How's the lad?" he asked, as he nuzzled into her neck.

"Sound asleep"

"Good" Neil said and began to kiss her. She frowned.

"Neil" she said and she tried to scoot away.

"What is it?" he asked, looking at her, surprised. While things still felt forced and awkward between them, Adelaide didn't outright push him away like that.

"I just think" Adelaide paused, "maybe...if we...not force the issue between us, things would be better"

"What does that mean?" he asked, incredulously.

"I need a break" she told him, honestly, "Can we just be ourselves tonight without the pressure of we should have sex because we are married?"

"I like having sex" Neil retorted evenly, "It's not a matter of should for me"

"That's not what I meant" she said, quietly.

"What do you mean then?"

"I just..." her voice trailed off as she shifted, uncomfortable.

"Is it a duty for you?" he asked, his voice low, "be honest with me"

"Yes" Adelaide said, softly. "especially with how awkward it is between us. Maybe I'm not ready. Maybe it's been too soon since the baby"

"Physically speaking, I don't think that is the case" Neil said.

"Emotionally then" she countered.

"You could have said no to begin with" he told her, quietly. "I would have still married you"

"I know"

"What changed?" he asked. "Something has changed to have you retreating like this"

She looked down at her hands.

"Did something happen today to make you uncomfortable?" he pressed. "You were such in a poor mood when I came home which really is unlike you"

She continued to study her hands, "I'm tired of trying to be someone I'm not and then feeling guilty when I'm not that person"

"Nobody is asking you to be anybody but yourself" Neil looked at her, in disbelief.

"But you are..." she bit her lip.

"No" Neil shook his head, swiftly. His voice was firm, "That's simply not the case. I've never asked you to hide what you are thinking or feeling or to be anything but genuine with me. You know that is true"

"I feel pressure to make love to you" Adelaide said, quietly. "in a way that pleases you"

"Hum" Neil reached for her hand, "If you feel that pressure, it's what you are putting on yourself, lass..."

"But you expect me to be your wife in this way" Adelaide pointed out.

"I want you to try" Neil said, applying a gentle pressure to her hand. "to give intimacy between us a chance to get better"

"But why can't we just let it go" Adelaide said, quietly. "Why do you even want it?"

Neil struggled to keep his tone patient, "Adelaide, you have been married before. You aren't totally unaware of why I would want intimacy with my wife."

"Yes of course" Adelaide said, "but..." she paused, not being able to formulate an excuse that seemed reasonable.

"And you yourself said that eventually you would like to have more children"

"I'm not saying never" Adelaide said.

"Then what are you saying?"

"I don't know" She gently tugged her hand away from his, "I just can't do this with you tonight, please don't ask me to"

His hand brushed across her cheek, "Are you really that stressed when you think of it?"

"Yes, more so now than ever"

"Why?"

"I don't want to talk about it"

"Adelaide, be fair"

"Just a few days for me to get my head around it again"

He studied her, keenly aware the anxiety that she didn't bother to hide. He knew if he pressed her further, it would be a disaster. "Do you really think time will help you?"

"Maybe" she responded, "Please, Neil. I'm telling you that I need this"

He let out a long breath. "That's fine, Addie" he stood and gathered the papers he had set aside. "I'm going to try to finish some work"

"Neil" Adelaide's voice broke.

"It's okay, sweetheart. I'll see you in the morning" He leaned over to kiss her head and then walked into the lab, shutting the door behind him.

* * *

He came to bed much later that night and Adelaide rolled over to snuggle into him. "I'm sorry if you are upset with me" Her voice cracked. "I don't want you to be"

He sighed when he heard her distress and put his arm around her, pulling her close. "I'm not upset with you, lass"

"You seemed like you were"

"I was a little frustrated, but that was to be expected"

"Yes, of course" she acknowledged.

"I'll give you time if that is what you need- but not endless amounts. We will talk about this soon"

"Okay" she bit her lip.

"More than just the love making, it's the other things you said, Adelaide" Neil told her, "I needed to think. I'm sorry I withdrew too"

"It's alright" Adelaide said, "I understand"

"You do know that you aren't alone anymore- the things you are thinking and feeling, I want you to share with me"

"I know" she whispered.

"I want us to hash this out completely" Neil said, "You will do that with me, yes?"

"Alright"

"And tell me what happened to make you so anxious all the sudden?"

"Eventually"

"So there is something?"

"Maybe"

"I thought so" Neil said. "From the sewing circle?"

"Yes"

"Do you want to tell me what was said that has you all worked up?"

She buried her head against his side. "No, I really don't"

"When you are ready then" Neil squeezed her, "Now, go to sleep. The lad will be up soon"

She began to pull away, but he trapped her against him. "You are shivering. Are you cold?"

"Yes" she said.

"I think you need to start wearing flannel to bed. This cotton is much too light for the nights here. We are living on the mountain, not the level lands, woman" he teased.

She laughed at him, the sound lighting their mood and restoring peace between them.

"Do you not have the thicker nightgowns?" he asked her, holding her tightly against his side, trying to show her his acceptance of the situation.

"I had the flannel nightgowns made when I was expecting the baby and obviously they are swimming now, and mother brought me my other clothes appropriate for Cove life, but I can't quite fit into most of them. I figured out how to make it work for my day clothes and mother is sending back those dresses, but at night, I just wore my maternity clothes, but since we married, the thought made me feel" she paused and groaned, "well, I'm sure you can deduce..."

"Is it those feminine sensibilities coming in?" Neil chuckled.

"Something like that" she mumbled.

"For tonight, stay close to me until you fall asleep and we'll figure something out for you" he told her.

"We don't have to- the nights are getting warmer"

"We'll have weeks of this cooler weather at nights, lass" he told her, quietly, "and I want to make sure you are comfortable. Allow me to be your husband in this way at least, please"

"Of course" Adelaide responded, "I'm sorry- I just don't want to be a burden for you"

"You are no such thing, sweetheart" he told her, adamantly, "I'm glad you are my wife"

"Even after tonight?"

"Aye" he reassured her, rubbing his hand down her side, "Do you think the lad is warm enough?"

"He's closer to the fire and has his blankets" she said, "he should be fine"

"Good" he leaned over to kiss her head, "Night, Addie"

"Goodnight Neil"

They were silent for a few minutes, Adelaide relaxing against his warm side, "Neil?"

"Aye, lass?"

"Thank you for everything you are doing for me"

He rolled over to his side and put both arms around her, allowing her to rest her head against his chest. "It really is a pleasure, lass"

"Goodnight, Neil"

"Goodnight, Adelaide"

* * *

"I'm right surprised to see ye, Miz Addie" Opal said, stepping out on the porch. "Come sit a spell. Do ye want anything to drink?" she paused at Adelaide's white face. "What it is, Adelaide?"

"Opal, I'm so out of sorts" Adelaide confessed. "I should have never married the Doc. I'm not ready to do this again with anybody" she blurted out.

"Now just sit down here and tell me what is going on" Opal said, having a seat on the porch and patting the spot next to her. "Here let me take the babe" she took Simon in her arms, adjusting his blanket and snuggling him against her, patting his back, him settling for her, ready to fall asleep.

Adelaide sat down next to her, "I don't know where to begin"

"Is he being a bear?"

"No" Adelaide shook her head, "quite the opposite. He is so sweet to me, but my cooking is a disaster and...other things are a disaster as well"

"Other things?" Opal pondered it. "The love making?"

"I don't know what to do" Adelaide's face flushed. "It's just completely uncomfortable"

"Does it hurt?"

She nodded and Opal leaned over to pat her arm, "That will get better with time" she assured her, "Just try to relax with the Doc and let him help you with it"

"I know" she sighed, "it's just...making love to Neil is so different than Simon"

"I suspect it would be" Opal said, not mincing words, "ye marriage to the Doc is different- ye married him for different reasons than ye married Doc Simon"

She nodded, "he doesn't understand" she juggled Simon.

"He's a man- love makin' is different for them" Opal said. "It be more physical for them where for us, our heart be wrapped up in it"

"It bothers me that it isn't what he is used to" Adelaide confessed, "It bothers me a whole lot"

"What do ye mean?" Opal frowned.

"The ladies just indicated at the sewing circle that passion between Margaret and Neil characterized their marriage and it's missing in ours. If that is what he had with her and that's what made him happy with her, there is no way he could possibly be happy with me"

"Because ye knew that Doc was so passionate with Miss Margaret?"

She nodded, "He loved her so intensely, Opal. The good and the bad and all that passion, we'll never have that type of love"

"You don't know that" Opal said. "If you open your heart up..."

"But to open my heart up so soon, only to be rejected..."

"Rejected?" Opal raised her eyebrows in surprise.

"Yes" she nodded, solemnly, "he loves my sister and when looking at his two great loves, how can I compare with either of them?"

"Now ye can't think like that. Ye don't have to compare with anyone. Doc married you..."

"Because the Cove pressured him into it" her lip trembled, "not for any other reason"

"Give Doc a chance" Opal advised. "I honestly don't think he compares you with either of them"

"I hope you are right" Adelaide said, gloomily. "Truth is, even if he did care for me, I don't know if _I'm_ ready to care for someone again. I love Simon still. I can't give that up"

"But ye wouldn't have to give it up" Opal said, "Just make room for the Doc. What does he say to all of this?"

"Do you think I can tell him this?" Adelaide shook her head, "Never, it's so embarrassing"

"I think if you want to have any sort of marriage, you'll share your fears with him" Opal said, "There be no shame in what ye are feeling. But just remember, the Doc and Miz Margaret had passion, but there be a lot of wounds from that marriage as well. And if the love making be bad, keep practicing until ye get it right. I'm sure the Doc is up for the challenge" Opal said, with a twinkle in her eyes, "I think if you let him he can bring the passion right out of you"

"How do you know?"

Opal smiled, "I've witnessed moments between the two of you. There be a spark there, Adelaide. Kindle it. Ye won't regret it. Them mountain men know how to romance their wives"

"But do you think it is wrong to enjoy it so when neither of us have feelings?"

"Ask the Doc and see what he says" Opal advised.

Adelaide sighed, "But then that will lead to a lecture"

"Maybe so" Opal chuckled. "Doc be a know it all at times"

Adelaide laughed then as well. "Yes, he is that"

They fell quiet, before Adelaide said, "I like him Opal"

"I know you do" Opal said. "And there be no shame in that either. Talk to the Doc soon, Adelaide. No sense fretting over things that the Doc be able to help you with"

"I'll try' Adelaide promised, but knew in her heart that it would be a few days before she could gather up the courage to confess all the ways she was struggling with him.

* * *

Neil was not there when she returned and eyed the large pile of laundry that had accumulated over the course of the week. She should have done some days ago.

Placing Simon down in his cradle for a nap she reached for the bucket to go down to the creek and begin to haul water, taking several trips filling the pots on the stove to boil the water.

She had never done laundry before. She had to admit that all of her life she had been absolutely spoiled by sending their laundry out or having a housekeeper do it. Even at the mission, Ruby Mae shooed her away from the laundry pail, pronouncing that it was earning her keep. When she got engaged to Neil, Adelaide took Ruby Mae aside and asked her to show her how it all worked, but even then, Ruby Mae insisted on doing the clothes and she just watched. She added the soda crystals, thankful that Neil was away, giving her privacy to figure this all out on her own.

She began the arduous task of dollying the clothes and then scrubbing them against the washboard, rising and repeating the task before wringing out each piece of clothing, placing them inside by the fire to dry and sneak upstairs to do the same with the upstairs fire. It took the longest time and by the time she was done, her muscles ached from the work and her hands, not used to the task, were rubbed raw. She winced. Mother would not be pleased, she thought as she came back downstairs and started supper.

Simon started screaming half way through and Adelaide sighed. This is how she burned supper the night before. Thankfully, she heard Charlie on the way and Neil came in, a few minutes later.

"Smells good" Neil commented as he leaned over to kiss her cheek. "Laundry today?" he asked.

"Uh huh" Adelaide continued working, "Can you get..." she trailed off as she realized that Neil was already taking the steps two at a time to retrieve the babe. She was constantly amazed at how hands on he was as a father without her even having to prompt. She knew most men weren't quite like this with their children and Simon wasn't even Neil's biological child.

She looked down at her hands, "Oh no" she winced, realizing why they were so painful to cook with. Blisters were forming.

Neil came downstairs and she quickly continued cooking. "Lad is hungry again. I'll take over while you feed"

She nodded, wiping her hands and trying to hide her grimace at how it felt to dry her raw, blistered hands against the rough fabric.

"Come here, Simon, love" Adelaide took the baby from her and settled at the table to nurse, while watching Neil in the kitchen. They sat for a few minutes before Adelaide asked, "How are your patients?"

"Becky O'Teale's eyes are bothering her again" Neil said, grunting. "If she develops the trachoma again, I don't know what I will do..."

Adelaide grimaced. "Should I go try to pay Swannie a visit?"

He shook his head, "Not with the babe this young. Alice said she would talk to Swannie again. Oh, and the Allens are fighting sore throats and colds, but Granny's remedies seem to be working for now"

"That's good"

"Creed is aching for a visit with Isaak. I said as soon as he is well, you'd love to see him"

"I would" Adelaide looked down at Simon. "Um, Neil?"

He turned towards her.

"After supper, could you look at something for me?" she put the baby up to burp.

"Something as in...?" he asked.

"Medically related"

"Why don't we look at it now?" Neil said, "Supper can simmer for a bit"

"Okay" she bit her lip.

"Let me take the babe" Neil told her and he took Simon from her and placed him on a blanket on the floor before sitting back with Adelaide. "You look nervous. Do you feel unwell?" he studied her, carefully.

"No, nothing like that" she winced as her hands became stiff. "I'm embarrassed about it, truly"

"Woman issues?" Neil inclined his head.

"No, thankfully not that" she swallowed hard. "I don't think I would come to you for that"

"You most certainly will" Neil told her, firmly, "as it is nothing to be embarrassed about"

"Neil" she grunted, "come now, it is entirely something to be embarrassed about"

"You come now" he countered. "It absolutely is not. You will come to me if you have those problems. I want to know"

"Okay, I will, but maybe I'll do so by leaving you a note in your lab and then going to hide upstairs under the covers" she said.

He looked at her and then she smiled, titling her head.

"I think you are teasing me, but I'm not sure" he said, raising an eyebrow.

"We'll have to see when it happens" she retorted, "but honestly, it's not anything like that"

"Well, don't keep me guessing then" Neil told her and she put her hands in his, palms up. He looked down, "Oh, Adelaide, sweetheart"

Her lip trembled, "Can you help?"

"Of course" he studied her hands, "Your mama is going to have my hide though if you go home with hands like this"

"I just did laundry"

He sighed, "Unfortunately, laundry does have to be done"

"And cooking and cleaning" Adelaide said, "Honestly, I don't mind. I want to keep your home and be your wife. I just have to toughen up a bit" She rolled her shoulders as they were stiffening by the way she was sitting.

"Your muscles are aching?" he asked, not missing anything.

"Horribly" she blushed, "It's embarrassing"

"Nah" Neil held her hands in his. "Thank you for doing my laundry, sweet wife and telling me about your hands before I noticed them myself" he paused at her look, "Do you really hate being vulnerable?"

She nodded, "I want you to think I'm strong and can handle this life"

"You need to give that up now. I think you are strong, know you can handle things, but also know that this life has too much hardship and grief to bear alone- whether in the Cove or in Asheville. Be honest with me, Adelaide"

"I will"

"Good girl" He rose. "I'm going to put ointment on and then wrap them for you. Tonight you get a bath and I'll rub your shoulders and back and see if I can work the kinks out of those stiff muscles"

"Don't spoil me" she said, softly.

"It's spoiling me because I'm giving you the bath and I'm not going allow you to dress until after I rub you down" Neil said. "I can't wait actually"

She titled her head.

"I promised a reprieve from sex, not from other things...and those other things you and I can enjoy quite well without actually having sex" he said as he went into the lab. She shook her head. He came back out and sat next to her.

He placed a towel on the table. "Put your hands on the towel and I'll clean it out. It looks like you have a few scrapes and cuts as well"

"Okay" she placed her hands, palm up on the towel.

"Sorry, it's going to burn the open sores" he told her.

"I know" she nodded. "Go ahead"

He poured antiseptic on her hands, causing her to sharply intake her breath.

"Oh, goodness" she grunted as Neil held her hand steady, from her attempts to yank it away.

"It will sting just a moment longer. Hang in there, lass" he told her. "Okay there?" Neil asked, lightly as he began to cool it down with the ointment.

"Yes" she smiled at him. "I just had a baby. You think this wouldn't be so bad"

"Nah" Neil chuckled, "It's all comparative. Now, if I was doing this in the middle of a contraction, you probably wouldn't even notice"

"Isn't that the truth?"

He finished by wrapping them in a cloth and tying it off. He lifted her hands to his mouth and kissed them, tenderly.

"I'll do dishes tonight so I won't have to rewrap"

"You don't have to" she told him.

He stood and gathered up the bottles to take back to the lab. "No, but I want to, so you'll let me, yes?"

"Yes" her heart stirred as she watched his retreating figure. He had such a kind heart.

* * *

"I'll change the babe" Neil said, after she finished feeding him as they sat on their bed together.

"You don't have to" she protested, "if I am taking a bath, we'll have to rewrap my hands anyway"

"Still, I told you I would do so from time to time...call this one of those times" he winked at her as he reached for her son, "Come here, son"

Neil laid him on the bed and then changed his diaper and clothes with such tenderness that Adelaide's heart immediately overflowed.

Neil locked eyes with hers. "What is it, lass?" he asked as he saw her tears.

"You are just such a good father"

He leaned over and kissed her cheek and then wrapped up the babe placing him in the cradle. "Come on now. I'll show you what a good husband I can be"

He took her bandaged hand in his and gently tugged her off the bed, leading her downstairs to their living room, her stomach twisting up in knots.

"Sit on the couch while I get the water ready" he instructed, pushing her down. He went to work straight away- Adelaide watching him intently as he poured the water into the bath tub, testing it out and adding the bath scents that she loved.

"Okay, let's get you undressed" Neil looked up at her and crossed the room, confidently. He paused at her look, "Are you nervous?"

She nodded.

"Why?"

"Baths are something private" Adelaide said, meeting his eyes.

He paused, "but they can be incredibly fun to share with your spouse, right?"

She bit her lip hard, "are they?"

He studied her, "I think so"

"Okay" Adelaide said, slowly.

"You have too many inhibitions, Addie" Neil told her, seriously.

"I know"

He continued to study her, carefully, trying to figure out what was causing her anxiety.

"Here let's unwrap your hands" he tenderly unwrapped the bandages from her hands, taking a moment to examine them. "The hot water might be sore for a bit, but it should soothe them too. We'll let them breathe overnight and I'll treat them again in the morning"

"Thank you"

"I'll be back in a few minutes" Neil said, "I forgot towels. You go ahead and get in the bath"

"Really?"

Neil laughed. "I have seen you naked before, woman, but if you are going to be suddenly shy about it, I'm not going to force it...not tonight at least"

Adelaide blushed, "I know you think I'm ridiculous..."

He kissed her, silencing her. He pulled away, looking deeply into her eyes, "I think you are struggling something awful. There is a time for challenging and a time to just accept where you are at in this moment. I'm choosing the latter right now. Go ahead and take your bath, lass. The water will get cold soon" he kissed her briefly again before leaving her alone.

* * *

Adelaide scooped up some bubbles in her hand. The ointment Neil put on had helped immensely, but at the moment, her blisters were the least of her worries. She was occupied with thoughts of Neil and their marriage.

In the past few months, she had seen his heart and she truly cared for him. He was being so patient with her too, surprising her and stirring her heart towards him. He was trying so hard to be good to her and she knew she was thwarting his effort. Opal was right, she needed to talk to him about her fears, but the thought of doing that, she was scared that her fears would just be confirmed. She knew when compared to Margaret and Christy, she did fall horribly short in many ways. From what she could tell, Margaret was a free spirit, that quality which drew Neil to her like a moth to a flame. Christy had such an innocent like freedom to her as well, which again Neil was drawn to. She was nothing like that. She couldn't help the tears that flowed as she thought about it all. She was feeling so defeated.

And yet at the same time, Neil drew her out of herself. He was her best friend. She could let go of her inhibitions a bit.

"You are deep in thought, woman" Neil said, quietly.

She jumped, shifting the water, it splashing over the sides.

"Easy there" Neil came up beside her, "I have towels. Have you washed yet?"

"No" she wiped at her eyes.

"Sweetheart" Neil's voice was tender, "What's the matter?"

"I'm just thinking"

"There_ is_ danger in that" Neil said, seriously, "you are too pensive for your own good"

"I do tend to be" she affirmed, "I often need someone to help draw me out of it"

"Will you let me be that person?"

"Whether you know it or not, you have been that person for months"

Neil's smile was wide, "I'm glad, lass"

She nodded, "I will confide in you soon, I promise"

"Good" Neil responded. "Now, how can I help you?"

Adelaide knew that this was the perfect opportunity. She took a breath, her heart racing.

"Hum" Adelaide reached for a washcloth and handed it to him, "If you want" she said, shyly.

"Is this where your pensive thinking led you?" Neil asked, amused.

"Partly" she gave him a small smile. "I don't want to fully..."

"I know" Neil told her as he dipped the cloth under the water and then began to wash her, tenderly. "So tense, wife" he chided. "Close your eyes, Adelaide"

She closed her eyes, allowing herself to focus on the sensations Neil was evoking as he washed her. He knew what he was doing. And she was responding so strongly to it.

"Oh"

"Good?"

"Yes"

He leaned over to whisper in her ear, "Good"

He continued his efforts, watching her reaction intently, learning the ways to stir her, opening her to him. He could tell that she was losing herself to him when she opened her eyes and squirmed, "I think I'm washed enough"

"Why?"he asked, careful to keep his tone moderate.

"I..." her voice trailed off as she thought how she could possibly explain this to him. They were so different in this regard.

"It's okay to allow yourself pleasure especially with me"

"I know" she shivered, suddenly aware of the cool temperature of the water.

He gently massaged her shoulders with his fingers. "You would be more comfortable if it was dark and I couldn't see how much you enjoy this"

"Infinitely more comfortable"

"Soon you will have to be open with me, Adelaide" he told her, quietly. "I want that so much"

"Why?"

"Because for all your talk, it shows you really trust me" he told her, twisting a tendril of hair in his finger. "Does your hair need to be washed?" he asked, changing the subject.

"No, it should be fine" Adelaide said, "I'll be too chilled if we try to do that now. I think I shouldn't have been so lost in my thoughts. I wasted all the warm water"

"No, the soaking was probably good to relax your muscles" Neil reached for the towel and handed it to her. "I'm going to go get your lotion to rub into your arms and back" He tossed her a blanket. "Wrap up in this too if you are cold"

"Or if I'm feeling particularly modest?"

Neil chuckled, "That too"

He left her and she stepped out of the water, wrapping herself in the towel, and throwing the blanket over her too.

Neil came back with her bottle of lotion. "Here lay down"

"I'm going to get the sofa soaked" Adelaide protested.

"Fair point" Neil scooted over the oversized fur rug closer to the fire. "Lie there"

"Um" she looked at it, wearily.

Neil laughed heartedly, "It's clean, lass, promise and you can put the towel under you. It will be softer than the sofa too"

She frowned, "but then..." she stopped, trying to work it out in her mind how she could still maintain her modesty.

"You are going to have to have some vulnerability here" Neil said, quietly.

"You're right" Adelaide eased down to sit on the rug and he sat next to her.

"Go ahead and lie on your stomach and I'll work the kinks out of those muscles"

She slid down and turned over, Neil not so quickly putting the blanket over her bottom half.

He poured the lotion on his hands and then began to massage it into her back causing her to groan.

"Too rough?"

"No" Adelaide said, "it hurts but in a good way. I didn't realize how tense I was"

"I did" Neil said, wryly.

"I was referring to my sore muscles from the laundry, Dr. MacNeill" Adelaide said, and Neil heard the teasing in her voice.

They fell silent, Neil rubbing her back and shoulders and arms.

"Tell me something about you, lass" Neil said, quietly. "Something nobody else knows"

She thought for a few moments.

"I greatly prefer Adelaide to Addie" she said.

"Really now?" Neil asked, surprised, "I asked you that a long time ago"

"Well, you know...I hate being fussy over things" Adelaide said, "And I really truly don't mind Addie, especially from Daddy or the people of the Cove, but..."

"Does it make you feel childish at times?"

"Yes"

"I see" Neil continued to rub her shoulders. "I'll call you Adelaide from now on"

"You do mostly anyway"

"I do, don't I?" he said, "truth be told, I prefer Adelaide to Addie as well"

"I like when you say my name"

Neil couldn't hide his grin, but Adelaide couldn't see it.

"Oh, bother" Adelaide tried to get up, "Did I really say that?"

"Aye, _Adelaide_"

"Don't tease" she struggled, but Neil's hand was holding her down.

"I'm not" Neil retorted, "I want you to like things about me, sweet lass"

"I do like things about you, Neil"

"Like what?"

"Besides the way you doctor?"

He continued to rub her lower back, "I'd hope as your husband, you would see the man"

"I do" Adelaide assured him, "I love how you have accepted Simon as your own, how you help me with him without me asking you to, how patient you have been with me..."

"Those are all fine qualities..."

"But I could have said that even before we married"

"Possibly" Neil's tone was guarded.

"You want to know if I see you as a husband"

"Aye"

"Because I imposed this restriction on our love making"

"Partly" he sighed, "I'm not fishing for compliments, Adelaide"

"I know" Adelaide shifted. "I like how in the middle of the night, you hold me close to you"

"I like that too" Neil said, his voice low.

"I like how broad you are" she said, "you are so strong, but when you hold me or we make love, you are so gentle. You have this stalwart presence wherever you go" she thought for a moment, "and I love your hair"

"My hair?" Neil chuckled, "it's an unruly mess"

"It fits you perfectly" Adelaide smiled as she turned around, pulling up the blanket as she did, making sure it covered her. "I can see our little girl having curls just like yours"

"Poor lassie"

"And that same unruly personality, which I am also attracted too" she admitted with a blush.

"You like the less refined?"

"I wish I could be more like you" she offered, "more open, more free with my feelings emotions, not as shy and reserved"

"You are only shy and reserved at times"

"True" She gave him a wry smile. "I like your temper"

Neil snorted, "My temper?"

"Yes" Adelaide said, with a grin. "You are infuriating, but you challenge me and I like that"

"You challenge me back only in a sweet way. I'll never forget the first few times you stood up to me temper. The look in your eyes..." he looked into her eyes, "truth be told, I was attracted to you then, Adelaide"

She stilled, not understanding what he was saying.

"But you were in love with my sister then"

"Aye" he nodded.

"I don't understand" she paused and swallowed hard, comprehension dawning, "oh, because I reminded you of Margaret"

His eyes grew wide, "No"

"Yes" Adelaide challenged.

"You are so different from her"

"But you like that fire in a woman, Neil"

"Adelaide" his voice was pained, "I was trying to be complimentary and you are ruining it"

She was chastised, "I'm sorry, I wasn't meaning to"

Things had suddenly become quite tense between them.

"Did I hit the truth?" her voice contained a hint of a quiver, but she managed to keep it mostly even.

He hesitated, sensing the importance of his words. "I really don't believe so" he finally said.

"She was the love of your life, it's only natural considering the resemblance and that was before we really knew each other well" she offered.

"I honestly don't see Margaret when I look at you...you are so different from her personality wise...and I'm not sure Margaret was the love of my life"

She nodded, "I understand"

"Do you?"

She tried to swallow down the huge lump in her throat at the thought that her sister was the love of his life. "Of course" she leaned over to kiss his cheek, "Thank you for the bath and rubbing my back. I feel much better"

"Somehow I doubt that"

She gave him a small smile, "I'm sleepy. I'll dump out the water and then I'm going to bed. Are you coming?"

He shook his head, "I'll take care of the water, lass. It's too heavy for you and it will pain your hands to drag the bath outside."

"Yes, thank you"

"DOC!" there was a holler in the yard.

She kissed him quickly before hopping up to take refuge upstairs, "I'll see you when you get back"

"Hopefully it won't be all night"

"Good" she said, "Be careful"

"Aye, I will" Neil said before going outside to deal with the latest emergency in the Cove, hoping that he could at least be more successful there than he was being here, trying to figure out his new wife...and the way into her heart.

**A/N**: please review! :)


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: **A nice long chapter for you all! I'm finding I'm really loving revisiting Neil/Addie in their "early days"... Let me know what you all think!

**A Different Path: Chapter 8**

Christy returned to the Cove the next day with a few of Adelaide's dresses Julia had got expanded. Neil was away, off on an emergency, and Christy dropped by the MacNeill cabin with the clothes in hand.

"I'm sorry, Adelaide" she said as she sat in the chair in their room, rocking Simon, while Adelaide tried on the garments. "I should have been here for you"

"No" Adelaide turned, tears in her eyes. "I should have been more sensitive to your feelings. I'm sorry too. You are my sister and I love you. I don't want you upset with me nor do I want to hurt your feelings. I honestly wasn't choosing Neil over you"

"I'm not upset with you" Christy reassured her, "and I know that it wasn't entirely your choice to marry Doctor MacNeill. And you are making such a difference here. I'm glad you decided to stay. These people need you...and" she looked down fondly at the babe, "Neil needs you too. I think you are good for him"

"Thank you, Christy. That means the world to me" She reached behind her to try to button the dress. "Darn" She sighed, frustrated. "It's still not quite large enough"

"It hasn't been that long" Christy said, her voice gentle, "And you really do look well, Addie"

"Can you help me? I think if I wear my corset again and tighten it, I should be able to button the dress"

"Sure" Christy kissed Simon and put him down on the bed and helped Adelaide tighten her corset. "Now, you don't want it too tight"

"Just a little tighter" Adelaide said. "I'm not trying to be fashionable here, just practical"

Christy looked at her sister in the mirror. "Adelaide, I don't quite think it is either fashionable or practical to wear your corset tighter..."

"I just want to feel like myself again, Christy" Adelaide said, "please"

"Alright" Christy tightened it tightly- Adelaide trying to hold her breath in to make more room.

"Oh, Lord" she groaned.

"Too tight?" Christy asked.

"No" she said, "It's fine. See if the dress fits. Can you get my buttons?"

Christy buttoned the dress. "Fits perfect now" she declared. "How does it feel?"

"Not good" Adelaide winced. She could feel the pressure of the corset protruding into her ribs, feeling like it was crushing her. She forgot what it was like after months of forgoing. "I suppose it's the price we pay as women"

"You know you don't have to wear your corset out here" Christy said. "No one would even notice if you don't"

"True" Adelaide sighed, "and I didn't when I was expecting, but...I refuse not to fit into these dresses considering mother expanded them...and they are made anyway to be worn with a corset"

"You have other clothes you can wear until you fit into it" Christy pointed out.

"Clothes I wore when I was first expecting Simon" Adelaide told her, "I'm done with my maternity clothes. I want to wear normal clothes again"

"I can understand that" Christy said.

"And you wear corsets" Adelaide smiled at her.

"Well, yes" Christy blushed, "David likes my dresses"

Adelaide smiled, "I like them too"

"But" Christy shifted, "Neil would probably rather you be practical about it, don't you think?"

She turned to her, "No, he just likes to think he is above that, but he appreciates it too- I know he does"

"Do you really think?"

She nodded, "I do" Her shoulders sunk forward slightly, defeated. Simon began to fuss and Adelaide went over to the bed.

"What's going on with you? You don't quite seem like yourself, sissy" Christy asked as Adelaide picked up Simon, trying to soothe him again.

"Neil and I..." she bit her lip. "I'm sure you don't want to hear about my marriage"

"No, it's alright" Christy retorted, her eyes full of concern. "Tell me. I know Neil, maybe I can help you"

"Are you sure?"

"Of course" Christy said, "You are my sister above everything else and I want to see you happy. Actually, I want to see _both_ of you happy. What is it?"

She sat down on the bed with Simon, putting him on her shoulder and patting his back. "I expected things to just be natural and they aren't" Adelaide said, "You were right- I feel like I am betraying Simon to be with him, especially what we do as husband and wife"

"No" Christy shook her head, swiftly, "You aren't. I was wrong to ever imply that you marrying Neil was a betrayal to Simon"

"Even if you didn't say it, my feelings on the matter are what they are" Adelaide told her. "I like Neil. I like him a lot"

"Do you love him?" Christy asked, studying her.

She shook her head. "It's too soon for that"

"It's okay to let yourself be open to him" she told her, "I should have never said otherwise"

"I can't fall in love with him Christy"

"Why ever not?" she asked.

"Well, he...he doesn't..." she tried to search for the right words, "he doesn't feel that way towards me"

"I know he cares for you deeply" Christy said.

"That's not love"

"But you don't love him either"

"No" she said, slowly. "I suppose it's complicated...and things..." her face blushed and Christy inferred her meaning, "well, it's a bit awkward between us, which is making everything tense" she admitted.

Christy smiled, "Isn't it always between a husband and a wife at first, sissy? You told me that it would be that way with me and David, remember?"

"Well, considering Neil and I have both been married before, I assumed it wouldn't be" Adelaide countered. "And then the women were talking about Margaret and how beautiful and alluring she was..." Adelaide sighed. "I feel quite inadequate in so many ways"

Christy took her hand and turned her towards her, "What happened to your confidence, Adelaide? This is not like you"

"I was never quite confident" Adelaide admitted, "I was always horribly jealous of you"

"I was always jealous of you!" Christy exclaimed. "Aren't we silly?"

Adelaide laughed, "I suppose"

"Be yourself with him" Christy said, "He cares for you. I can see it. It was why I was jealous at first. Father gave me quite the talking to about it"

Adelaide's eyes widened in surprise. "Did he really?"

Christy nodded. "And sent me back on my way. He supports your marriage to Neil full heartedly. He even said that he saw something special between you months ago and that I should stop being selfish"

"I can't believe he told that to you"

"I needed to hear the truth" Christy said, "And I think Daddy wanted to make sure that my feelings didn't affect your chance at happiness. And he is right- I made my choice"

Adelaide paused, "What about mother?"

"Oh, well" Christy shifted with a small smile, "She thinks you married beneath you"

"I see" Adelaide grunted. "I should have suspected as much"

"She'll come around" Christy said, with confidence. "But as for you and Neil, just relax and be yourself and everything else will fall into place"

"I told him I needed space from our love making"

Christy's eyes widened, "I can't imagine him being okay with that"

"He's not" Adelaide said, grimly. "But he is more patient than I ever expected him to be"

"Neil? Patient?" Christy smiled, "I told you he cares for you"

Adelaide frowned, "I don't know"

"Adelaide" Neil called up. "What are ye doin, lass?"

Adelaide handed Simon to Christy and went into the hallway, "Christy is up here and I'm trying on dresses that mother sent back. Did you need something?"

"No, just wonderin" Neil said. "Take your time"

"No, we are done" Adelaide said as they came down the stairs.

"Hello, Christy"

"Neil" Christy smiled at him. "You look well"

"So do you" he said.

"Marriage to my sister must agree with you" she told him, "treat her well"

"I'm attempting to" Neil looked between the sisters, warmly. "Don't stop your sisterly bonding on my account"

"Stay for lunch?" Adelaide asked Christy.

"No" Christy handed Simon back to Adelaide, "David is expecting me home"

"Oh, I forgot, you wanted to borrow that book. It's upstairs. I'll be right back"

"Here lass" Neil held out his arms for the baby, "I'll take the lad"

She transferred Simon to his papa's arms, "There you go, baby, Papa has you"

Adelaide saw Neil's eyes lock with Christy's for a moment, before she quickly turned around and went upstairs. She returned a few minutes later to Neil and Christy seemingly in deep conversation, talking in low tones, Neil still holding Simon up on his shoulder. Adelaide stood at the top of the stairs, watching them carefully for a few moments before coming downstairs.

"Here it is" she said, handing the book to her sister.

"Thanks sissy"

"Visit soon?" Adelaide said, kissing her on the cheek.

"Of course. See you soon. Bye Neil" Christy nodded.

"Bye, Christy"

She patted Simon's back, "Bye my favorite nephew in the world"

Adelaide laughed, "He's your only nephew, sissy"

"For now" Neil said.

"Oh Lord" Adelaide blushed, "behave, Neil"

Christy blushed too. "Yes, Doctor. None of the birds and the bees talk" She shook her finger playfully at him.

"Plus, it's infinitely more likely for Christy to give us a niece or a nephew..."

Neil raised an eyebrow. "What are you saying, lass?"

"Just that I just had Simon so..." she blushed more, "I didn't mean it the way it sounded...oh, you are embarrassing my sister, Neil MacNeill!"

Christy giggled, "Apparently, not just me"

Neil winked, "There are an awful lot of red faces in here for two grown lasses"

Adelaide rolled her eyes, "Christy won't want to come and visit again with your teasing"

"No, I'm used to him" Christy said. "Have a good lunch. I'll see you soon"

"Bye Sissy"

She left them alone.

He came beside her and traced her cheek, "You and your sister seem back to normal"

She smiled, "Yes, and I'm so very glad" She paused, "Is it okay that I had her up to our bedroom?"

"That's fine" Neil told her, "There isn't a lot of room in the cabin especially when you are doing something like trying on dresses"

She nodded, "That's what I thought"

He looked at her, evenly, "Did your dresses fit?"

She blushed. "Yes, thankfully" she could tell he wanted to say something more, but stopped himself.

"Good, I'm glad" he gave her a kiss on the cheek before heading off to wash up for lunch.

* * *

Adelaide winced as she came down the stairs from putting Simon to bed. She should have changed hours ago- her body still not adjusted to her corset after months of forgoing.

Neil looked up, not missing wince or her hand as she went to rub the spot that was giving her so much trouble, confined by her corset. She met Neil's eyes, dropping her hand immediately as she came to the bottom of the stairs. He looked perturbed with her and she braced herself for what she was sure to be a heated discussion.

"Come here, lass" He told her, his voice not brooking argument. He laid aside his work on the side table, stood, and beckoned to her.

She sighed and came over to him. "Yes?" she asked, wearily. "Am I in for a scolding?"

"You know you are" he told her. "Now, turn around" he said.

"What are you going to do?"

"Undress you" Neil said, his voice short.

"Oh" she looked at him, "No thank you"

He raised his eyebrow at her, "I don't think I asked you, do you?"

She chewed on her lip. Neil could be as stubborn, hot headed and passionate as they come- he hadn't demanded her submission ever in their relationship so far, but she knew he expected her to yield to him when the occasion warranted. Still, she wasn't willing to give in that easily.

"I don't need you to" her eyes sparked.

"Do ye really want to go to battle with me about this now?" he asked her, his temper hanging on by a thread at her clear challenge.

"And if I said yes?"

"I would tell you that is unwise to get into a temper over something you are in the wrong about and to save it for when you are actually correct" Neil said, crossing his arms.

"_You_ are in a temper, not me" Adelaide said.

"You are in one too. And mine is getting worse every moment you continue to pick a fight with me" he stared at her, "this is really how you want to proceed?"

"I'm telling you I'm fine" she said.

"You are in pain" he told her, "And I remained quiet all day about it, because I assumed you were not foolish to do something to harm your body for something frivolous as fitting into your dresses, but clearly I was wrong. Turn around now. My patience is waning quickly"

"I don't need you to doctor me" Adelaide said, standing her ground.

"No, but you do need a husband right now" Neil said, "lucky you, you have both"

"I'm not going to just obey your command" she dug in her heels.

"Woman" Neil let out his breath, "Considering I'm being tolerant in other ways in our marriage, you could try to be cooperative- I don't have an endless supply of patience on hand as you very well know. Now turn around"

Adelaide sighed and turned around, "Don't jump to conclusions"

"I rarely jump to conclusions, Adelaide" his voice was low.

"My body just has to adjust to the corset again"

"We will see" Neil said, grimly as he reached to undo the buttons to her light blue dress. "I can't believe that you of all people would be this foolish. If you bruised your ribs, I won't be able to control my temper" he warned. "It's going to explode at ye"

"I didn't bruise a rib- give me some credit" Adelaide retorted. "And I have been wearing corsets for years without any harm"

Neil put the bodice of the dress on the sofa and loosened the buttons to her skirt, sliding it down, placing it on the couch as well.

"Do you usually wear your corsets this tight?" Neil was aghast.

"Don't act superior" she retorted as Neil loosened for her. She sighed in relief. "These new types of ones don't do any damage"

"You are a nurse, Adelaide" Neil grunted, "you know that isn't entirely still true especially when tied this tight" He slid it off. "What were you thinking?"

"I just had to get it a little tighter to button the dress" Adelaide said, "Mother loosened it and it still wasn't enough"

"Then you wait another few weeks and try again" Neil countered, "not do something so harebrained"

"I'm good now, thank you for your help" Adelaide said as she stepped away from him, but Neil caught her arm, turning her around.

"Not so fast" He reached to untie the tie to her camisole. "I want to see"

"I don't want you to"

"Then that should tell you something" he told her.

"No, it should tell _you_ something" she countered.

"Adelaide, stop arguing with me" Neil snapped. "Be cooperative for once in your life"

"Don't snap at me"

"Don't give me a reason to" he told her. "Besides the fact I'm trying to help you, I have every right to look at your body if I want to. You are my wife"

"Silly marriage" she muttered.

He looked at her in surprise and she flashed a smile at him.

"Why do I always insist on marrying the feisty ones?" Neil asked, wryly, his temper abating slightly.

"You wouldn't know what to do with an overly compliant wife" Adelaide responded. "You like being challenged"

"Not too much though" he told her, his voice low, "I have my limits, believe me. I'm taking this off now"

"If you insist" She sighed and he slipped the garment off, it sliding off her hips to pool at her feet.

"Step out of it" he gave her his hand and she stepped to the side, allowing him to pick it up and lay it with the rest of her things.

"Now" He turned back to her and looked at her body, "It left marks" he said, frowning deeply in disapproval.

"I'm sure it's fine" she said, softly, but her body tensed.

"I may be in a temper, but I'm not going to hurt you, lass"

"I know that" she said, "I was just" she sighed, resigned, "I was just anticipating you touching my ribs"

"That tells me a lot"

"Yes" her face flamed.

"I'll be gentle" He moved closer to her and ran his hand along the marks before reaching up and felt her ribs, causing her to wince sharply.

She let out her breath, trying to hide how much it hurt, but Neil knew.

"Damn it, Adelaide, you've bruised them" he cursed. "Wait here" his voice was low. "Do not move"

"I'm standing here completely unclothed in our living room" Adelaide protested, "anybody could stop by"

"They'll holler first" Neil retorted, "_Do not move_"

"Don't bully me"

"You need more than just me bullying you" Neil said, pointing a finger at her. "I don't know what is going on with you, but you and I will have words about this" his voice raised.

"I'm standing here without any clothes on in our living room" Adelaide hissed at him.

"Aye, I know" Neil inclined his head, "And there is nothing wrong with it"

Her eyes widened. "There is everything wrong with it" she exclaimed.

"And that philosophy is half our problem. You need to learn to be comfortable with your body. It's our home and I want you to remain where you are"

"You simply don't understand" Adelaide groaned.

"That's right, Adelaide, I don't" he told her, his voice rising again. "You can't tell me that you haven't been hurting all day"

"Of course, I've been hurting"

"Have you had trouble breathing as well?" his eyes were lit.

"No, of course not" Adelaide said, biting her lip, her telltale sign of distress.

"Do not lie to me" his voice was low.

"Okay, maybe a bit"

"And you kept it on?" Neil shouted, "Are you daft?"

"Yes, I kept it on" she looked at him, her eyes sparking too, "and I would do it again"

"That's the most idiotic thing I've heard" Neil thundered, "I thought you were different! I thought you had brains in your head. This, wife, is the very reason that women should not be doctors"

She stilled, "Do you believe that?" she asked, coolly.

"No, you don't turn this around on me" Neil grunted, "that's not happening to make me out to be the one in the wrong"

"We can talk about it later" Adelaide said.

"For God's sake, woman" He thundered. "Just stay here"

"Please let me go get my nightgown" she said, her voice softer, "I'm asking you as your wife. I need my nightgown"

"I'll get your dressing gown for you. It will be easier for me to treat your ribs. You can stay here for a few minutes"

"You are trying to shame me" she accused.

"No, sweetheart. I would never do that to you" Neil's look softened and his voice returned to normal volume, "but you should be ashamed- not of your body, but tying that corset that tight knowing it was hurting you"

"It's fashion"

"It's vanity" Neil retorted, his voice become heated again, "and you, Adelaide, are far better than that"

"I'm moving"

"You will not move"

"Or what?"

"Or I take you to our bed and make love to you which I've wanted to do for days now"

"You can't force me to obey you or make love to you"

"Really?" Neil challenged, "both of those are my rights as your husband and you know it. I could demand you yield to me. And believe me, do not push your luck. I'm not a patient man to begin with and you are sorely testing me right now"

"I don't believe for a minute that you would force me to your bed" she challenged.

"No, I wouldn't" Neil conceded, "but if told you that I wanted you to be my wife...you wouldn't deny me"

"How do you know that?" she asked.

"You said vows to me and I believe that you would stand by your word...not to mention your religion tells you to submit and honor your husband and I doubt you would go against that, now would you?"

Her eyes darkened, but she didn't argue anymore and he left her.

He retrieved into the lab and then made his way upstairs, retrieving her silky dressing gown from the bedroom.

He came back downstairs, tossing the materials on the couch.

"Here" Neil helped her into her dressing gown, "Come sit on the couch and let's see to your rib"

He sat next to her. "Turn around and I'll braid your hair to get out of the way."

She turned away from him. "Do you know how to braid hair?"

He paused, "I do"

"How?" her face flamed as he began to gently brush out her hair.

"I would brush out and braid Margaret's hair before bed when we were first married" Neil said.

"I see" Adelaide swallowed hard as he massaged through her hair gently, rubbing her scalp causing her sighing contentedly. "She must have had beautiful hair for you to want to do that every night"

"I find your hair just as beautiful and alluring" he told her as he began to braid it. He tied the end with a ribbon. "Even more so"

He grasped her hips and gently turned her around. He pushed aside the opening to her dressing gown, exposing her to him.

"I find all of you just as alluring" he said, "you freezing me out of our bed is killin me, lass"

She closed her eyes as he tenderly caressed her before dropping his hand. Her body had tensed under his touch and he patted her hip, trying to soothe her.

He unscrewed the lid to the jar and with his fingers massaged a paste into her ribs.

"Smells delightful" Adelaide said.

"Serves you right" he responded, but the heat from his tone was gone.

He slipped the dressing gown down so he could wrap her ribs with a bandage before pulling her dressing gown back up and tying it tightly. He scooped her up to sit her on his lap.

Adelaide leaned against him and they sat in silence for a few minutes, before Neil finally said,

"You are breaking my heart these days, Adelaide" He pulled her away from him to look into her eyes.

"It _was_ foolish"

"Aye, you are smarter than that, sweetheart"

He leaned over to put his head on her forehead.

"Your temper has settled" she murmured to him.

"Aye" he put his hand behind her neck, still leaning close to her. "I'm still upset with you, Adelaide"

"I know"

"Try to wear your dress again in a few weeks" he said, "I'm sure they'll fit soon"

"Neil" her throat was dry, "I should explain."

"You should" he affirmed.

"I'm not quite ready to though"

"I'm giving you a few more days and then I'm making love you again" he told her. "You can explain then. In the meantime, I confiscating your corsets"

"I'm your wife" Adelaide squeaked, "not your child"

"Then act like it" he responded, evenly as he pulled away from her. "No more corsets until your ribs are healed and after that we can negotiate"

She frowned but offered no protest.

"And in the meantime, wife" Neil said, quietly, "I have some case studies that I want you to parse through"

"Case studies?" she asked, curiously.

"About the dangers of those contraptions" Neil said.

"Oh please" Adelaide snorted. "That sounds like a punishment"

"Call it what you like, Adelaide" Neil gently eased her off his lap. "I want summaries. Penmanship, grammar and content all count"

"You are infuriating sometimes" Adelaide glared at him, her hand her hip.

"Takes one to known one" Neil retorted before going into the lab and shutting the door.

* * *

"NO! Oh God, Simon, no" Adelaide sobbed. "Please don't die, please don't leave me here. I can't do this without you. I can't lose you. _No, please_..."

Neil sat up and lit the lamp, then dimmed it. Simon was stirring from the noise Adelaide was making, clearly in the throws of a nightmare. He put his hand on her hip, shaking her gently. "Adelaide, sweetheart, wake up"

She jolted awake, her heart racing. "Neil? What is it?" she seemed disoriented as she rubbed her eyes, which were wet from her tears.

"You were having a bad dream" Neil whispered.

Her dream came flooding back. She shook, unable to stop the tears. Her heart ached so badly as she revisited the night of Simon's death in her dreams.

Simon stirred again and fussed a bit before growing calm again.

Neil reached to ease her off the bed and into his arms, "Let's go downstairs and talk"

"It's the middle of the night" she protested.

"Aye" he said, "And I'm wide awake now. Hush, lass, the babe is stirring"

He extinguished the lamp and carried her carefully downstairs, the light of the moon guiding their path down the stairs. He deposited her on the couch and then lit the lamp on the side table. He eased her up and sat with her on his lap. She sobbed into his shoulder, feeling raw and helpless- first the fight with Neil, then the nightmare about Simon.

"It's alright, lass, I'm here" Neil said, rocking her.

"I'm sorry"

"No" he shushed, "just get it out"

"I'm such a mess, maybe we should have never done this" Adelaide said, "I can't be the wife you need"

"That's not true"

"It is true. I'm broken for you"

"Nah" Neil kissed her tears away. "We'll get through it together, sweet lass, I promise"

"I'm sorry about the corset" Adelaide sniffled.

"Let's not talk about that now. What was your dream about?"

"Simon" she swallowed hard.

"It was about his death, yes?"

"Yes"

He hugged her close to him. "Do you dream of that often?"

"Not since right after his death" Adelaide said, "I don't know where that came from"

"Well, I'm no expert on dreams, but I suppose you were feeling distraught when you went to bed and that anxiety caused the dream"

She sniffled. "I hate that I'm dreaming of Simon when I'm sleeping next to you. It just seems so wrong"

"Don't worry about that" Neil said, "I'm not offended by it. You can't help your dreams"

"Do you dream of Margaret?" She raised her head to look at him, her eyes transparent to her feelings. It would bother her if he said yes.

He paused long at her look, trying to figure out the different signals she was giving him. He couldn't make head or tails of it, but he supposed she couldn't either.

He shook his head, "Not for a long time, lass. But when you lose a spouse, it shatters your heart and makes you weary about letting anyone else in. I was closed off to even the idea, until..." his voice trailed off, not sure he wanted to go there with Adelaide's emotions so raw and her so vulnerable.

"Until my sister came to the Cove?"

"Aye" he rubbed her back as she laid her head back on his shoulder.

"I'm glad you opened your heart up again even if it didn't end well for you, Neil" Adelaide said, "for the record, I think part of the reason why she struggled when we married was she knew that she made a mistake"

"I hardly think that" Neil's voice was low.

"I do" Adelaide responded, softly, lifting her head again. "I think she is happy, but she will always wonder of what her life could have been like. I should have intervened for you. Simon told me not to, but I should have"

"No" Neil leaned her back and put his finger under her chin, "you were right to stay out of it, lass"

"Still" tears filled her eyes, "she would have made you a wonderful wife, Neil"

"Adelaide" he chided.

"It's just...you deserve a love like that. She is so sweet...and she is whole. You two would have been so happy"

Neil rubbed her cheek, "Adelaide, please stop. Your musings are taking us down a dangerous path, one that I refuse to go on"

"I'm sorry" Adelaide said, softly, "Of course you are right"

She looked hurt. Neil closed his eyes briefly and then hugged her tightly.

"Sweetheart" he began, but she interrupted him,

"No, let's go back to bed. I feel better"

"Do you?" he inquired evenly.

"Oh much"

"I see" He massaged the small of her back, his knuckles kneading into it. "Want to tell me why you are dismissing me?"

She leaned her head on his shoulder again, "I don't believe I'm bold enough to actually dismiss you, Neil"

He chuckled, "Oh, mark my words, you are, you just do so in your sweet way"

"I...I feel...out of sorts now and I think it would be better for us to go back to bed"

"Or" Neil fiddled with the end of her braid, "you could use a friend to help you sort through your feelings"

"It's the middle of the night"

"And your defenses are down enough to confide in me, which is why you want to go to bed"

"Yes" She gripped his arms. "Please, let's go back to bed. I want you to hold me while I try to fall back asleep"

He searched her eyes. "Very well, lass" He eased her off his lap, stood and then offered his hand, leading her back to their room.

When she was tucked back up in Neil's arms, his breathing long evened out as sleep reclaimed him again, she lay awake, plagued by her thoughts. He didn't deny it or say that he was glad things turned out the way that they did. And the thought that Neil's heart was still tangled up in Christy's tore her own fragile heart.

* * *

"Her lungs sound clear, Fairlight" Neil said as he put his stethoscope around his neck, patting Clara's back gently as she coughed. "an early spring cold, I think"

Fairlight nodded, "I be always able to tell spring is here by the young'uns"

"Let me know if she develops a fever" he told her, "In the meantime, just do what you are doing"

Fairlight looked at him and then picked up Clara and tucked her back in bed as Neil packed up his bag.

"Want to tell me the real reason ye came out here, Doc?" Fairlight said, knowingly as she exchanged a look with Jeb. "And we all know it wasn't because of Clara's cough"

"I was maybe hopin for some advice"

"I thought so" Fairlight shook her head as they headed to the porch, Zady and John watching the children. "What did ye do this time, Neil?"

"Woman" Jeb grunted.

Neil held up his hands, "Nothin, Fairlight. I've tried to be understanding, but Adelaide has completely shut down on me"

"Hum" Fairlight looked at him, knowingly. "Sit down, Doc for a spell"

They settled on the porch.

"Did something happen at the ladies sewing circle, Fairlight?"

Fairlight looked to Jeb, "There was some gossiping before Adelaide arrived that she may have overheard"

"About Adelaide?"

"No" Fairlight turned back to Neil, "About Miz Margaret"

Neil shifted uncomfortably at that news, "What was said exactly?"

Fairlight shook her head, "I'm not going to be the one to tell you especially if it upset Miz Addie so badly, she needs to tell ye why it would"

"She doesn't usually take prattle like that to heart" Neil said, "she is actin differently than she ever has"

"Miz Addie has had a heapful of changes" Jeb said, quietly. "She's learnin how to be a mama, live out in the Cove and now she be your wife and ye be a lot different than Doc Simon"

"I care for her" Neil admitted, "I hate to see her struggling so"

Fairlight looked to him, "Have you told her that ye care?"

"Of course I've told her I care" Neil said.

"As a friend?" Jeb asked.

He nodded, "Anything else will scare her after Simon"

"Maybe" Fairlight said, "or may be right assuring to her that the new man she married is interested in her more than just someone to keep his bed warm at night"

"Fairlight" Neil raised his eyebrows, "do ye think Adelaide thinks that sex is all I want from her?"

"That's all I'm sayin, Doc" Fairlight said, "I haven't talked to Miz Addie about it"

He nodded, "that's not the case, but I suppose I can understand why she might think that way. What do I do?"

"Just show her that ye care, Doc" Jeb said, "Find what speaks to her"

Neil nodded. "It's time to start sparkin my wife"

"Now, that be the way, Doc" Jeb said, slapping Neil's back as Jeb and Fairlight both laughed.

* * *

Adelaide wrapped her shawl around her as she walked the short distance to the barn to greet Neil, who had just returned from visiting the Spencers.

"I get a welcoming party" Neil said, with a smile as he unstrapped his bags from the saddle.

"Just me" Adelaide patted Charlie as Neil took the saddle off of him.

"Is the lad sleeping?"

"No, he's in his cradle with a pacifier. He needs to be put down every once in a while or so I've been told"

Neil smiled. "That's sage advice, lass"

"I agree. How are the Spencers?" Adelaide asked.

"I think it is just spring cold"

She nodded, "I'm glad you checked"

"Aye, me too" Neil leaned down to kiss her. "Is lunch ready?"

"Yes, I just cooked up chicken"

"Did you?"

She smiled, "Don't act so surprised"

"I'm not" Neil kissed her again, "How about you and I pack up the chicken and the babe and take a walk and have a picnic? It's cool today so we need to wrap up the lad well"

"What's the occasion?" Adelaide asked, curiously.

"No occasion" Neil said, "We are supposed to be honeymooning and I would like to spend time with you out of this cabin"

"I'd like that too" Adelaide said as Neil wrapped his arm around her waist and they headed back inside to gather everything.

* * *

"What is this spot?" Adelaide patted Simon as she took in this new spot in the Cove. Flowers bloomed all around them- blues, purples, pinks, yellows splayed across the grassy hill. A clear view of the beloved Smokies and a stream- a bubbling brook with a waterfall. It was the most perfect spot in the entirety of the Cove.

"One of my favorites" Neil said as he reached out for her hand. "Come along. By the brook is the perfect spot for the picnic"

He spread the blanket down and they sat on it and ate until they had their fill.

"I want to pick some flowers"

"Aye, I thought you might" Neil said, "let's leave the lad here on the blanket. He's asleep. No sense on waking him up"

He helped her up and she began to pick a bouquet of flowers, while he made a flower crown, tying them together.

She sat down in the grassy spot amongst the flowers and he sat with her.

"Lets see then" He put the crown on her head, "Perfect"

Her color was good and her smile lit up his heart, moving him to the core.

"This feels special" Adelaide murmured.

"It is special" Neil said, fingering a stray piece of hair. "It's so peaceful and beautiful. I have never wanted to share this place with anybody. There is something sacred to it"

Her heart skipped beats. "You didn't share this place with Margaret...or anybody else?"

"No" Neil confessed, "Only you, Adelaide. You belong here with me. It feels right to bring you here...like your spirit would understand this place"

"Like it needs this place" She reached up to finger his stubble, running her fingers across it. "I'm touched" her voice broke, "more than I can probably express at this moment" Her heart felt very full...and was responding to his in powerful ways- she couldn't deny their connection.

He saw the opening and he took it, pulling her into his arms and kissing her...full of passion and desire and she responded...her kisses coming from her heart. He could sense the change right away and gently pushed her back amongst the flowers and kissed her until he was aching with need for her.

She pulled away, unsure.

"I like kissing you" he kept his voice light, showing her that he wasn't going to push her into intimacy here. "Especially when you kiss me this way"

He moved her and positioned her so her back was to his front, wrapping his arms around her waist. "I like holding you too"

"Neil?"

"Aye, lass?"

"I like this too" Adelaide said, softly, "Very much so" She paused, her face heating up, "And thank you for sharing this place with me. I do feel so much freer...unburdened here"

"It will be our special spot now" Neil promised, "I plan to take you here quite often"

"I'll look forward to it" she said, her heart nearly bursting with emotion...emotion that she couldn't quite define...or maybe emotion that she was too scared to define.

* * *

They returned late that afternoon and had a light supper before they put Simon to bed.

He was in the lab when she came back downstairs.

"I have those articles for you to look at"

Adelaide sat on the bed, pulling her legs up. "Are you really making me read these articles?"

"Aye" Neil met her eyes, "I am actually"

"We had such a lovely afternoon. Are we really going to ruin it by you insisting on treating me like a child?"

"Or will you really ruin it by acting like one?" he challenged.

"Perhaps you have a point" Adelaide hopped up to take the articles from him, "You want these summarized"

"Analyzed is more like it"

"You do know that I will find a way to make these support my claim that corsets are just fine" she told him.

"I look forward to that" Neil said, with a wry smile. "You are too smart for your own good, lass"

"Can I sit here at least with you while you work?" she asked, "If I press onto a book, I can write from the bed"

"If you'd like" Neil responded.

"I would" She settled on the bed and began to read the articles he left for her.

He continued with his work, fighting chuckles at her sighs, grunts and murmurs. He was beginning to understand Simon's constant relenting- when Adelaide applied pressure, it was a sight to see. Still, he wasn't one to back down and he had the added bonus to know that he was completely right in this situation.

"This is ridiculous" Adelaide mumbled, disgruntled.

Neil finally looked up from his vials. "I'm sorry you feel that way. Do you not find the reading stimulating?" he couldn't keep the amusement from his tone.

"There were extenuating circumstances in all of these cases as you very well know" she told him, shaking her finger at him.

"Then include that in your analysis, Nurse Addie"

"Oh, trust me, I will" she grumbled. "I feel like a child, Doctor MacNeill"

"You were acting like one" Neil said.

"Is this how marriage to you is going to be like- with you exerting your authority over me?"

He paused. Maybe it was time to clear the air on a few matters. He put down the vials. "Let's talk about that"

"I'm not going to like this, am I?" she asked.

"Probably not"

She put aside the pen. "Yes, dear?"

A smile danced across his features. It was such a domestic thing for a wife to say to a husband and Adelaide delivered the line so perfectly with her touch of her signature sass, probably to throw him off balanced. In spite of everything challenging and how much of a struggle this had been, she was charming him to pieces.

He reminded himself to focus as he sat down on the bed with her, placing his hand on her knee wanting to ease the way for what was sure to be an area of contention.

"I do expect you to be my wife, Adelaide, and that includes submission"

"I know" Adelaide said, "it's your mountain man in you coming out"

"No, if it was my mountain man in me, then it would be that I _demand_ your submission, not to mention I would have never allowed days to go by without us making love" he told her, candidly.

"I don't particularly like the phrase, 'allow'" Adelaide retorted. "It makes me seem weaker than you"

"Submitting in a marriage doesn't make you weak, lass" he told her, "there has to be a leader"

"Lead then"

"You'll have to _allow_ me to" he looked at her evenly.

"Fair point" she conceded. She struggled.

"What's the issue?"

"I like being in control. I don't want to be bossed around"

"You want to do the bossing"

"Well, yes..."

"Because..."

"I'm usually right in arguments" she said, her tone matter-of fact.

Neil threw his head back and laughed heartedly. "Oh, lass..."

"Don't you think I'm usually right?"

He laughed more, "Not hardly"

"I don't find it funny"

"No, no" Neil touched her chin, "Don't pout"

"I'm not trying to"

"Try harder" Neil advised, patting her knee, "I forget how young you truly are" he murmured. "You still have a lot of maturing to do"

"I rather think becoming a nurse, losing my husband, having a baby has done a lot to mature me" she countered.

"Yes, I agree with that whole heartedly" Neil told her, his voice gentle, "yet, you are naïve at times, Adelaide..."

His censure stung mostly because he was right...and actually it was a kind way of calling her out on the fact that not only was she naïve at times, she did have tendency to want her own way, a stubbornness and sometimes she sulked. She looked down at her hands.

"Did I just hurt your feelings?" his voice was kind.

"Do you think I'll admit to you hurting my feelings?" she asked, examining her thumb.

"I think you should" he told her, "Look at me"

She forced her eyes on him. "Maybe a little...only because I know it is true" she admitted.

"I'm not naïve, Adelaide...but I do stew at times too and like my own way" he turned her to face him. "I have faults too, but if it is a battle between our wills. One of us has to yield"

"That's convenient for you" She said.

"I don't deny that" Neil said, "but honestly, you have to trust my judgment and the fact that I will always try to do right by you and our family. It's not a matter of me ordering you around. I will never be heavy handed with you, but you have to know that your actions have consequences for our marriage"

"I don't understand what you mean" she frowned.

"Let me explain and you try to keep an open mind about you"

"Alright, go on" she nodded.

"If you constantly fight me on things, it will drive a wedge between us" Neil said, "It's what happened with Margaret and we ended up being quite unhappy. I didn't marry you to repeat that"

"I can't just go along..." Adelaide took a breath, "I want a say too"

"You'll get a say" Neil assured her. "As much of a say as you want, but then I want you to submit to me if I disagree"

"Why?"

"I need your respect" he told her, seriously.

"Do I not get respect?"

"You do" Neil countered, "by me providing for you, caring for your needs and not being heavy handed with you" He studied her, "Did marriage not work this way in Asheville?"

She sighed, "No, it did. Maybe, I'm just not made for marriage"

"If there was ever a person made for marriage and motherhood it was you, Mrs. MacNeill"

"You are being sweet again" Adelaide sighed, "It makes me feel wretched"

He smiled. "Does it now?"

"Yes"

"For?"

"Insisting we not make love...among other things..."

"You can change that" he told her, "anytime"

"I know" she looked up at him, tears in her eyes as she wrapped one of his stray curls around her finger, "Neil, we have had a rough start"

"You've made it worse than it had to be" he told her, honestly. "I didn't anticipate it would be this difficult with you"

"Are you disappointed with me?"

"No" he shook his head, swiftly, "concerned is more like it"

"Why are you still so sweet to me?" she sniffled.

"What do you mean?"

"You are being such a wonderful husband to me and a good father to Simon"

"I wouldn't say all that"

"But you are! You eat my burnt meals, you praise me for doing things women in the Cove do every day...and then you give me a bath and rub my back when I'm sore. You challenge me on my stupidity and when you should still be upset with me, instead you take me to your special place and you allow me to have the space I need. I would think you would get frustrated and angry and all sort of things. I wouldn't blame you one bit"

"I did with Margaret easily" he admitted.

"Then why aren't you acting that way with me? Do you think I'm somehow more fragile?"

"No" he shook his head, "you have strength within you that you haven't discovered yet, but I see it. We all see it"

"Then why?"

"I'm trying to be a better man for you, Adelaide. I find that I _want_ to be a better man for you" Neil said, his voice low. "I need you to help me with that instead of hindering me"

Her heart felt full again at his words. She leaned over to kiss his cheek, "I'll try to be a better wife for you, I promise you"

"Good" Neil told her, his eyes on her. "Your day of reckoning is comin soon, my wife"

The quiver returned in her stomach. "Is my reprieve running out?"

"Aye" Neil leaned over to kiss her. "Soon. Finish those articles"

"Okay"

They worked in silence for another half an hour before Adelaide put her pen down. "I'm done, doctor"

"That was quick" Neil commented, "Were you thorough?"

"Aren't I always?"

"True" Neil stepped over to her and she handed it to him, "Lovely penmanship, Mrs. MacNeill"

"I was extra careful" she told him, elbowing him slightly as he sat next to her again.

"Good" he stroked her cheek. "You have ink on your nose" he laughed.

She blushed and giggled. Neil rose to wet a cloth and get it off her nose for her.

"There you are" Neil plopped the towel down on the bed, "You forgot to tell me what conclusions you drew from these"

"Hum" Adelaide looked at him- feeling like she could lose himself in his eyes at that moment. "Not to rub my sore ribs in your presence again?"

"Try again" Neil's voice was deep.

"Not to let you undress me?"

"Woman" Neil grunted.

"Oh was that wrong?" Adelaide asked, innocently.

"Try again" he cocked his head.

"Hum" She sat up on her knees and put her arms around his neck. "That I need to be surer of myself?"

"Closer"

"Corsets are for Asheville" she murmured.

"I can live with that" Neil acknowledged. "If when there, you tie it in a way that doesn't bruise your ribs"

"I usually do" she said, softly. "I had a momentary lapse"

"Why?" he murmured back, them both quite aware at each other's proximity.

"I don't know why"

"Yes you do" his voice was non-judgmental, but she could tell he wanted her to confide in him, "Tell me why, lass"

She paused, "I want to feel like Adelaide again. I need to feel like Adelaide again"

"Hum" Neil responded, taking in that new piece of information. He kissed at her neck before running his hand along her curves and stomach, the post pregnancy bulge still obvious. He rested his hand on it.

She visibly cringed.

"Don't do that" Neil told her, his voice low, his tone accepting. "This doesn't make you less Adelaide. You are a mother now, sweetheart...and a new one at that"

"I'm also a new wife" she told him, biting her lip. "I want to feel like a wife"

"I wasn't aware that it mattered to you"

"It matters so much to me" Adelaide swallowed hard.

"Then why push me away?"

She remained silent, but Neil could tell she was fighting tears.

"I can take you to our bed and make you feel like a wife if you'd allow me to" he offered, "I want that very badly not just for me, but for you"

She sighed, "I don't know"

"Sweetheart" Neil kissed her lips gently, "I gave you your bath a few days ago and I could tell you enjoyed it"

She blushed.

"I enjoyed it too, do you know that?"

She nodded.

"One product of you shutting me out of our bed is that I'm becoming quite eager for you...more than I have ever been before"

Her eyes widened, "Really?"

"Aye" he kissed her again, "But most importantly, I want to know what is going on here" he placed his palm over her heart.

"I wish I knew" she swallowed hard, her throat parched.

"Hum" He kissed her tenderly on the lips then her forehead. "You are confused"

"Yes"

"Will you tell me what about?"

"Not now" she said, softly.

"You used to trust me with everything" Neil said.

"I still do" she said. "It's...it's too much"

"Whatever it is, I won't think less of you" he said, "you have to trust the man you were willing to marry"

She nodded.

"I want you to think about what you want from our marriage" Neil said, quietly, "We will talk in a few days"

"Okay" she responded, knowing that in a few days, she would have to open her heart to him. That thought terrified her, but the truth was she did trust him. She just had to trust herself as well.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: **This chapter is long overdue. Sorry for the wait! Would love to know what you think. Suggestive themes in this chapter...

**Different Path Chapter 9**:

"Adelaide" Neil stood with her as she juggled Simon, who had just fallen asleep, "I'll get the cradle and we can lay him down here where it is warm"

"Why?" she whispered, patting the babe's back.

"We are making love tonight" he told her, his tone matter of fact.

She froze, startled by the way he made that announcement. He was so calm- almost nonchalant, like it was nothing for them to do this. "Ar...are we?"she stammered.

"It's been a while" he told her. "And I've given you the time you said you needed, but I really think you will never want to make love with me again if I don't force your hand. I told you reckoning time was comin and it's here, wife"

"It's not that simple" Adelaide protested.

"I never said it was simple, lass" he retorted, "but you had to know that my patience was going to run out"

"Are you impatient with me?"

"No, sweetheart" Neil smiled at her, cocking his head towards her, "more like _for_ you"

"Neil, I'm just..." she took a breath, trying to steel her nerves, but she couldn't hide the panic and fear from her expression. It was fleeting, but Neil, ever observant, didn't miss it.

"I'm not going to hurt you, woman" Neil told her, "we are just making love"

"But, I'm not ready for this"

"We'll talk about it further when we go upstairs" he said, not allowing more room for her to argue. He ran upstairs and brought the cradle down, sitting it near the fire. "Put the babe in bed"

"Good night, baby boy" Adelaide kissed Simon's head and eased him into the cradle. Neil made sure he tucked the blankets around him securely so he wouldn't shift him in his sleep. He rubbed his cheek, tenderly. "Night son"

She adored those tender fathering moments between Neil and the baby. It melted her heart, but still she was so unsure of all of this.

"Now" Neil reached for her hand, holding it tightly in his, "come with me" He led her up the stairs to their bedroom. "You are shaking" he said as they entered their bedroom, "I'm not going to pounce on you, Adelaide" He squeezed her hand and rubbed it soothingly with his thumb. "We will talk and get you sorted"

"I'm not sure I'll ever get sorted" Adelaide responded, her throat dry.

"Now, that is a horrible attitude to have" Neil chided as he released her hand and walked over to their dresser and hunted for a nightgown for her. He tossed it to her. "Catch"

She caught her nightgown, gripping it with her hands.

"Will wearing that make you feel better?"

"Not exactly"

"Get dressed for bed" Neil told her.

She frowned, but began to unbutton her dress, her back turned to him. She knew he was right, but still, she didn't really want to. She pulled on her nightgown and then began to take the pins out of her hair.

"Wait" Neil's voice was tender. "I'll do that for you"

"Please don't be so kind to me right now" she said, softly.

"Is it really that much easier to make me the enemy, Adelaide?" his voice was low as he began to unpin her hair.

"You aren't the enemy" Adelaide said, "I've never thought that"

"Are you going to deny me tonight?" his voice was even.

"And if I do?"

"I don't know" Neil said, quietly. "You know I would never force you, but I need you to at least talk through this with me" He paused, "Are you going to deny me, lass?" he repeated.

Her heart pounded as her stomach twisted. Whatever her answer, there was no turning back. She thought for a few moments, watching Neil tenderly unpin her hair, placing the pins on the dresser. She thought of all those moments from these past few days... but also even before they were married. He was a good man and he was so good to her. Could she really deny him this? She had her answer.

"No" her voice was hoarse. "Of course, I won't. It makes me feel bad that you have been so understanding and wonderful and I've been..." she paused, struggling, "well, not so"

"Please don't ask me to be less of a man than I want to be right now to ease your guilty conscience" he countered, his tone even, as he took the last pin from her hair. Adelaide's hands reached out for the dresser, leaning on it for support, as she ducked her head.

Neil didn't make a comment at the move, only reached for her hairbrush, brushing it out. "You have tangles"

She winced and he eased his efforts, "I didn't brush it this morning"

"Why not?" he asked.

"Simon was screaming so I put it up quickly"

"He needs to learn patience" he murmured. "You..." he paused, amending his word, "_we_ have to teach him that, otherwise he'll never learn that he has to wait on things"

"He comes by it honestly"

"That he does...from both of us, though I'm not sure if I count in the equation"

"I think you count- he will learn so much from you" Adelaide said.

"I hope more good than bad"

"I'm sure of that, Neil" she responded, "I couldn't have asked for a better man to raise Simon"

"I know the lad is only a wee thing, but I am awfully fond of him" Neil admitted. "I feel lucky, lass"

"Even now when you know our faults?"

"Aye" Neil told her, as he continued brushing through the tangles, trying to get the knots out. He was gentle, but persistent to get every tangle, every knot out. "I've never seen your hair this tangled"

She swallowed hard, "It seems like a metaphor for my heart these days"

"I think there is a lesson there, Mrs. MacNeill" he responded as he finished brushing out her hair.

"Perhaps so"

"Do you want me to braid it?"

"What would you prefer?" Adelaide raised her head.

"Down"

"Then we'll leave it down" She turned around, "Thank you, Neil"

He nodded.

"Now what?" she asked, her eyes on him.

"Now" Neil reached over and squeezed her hand, "You tell me what is going on with you and we work through the tangles in your heart"

"I don't know where to begin" Adelaide said, quietly as she went to sit on the bed, Neil still standing and leaning against the dresser.

"We made love a few times that first two days and then all the sudden, you push me away, saying you need more time. I didn't push you, but I want to know why now"

"What makes you think there is a specific reason?" she asked.

"You said that there was"

"Did I?" Adelaide asked, rubbing her sweaty palms on her thighs. "I don't remember that"

"Don't shut me down, Adelaide. You know exactly what I am referring to" he retorted, "It's high time for you to talk to me"

"I can't" she shook her head, swiftly.

"Yes, you can" he said, evenly, "We are in this marriage together for the rest of our lives. Tell me"

She bit her lip, contemplating his words.

At her hesitation, he added, "Trust me with this. I'll be sensitive to your feelings"

"I know that" her voice was hoarse. He was right once again. They were in this together and he had the right to know what was bothering her.

"Go on then. Don't be afraid"

"I..." she sighed, "What do you want to know?"

"Why don't you start with what was said at the ladies' sewing circle that bothered you?" Neil asked, quietly, "Fairlight said there was some talk of my marriage to Margaret"

Adelaide's lip trembled. "I'm not repeating what they said"

"I think you must" he retorted, evenly, "if whatever they said is causing you to stop wanting to be my wife"

"Just because I don't want us to make love, doesn't mean that I stopped being your wife" she said, an edge to her voice.

"I understand what you mean" Neil told her, "you are doing a fine job of the other things..."

She looked at him, wearily, "not truly"

He smiled at her, "You are getting there, sweetheart, but at the same time, if I wanted a housekeeper I could have hired one"

"This is more affordable"

He raised his eyebrow, "With a child involved?"

She winced, "Point taken"

"Truth is, I didn't marry you for your housekeeping skills...and there are other things besides that you do quite well"

"Which is?"

"Being my friend" Neil said, quietly. "I love coming home to you, Adelaide. But at the same time, when we exchanged vows, we committed to more. And sex is definitely part of marriage...a healthy part, but I agree it's not the only part. But I think you knew that already"

"Are you suggesting that I'm trying to pick a fight with you?" Adelaide titled her head.

"I think you know better than that" Neil responded, his eyes twinkling, "More like you are trying to distract me. Now, tell me what was said"

"I'm embarrassed about it"

"About what was said or your reaction to it?" he inquired.

"Both"

"Okay" Neil's voice was patient. His mouth quirked into a grin, "A little embarrassment might be a good thing at times, lass. Keeps you humble"

"I didn't realize I need a dose of humility" Adelaide said, a trace of a smile, "that's a little bit pot and kettle, don't you think?"

"Fair point" Neil laughed, "My pride far outweighs yours. Now, don't be embarrassed. We are both adults here. Just tell me what they said"

She twisted her hands, "They implied that...Margaret and you...that you were quite..." she fought for the right words that wouldn't make her feel totally improper, "satisfied with her...um... charms"

He inclined his head, "Is that it? You know how I felt about my wife, Adelaide. I have told you that"

"Of course..." she took a breath.

"I fail to see what is so horrible"

"I never said it was horrible" her face flushed.

"So..." he waited before continuing, "You have to give me more"

"They just said that for you and Margaret, things were quite passionate...that she...must have...been really..." she shook her head. "I can't figure out a proper way to say this"

"So be improper, Adelaide" he told her, firmly, "What are you getting at?"

"They implied that...well, you married Margaret because she was beautiful and attractive in a lot of ways appealing to a man" she groaned, "that your relationship was primarily because of how well you two got along in certain ways...that she kept you satisfied" she swallowed hard. "in bed and that level of passion is important to a man like you...necessary even to be content with a spouse..."

His eyebrow rose, "Oh God, Adelaide, don't be ridiculous"

"I'm just..." she held up her hands. "_I don't know_. I'm just repeating what I heard"

"And that makes it right?" He stared her down, "since when have you taken idle prattle like that to heart?"

"You aren't denying it"

"Of course I'm not" Neil said, exasperated, "I'm not dignifying it with a denial"

"Because it is partly true?" she asked.

"So, what if things were passionate between my wife and I?" Neil asked, crossing his arms. "Were things not that way between you and Simon?"

"Yes, they were, I guess" she frowned, "but I mean..."

"What?" he demanded, his voice sharp. "What exactly do you mean?"

"You said you would be patient" Adelaide reminded him as she twisted her hands together.

Neil let out his breath, "Oh, believe me, lass, this is patient" He paused, before asking bluntly, "Did Simon keep you satisfied in bed?"

Her eyes widened at his question. "_Neil_"

"So you can ask about me and Margaret but I can't ask about Simon and you?"

"This isn't about me and Simon" she said, defensively, "It's about you and me"

"No, apparently, it's about myself and Margaret" Neil said, shaking his head, "My point is that I don't want to discuss that anymore than I want to hear how it was between you and Simon. They have no bearing on you and I and what happens in this bedroom, do you understand?"

"But that's not entirely true" Adelaide responded, holding her ground, "Our experiences have shaped the way we feel about relationships and marriage..."

Neil shook his head from side to side, "that is true, lass, but..." he paused, "even if some comparisons are natural, it's unproductive to do so...and honestly, especially this, it's private"

"Okay, I wasn't thinking. I'm sorry" she pulled her legs up and buried her head in her knees.

"Sweetheart" Neil let out a long breath. "What is it? Lift up your head and talk to me"

She lifted her head, her gaze troubled.

"What is it?" Neil repeated. "Why does what they said bother you so much?"

"She pleased you" Adelaide's lip trembled. "I'll never be her...I'm not that brazen and I...I must be such a disappointment to you. I want you happy and I feel like I'll never be that woman you need"

"Ah, I am beginning to see what is going on here" he told her, "Adelaide, listen to me, lass. Margaret may have pleased me sexually, but I was not happy in our relationship...contrary to what those women might think, that did not define my relationship with Margaret nor is that the most important about a relationship. Don't mistake me, I like sex...and I want it...often...but your body is not the reason why I am attracted to you"

She swallowed hard, "So, you...you don't like my body?"

"Blast it, Adelaide" Neil groaned, "That is _not _what I meant. Clearly, I am attracted to you physically, but I'm also attracted to your mind and your spirit. There is more than just sex to us"

"Are you happy in our relationship?"

"Not entirely" he admitted.

"See, I'll never be able to do this"

"No, don't use it as an excuse to push me away further" Neil told her, pointing his finger at her. "I think we can be happy. I want us to be happy- in our love making and in other things, but you have to relax enough to be open to what we can have together. Stop defeating us"

"I'm not trying to" Adelaide said, quietly. "Do you think I like how I'm feeling?"

"No of course not, but..." He paused and sighed. "Tell me about the corset"

Adelaide shrugged, "What about it?"

"You didn't..." he took a breath, "that had nothing to do with all of this, did it?"

She bit her lip and remained silent.

"Adelaide" he prompted.

"I want to feel beautiful again. I want you to see me the way that I'm sure you saw Margaret and the way you still look at Christy"

"I don't look at Christy any differently than I look at you"

"That's the point" Adelaide exclaimed, "you should look at me differently than her. I'm your wife"

"You are nitpicking there"

"I'm not" Adelaide held up her hands, "I just feel like...you shared a moment with her. You always share moments with her"

"A moment?" he snorted, "you are out of your mind, woman"

"No, I'm not"

"Yes, you are. I haven't shared those types of moments with Christy for months now!"

"When I came back downstairs when Christy came to visit" Adelaide said, "you were deep in conversation and when I handed Simon to you, you two looked at each other the way you used to"

"Adelaide" Neil groaned, "That's not true"

"Maybe you don't even realize you are doing it" she whispered, "but it was there"

"I wouldn't betray you" his voice was low.

"I'm not saying you are doing anything wrong" Adelaide defended, tears threatening to fall. "It's natural given the circumstances, but I don't have to like it"

"Why are you acting so damn insecure, Adelaide?" Neil demanded, "You have never seemed that way before"

She paused, before blurting out, angrily, "I'm not being insecure. Any woman would feel the way I do"

"I highly doubt that" Neil said, "unless you are saying women in general are insecure and irrational"

Adelaide's temper heightened significantly.

"Do you want to know why I'm so _insecure_?" Adelaide glared at him, "I'll tell you"

"I'm listening"

"Maybe it's because I could be your dead wife's twin...only tons of baby pounds heavier. I'm like her replacement for you but a shoddy one at that. How do you think _that_ makes me feel?"

His eyebrows shot up at her sudden temper and the incendiary nature of her statement, and she continued, "or maybe that you were in love with_ my sister _only five months ago and I think you still might be...maybe you don't realize this, but I look awfully similar to my sister, except again...just a bit heavier...maybe not quite the replacement you were hoping for..."

"_Adelaide_, that's enough" he admonished.

"Oh, no, I'm not done" she held up her hand, "you said you wanted me to talk you so now you have to listen...Or just maybe, it's because I married you when neither of us are in love with each other. The Cove forced this on you. I wasn't your choice" She swiped at her tears, "I don't know, do you want a list, Neil? I can write it down for you. I'm sure I can come up with more"

He stared at her. "Come here" his tone compelled her to rise and move in front of him.

He reached to grasp her face in his hand, turning it towards him. "I did make a choice, lass. I chose _you_." he kissed her, passionately, unguarded, making her weak in the knees. All reason left her in that kiss even though she knew her objections were valid.

"Neil" she was breathless. "Please" she was mush in his arms.

"You enjoy this, don't you?"

"Stop this" she tried to fight against it, but he continued to kiss her. "You know I'm right"

"Let go of it, Adelaide" Neil said against her mouth, "All of it"

She ripped herself away and this time, he let her, "It's not that easy"

"Do you know what I think? All of those are excuses, hiding your real problem" Neil told her, his hands on her waist, steadying her.

"Which would be?"

"I think you are scared"

"Of what?"

"Of finding pleasure with your husband"

"Um, no" Adelaide shook her head, "That's not it, but looking at it like that is awfully convenient for you"

"And all those other things are awfully convenient for you to distract from what is really bothering you"

"It's not that I'm scared of this"

"I think it is. You are so reserved" he said, "each time we make love, you hold back. You aren't that timid, woman."

"What if I am?" She demanded, "Do you even know me?"

"I do know you!" Neil's voice rose. "And what I don't know, I want to learn so help me here"

"I don't know what you want. Maybe I am a timid person"

"Like hell you are, Adelaide" Neil said, "You went against your parents to become a nurse. You snuck into that lecture of Simon's. You worked after you married him. You stayed here. You stood up to me many times and you stood up to Doctor Ferrand. You aren't shy or timid at all, but when it comes to this...you can't let go. You let go an inch and then you freeze up. You told me that you are feeling things when we make love, so why are you not showing it? Why are you stifling those feelings?"

"I was taught that it was bad to show those feelings, okay?" Adelaide retorted, "That this whole process was bad and secretive and unpleasant. It is for your husband and you must endure it"

"You know it isn't" Neil said, "You learned that with Simon"

"Yes" she said, "but Simon was different than you. He felt safe"

"Safe?"

"Comfortable" she said, "he never pushed me to be different. You push me. Why?"

"I want you to feel and experience this the way it's supposed to be felt and experienced"

"The way you experienced this with Margaret?" she asked, challenging him.

"No, the way I want to experience it with _you_" he told her. "I don't think of Margaret when we are in bed together and I certainly don't compare our love making to how I made love with her. Margaret is the furthest person from my mind these days, but you insist on bringing her into our marriage. I don't see you as anyone's replacement. I see you as you, no one else"

"So it's a coincidence?"

"Yes" Neil said, "it actually is. You have to stop with this. Adelaide, when I say I desire you and that I am attracted to you, I'm not lying. You may feel a certain way, but that's not how I see you. I'm not the problem here"

"That's what I'm saying. I know I'm the problem" Adelaide huffed. "Aren't you listening?"

"All of that is nonsense, Adelaide" Neil retorted, "What's holding you back?"

"Nothing is holding me back"

"Sex is supposed to be enjoyable. You act like it is a chore"

"That's unfair" She glared at him.

"It is true" Neil said.

"Why do you have to be like this?" Adelaide groaned. "Must you always be an insufferable know it all?"

"There you are" He pointed his finger at her. "You know I'm right"

"I'm so angry at you right now" Adelaide said.

"Good, the truth hurts at time, lass" Neil captured her mouth, "be angry, Adelaide. Feel something when we do this"

"Stop that" Adelaide pulled away again. "I feel a lot, Neil. Trust me, I do"

"Then, what is your problem?" he asked, quietly, "You are holding us back from it being enjoyable."

She bit her lip and her eyes teared over.

"Let me make love to you, Adelaide" he told her, his voice become extremely loving and tender, "I want to so badly"

"You can't make love to me, Neil" she blurted out.

"Why is that?"

"Because you don't love me, that's why" she said, heatedly. "Let's not fool ourselves. Call it for what it is. All this is sex and what you must think to be quite bad sex at that. Why do you even want this?"

"Adelaide, lass" He froze.

Mortified at her outburst and her absolute lack of decorum, she turned away, the tears spilling over. He reached out, gripped her arm and turned her back towards him. He tipped her face up. "Can we just leave this be, please? I'm begging you, Neil, forget I said that"

"Ah, lass, I wish I could" Neil said, shaking his head, "We need to get this out. It's too important to gloss over"

"Why?" her voice broke.

"You know why" he told her, quietly. "Do our lack of feelings bothers you?"

Her temper deflated, "It's different for a woman" she was defeated. "This is just sex for you, plain and simple" She paused, "I don't feel desirable, but if we had love between us, that wouldn't matter, it would be enough for us just to be together. But since we don't have feelings, it makes things like physical attraction and desire so much more important- and I know when compared to the other women you actually loved, right now...I can't compare...in love and certainly not in attraction...or skill...or..." she sniffled, "oh, my mother would be horrified"

"She's not here" Neil countered, "And if this is you being the real you with me, that's what I want. But what you just said about not comparing, it's simply not the case"

"How can you say that?"she asked. "Rationally, you must know it is true"

"Oh, lass" Neil chuckled softly, searching her face. "Reason has no place in matters of the heart"

"But this isn't about matters of the heart" her voice was small. "It has never been about that"

"Oh, Adelaide, lass" Neil's expression was pained, "I'm so sorry"

"No, Neil, _I'm _sorry because I know that my inhibitions are holding us back and you have been so patient and kind and I'm a mess and I know that, but..." her lip trembled. "It bothers me that it is not more than just sex- that there is no intimacy between us...and then" she took a breath, "it bothers me that I want intimacy between us. I know many women marry for practical reasons- have arranged marriages...I should just be mature about this, but I want it to feel like there is something more than just physical"

"Of course you do" Neil said, his voice tender, soothing her vulnerability. "It's not that we had an arranged marriage and you didn't know me before. And this is very much about matters of the heart"

"You want me to enjoy this between us" Adelaide's voice cracked as she began to cry, "but it feels so wrong, especially considering..."

"Considering what?"

"Well, your feelings..."

"My feelings?" Neil asked.

"Yes, for my sister"

He sighed heavily. "I have really botched this up, haven't I?"

"What do you mean?"

"Adelaide, this is not just sex for me" Neil told her, quietly. "It has never been that way for me"

"I don't understand"

He studied her intently, "Come here" he pulled her close to him and kissed her forehead and each of her cheeks. "Adelaide..." he struggled. "Sweetheart"

She pulled away, "What is it?" She rarely saw Neil's emotions and it shocked her.

"It's not just sex for me because it's...well, lass, it _is_ with the woman I love"

She titled her head, not comprehending, "I don't think I understand you"

"It's special to me because it's with you" Neil told her, thumbing away her tears. "Because I love you, Adelaide"

"You love me?" her lip trembled. "_me_?"

"Don't act so shocked, lass" Neil responded, continuing to wipe the tears that were now rapidly falling, "You are so easy to love"

"It's just..." Adelaide looked at him through her tears, "you never once said that you felt more"

"Aye, I didn't want to say anything because I know you aren't ready to hear this so soon after losing Simon and I was afraid it would spook you even more, but you are working under false assumptions so perhaps it is time for us to get a few things straight" He smoothed her hair away to prevent it from becoming plastered to her face, "When I say that I think that we will get there and be happy in our making love and in our marriage, I mean it, Adelaide. And when I say that you have never been any one's replacement, I mean that too. I fell in love with my best friend...and there is only one woman I have ever considered my best friend"

"Me?" Adelaide sobbed.

"Yes, you, silly one" Neil said, wiping her tears. "Margaret was too selfish to be a good friend and Christy didn't understand me the way you do. I love you, woman and because of that, it's not about sex, it is about love making"

"But it is so awkward between us" she sniffled. "I'm going to disappoint you again"

"That's not true, Adelaide" he answered, patiently, "I don't hold any expectations, except asking you to try. Be open. Don't hold back from me. I want to make love to you the way a husband makes love to his wife- the woman who he desires over all else"

She looked at him for another minute, taking in his words and her defenses crumbled under the knowledge that he cared for her. Not her sister, but her.

"I thought..." her lip trembled, "Oh, God...I was so entirely foolish"

"What is it?" her searched her face.

"I thought you still loved Christy" her voice was hoarse, "I was so sure of it. And I hated the thought that she still had your heart"

"Did you?" he looked at her, evenly. "Why did that bother you so?"

"I don't know" she whispered.

He studied her for another moment and wisely knew not to push her. He shook his head swiftly, "No, lass. I haven't loved your sister for some time. You are capturing my heart in ways that Christy never touched...actually in a way that no other woman has touched before"

"Not even..."

"No, lass, not even Margaret"

He knew how to speak to her heart, but in a lot of ways, he always did know how. She marveled at his words for a moment, soaking in the weight of them, before melting and launching herself forward to kiss him, with all the emotion she couldn't speak right now. He loved her. She was special to him. This was special to him.

He backed her up into the dresser, pinning her against it.

"I want to make you happy with this- with everything. It pains me to know that I haven't been making you happy" she admitted, her breathing labored. "I care so much about what you think on everything and I don't understand why, all I know is I want you happy with me"

"You will make me happy with this, Adelaide, just let go of what's holding you back. You don't have to be perfect at this. I promise I'm not grading you"

"I may be a wee bit of a perfectionist"

"That may be a _wee_ bit of an understatement" Neil looked into her eyes, "Just be open to what we can have together."

She reached to finger his curl, "I know I was married before, but Simon never did push me more than what I gave him. I feel you want more..." she paused.

"Fire?" Neil smiled at her.

She nodded, "Less inhibitions"

"Most definitely" he said, "and you know with this and other things, I want to grow with you. All I can tell you is that we'll learn together how to find our passion..." he looked at her, tenderly, "and how to help you let go of all those years of inhibition."

"I don't know how I feel about you though" she responded, "my feelings are so jumbled right now. You make me feel things and I don't know how to deal with all of this"

"That's okay" he breathed against her, "Just let me love you. Don't shut yourself off anymore. That's enough for me right now" He grabbed her by her waist and plopped her up onto the dresser.

"Are you sure?" she murmured.

"I'm positive, my love"

"Do you think it is okay to enjoy it when I'm unsure?"

"I know for certain it is" he began to plant tender kisses over her body and she moaned.

"Neil, but what if this is..." she started to say, but he interrupted her,

"Quiet, stop analyzing everything. There is time for that later. I'm making love to my wife now and damn it, Adelaide, we are _both_ going to enjoy it" he told her, adamantly. "We aren't stopping until you have given into me. I don't care how long it takes" He picked her up in his arms and carried her to their bed, determined to work this out between them. He laid her on their bed before shrugging off his clothes and then joining her.

They laid together, kissing, caressing, loving...Neil was exploring her body making her feel more alive than she had in ages and she was responding with a fire that she didn't know she had.

"_Wait_"

Desperate to regain control, Adelaide pulled away, looking into his eyes, her breath labored as their passion was taking over, causing her senses to explode with desire. She could feel her losing herself to him, fully, completely, and with an intensity that frightened her.

He stilled immediately, "What is it, love?"

"I'm not sure" she breathed again, "This is so intense between us...I'm not sure...it's too much" she said as she clung to him and he held her, securely in his arms.

"It's alright" he kissed her gently. "We'll slow down. We don't have to rush this at all"

"I...I don't know if I can do this with you" she said, her lip trembling, "it feels so different than before. I feel out of control"

"Good" Neil squeezed her tightly, "that's what we want"

"I'm not sure I want that" she said, honestly.

"You do- deep down, I know you do" Neil insisted. "Don't be scared of our passion, Adelaide. This thing we have between us- it's special"

"You have such control over me though" she said, looking into his eyes.

"I'll let you in on a secret" he whispered in her ear, "you have far more control in this situation than I do. I look at you...and touch you...and I lose myself in you"

"Truly?"

"Completely" Neil said. "And I love every minute of it. Don't hold back from me, love. Just let go. I'm right here with you" He kissed her again and she melted against him.

A while later, he held her tightly in his arms.

"Neil" She breathed into him.

"Are you okay?" he asked gently, pulling her tightly against his side. He felt so fiercely protective of her...so tender towards her in the aftermath of their lovemaking. He knew how much it took for her to be that free with him and he wanted to reassure her.

"I think so" she trembled. "You are persistent"

He chuckled, "I told you I was"

"You don't exaggerate" she responded, "Hold me?"

"I'm not going anywhere" he told her, stroking a hand through her damp hair. "That was wonderful. Thank you, Adelaide" he said, her shivering against him, trying to get a hold of her emotions.

"You're welcome" she murmured.

"Your hair is all tangled again" he told her, absently.

"I need a bath"

"We can get you a bath tonight if you'd like" he said, "it's still early yet"

"But Ruby Mae says only to bathe once a year"

Neil snorted, "Like ye would ever do that"

"No" she said, "Bath later for sure"

"Use that lavender soap I love"

"You like lavender soap?" Adelaide teased.

"Well, for you, not for me" Neil clarified, swatting her hip playfully. "Actually, I'll give you a bath tonight"

"Will you now?" Adelaide sighed, "That sounds naughty"

He laughed, "I may have a little bit of naughty intentions by offering to" he admitted.

She grinned. "You are insatiable, husband. Granny was right"

Neil snorted, "Granny was being ridiculous"

"Hum" she snuggled even closer into him and they fell silent. But as she laid there with him in the quiet, feeling his steady heart beat against her ear, she allowed her thoughts...and her doubts to take over once again.

Her mind began to race, trying to sort out her feelings in the aftermath of their passion. She was attracted to him, that was for sure and she cared for him so much, but to allow herself to become so passionate with a man, even if that man was now her husband, so soon after Simon's death...Loving Simon was comfortable, it was easy, it was safe. This...it didn't feel safe. It felt like her heart could burst at times from the intensity of it all. And knowing that...was she betraying Simon to feel that way with another man? It took them ages to get to the point Neil and her were now and that fact made her feel like a horrid person- like she was giving Neil more than what she gave Simon initially. The guilt was building, crushing her as she clung to Neil, her head against his chest.

They laid in silence for a few minutes, Neil becoming worried about how pensive she had become as they laid together. He could tell she was struggling, but before he could speak, Adelaide pulled away and told him, "I need some water. I'll be back in a few minutes" She reached for her nightgown and then her dressing gown.

"I'll get it for you" he said. "You rest here"

"That's sweet, Neil, but I'm dressed already" she said as she tied the sash to her gown.

"You know you don't have to get dressed to go downstairs" he told her.

"So you say" she responded and forced a smile.

Neil wasn't overly surprised when he heard the door click shut and his wife's muffled sobs from their porch.

* * *

Adelaide sat on the porch in the cold, her head in her hands and sobbed. Neil gave her a few minutes before finding her and sitting next to her, a glass of water in his hands.

"You forgot about this" he said, dangling the glass in front of her.

"I did, didn't I?" She took it.

"Drink it"

"Why?" she stared at the glass.

"All that crying must make you thirsty"

"Hum" She drank it and sat it next to her, shivering in her dressing gown. "You weren't supposed to hear me"

"The walls are thin" Neil said, "you might as well just stayed in our room and cried- then you wouldn't be so cold"

"That's awfully practical" she said.

"Aye" he reached to rub her back. "Why are you crying?" he asked, softly.

She shrugged, not wanting to admit the truth.

"Surely you must know" he said. "What is it?"

She remained silent and he turned her tear-stained face towards him.

"You enjoyed it with me tonight" his voice was low.

She blushed. "Yes, enormously, Neil. It was beyond wonderful"

He brushed her hair that was plastered to her face from her tears. "It's a good thing, lass, that you found that pleasure with me. It's how it is supposed to be between us" he said. "Making love isn't just for my benefit, it's for yours as well. I loved giving that pleasure to you." He paused at her wince, "Adelaide, do you not want to enjoy it?" he asked, directly, picking up immediately on her stress.

She bit her lip, "No"

"Is that why you have been holding back?"

"Let's go back inside, it's cold" she stood, but he grabbed her arm.

"No, you can't just walk away when things become difficult for you. I want an answer" he pulled her back down beside him.

"I suppose so"

"Why wouldn't you want to enjoy sex?" he looked at her, incredulously.

She looked at him, "I feel like I betrayed Simon tonight" her voice was distraught.

"Oh God, Adelaide" Neil stilled, not expecting that. "Do you really?" he fought to keep his tone neutral.

"Yes, and now I feel like I'm betraying you to feel that way" she bit her lip. "You asked and I answered. May I go now?"

"No" Neil shook his head, "Let's talk about it"

"This is making me feel horrid" she sniffled, beginning to cry harder again. "I don't want to talk about these feelings. You don't like talking about feelings, why must I?"

"Because you internalize and stress about your feelings and that isn't healthy" Neil retorted, "I want us to have a strong marriage, Adelaide and I want you to feel secure and happy In our marriage and in our future together. I'm your husband, I'm supposed to provide that for you. Don't you want a strong marriage?"

"I do want that" she whispered, "more than anything. Being passionate with you- like that, letting you stir me like that...I felt completely lost to you...so vulnerable with you"

"I know you did, but I don't understand why you think that is so bad" Neil said, "that's actually healthy for our marriage"

"I know" she said, softly, "And that's when I don't know who to be loyal to. It's so soon after Simon's death. I don't want to move on so quickly that it was like our relationship wasn't special because it was. I don't want to betray him. He was so good to me...but I'm so afraid that" she let out her breath, "I don't think I was a very good wife to him"

"In what way?" his voice was even.

"In a lot of ways" Adelaide's voice was soft as she sniffled.

"In this way specifically?"

She nodded.

"Sweetheart" he murmured as he moved closer to her and she dropped her head on his shoulder.

"You were right- I have always been inhibited and we had something beautiful, but it could have been more. It should have been more"

"No, don't do that to yourself" Neil held her against him, "He was happy with you, lass. I never saw a man so in love with a woman...and rightfully so...Did he seem unhappy with your love making?"

"We shouldn't discuss Simon and I" Adelaide shook against him, "you said so"

"If you are this upset, we should" Neil assured her, holding her tightly, "no particulars though. Did he seem unhappy in that area of your marriage?"

"No, he seemed happy with it" Adelaide said, "but..."

"No buts then, Adelaide" Neil cut her off.

"It's not just the love making, Neil" Adelaide cried, "He wanted a child and I held us off for months after my miscarriage. He could have had the chance to know his son or daughter if it wasn't for me. All of my inhibitions...all of my fears, it held us back. I cheated him, Neil"

"No, sweetheart" he rocked her, "you can't go back and change that- he wouldn't want you to flog yourself over it"

"And the fact I could love you...I can't, Neil" Adelaide panicked, "I can't ever do this again with you. We should have never married. I...I am not good at being married...and Simon deserved better than me moving on so quickly."

"Stop" Neil reached to grab his face in his hands, "I will not have you torture yourself like this" he told her, firmly, "You can be loyal to both of us. It's not a betrayal to Simon what just happened between us. You can't stifle the passion that is very much a part of who you are"

"But you don't understand. I'm not a passionate person, Neil" Adelaide said, tears falling quickly.

"Yes, you are" he countered, "you just showed it. And you are passionate about medicine, why not about this as well?"

"It took me ages to be this free with Simon. You and I are so intense together...it does feel like I'm betraying him to feel so much with you so quickly"

"Adelaide" He stroked her hair.

"You must think I am completely ridiculous"

"No, not at all" he told her, "but maybe a bit misguided"

"How's that?" She asked.

"For one, you and Simon had your marriage under the confines of society's expectations" he told her, quietly. "you were taught not to let yourself go like that"

"True" she said slowly, "but, Simon and I were never much for society. I hate that I realize now that I was holding back from him some. I was still unsure of myself, not quite as open as I might have should be...part of me was still embarrassed by all of this"

"Do feel embarrassed with me?"

She snuggled closer into him. "When we first made love those few times, extremely, especially when you insisted on us doing so in broad daylight"

"I could tell that bothered you" he said, quietly, "and again, that's a result of the confines you lived under. It's a product of your upbringing, nothing else. Did you feel embarrassed just now?"

"No" Adelaide said, "you allowed me to be myself, gave me confidence and...it wasn't that Simon didn't...oh, Neil, God, I don't know" She pulled away from him and buried her head in her hands.

"Okay, let's think of it a different way. You came to Simon completely naïve...you were learning to be a woman with Simon, Adelaide. With me, you are already a woman. It's not a betrayal to him. It's just a document of how much you have grown into yourself. You aren't that young woman anymore, Adelaide, learning about how to love. Simon gave that to you, I'm just reaping the benefits"

"He gave so much to me" Adelaide said, lifting her head to look at him, "but you do too. More than I could have imagined and infinitely more than I deserve...My feelings are so confused right now"

He was quiet for a few minutes before speaking, his voice low.

"Adelaide, you have to live your life. Don't let your grief rob you of the joys that life has to offer"

She trembled, "I'm scared when I think that I could fall in love with you. I don't know if I _want_ to fall in love with you"

"I know" He kissed her head. "Why would you want to when opening up to Simon ended in his death?"

"Exactly"

"But here's the thing. I'm going to married to you for the rest of our lives. We can either embrace this or have a very lonely marriage"

"You must regret marrying me"

"No" Neil told her, "I love you so it breaks my heart to see you struggle so"

"I just can't wrap my head around all of this"

"So, stop thinking about it. Just let it happen. We have the rest of our lives for you to get your feelings sorted"

"I just feel so much guilt" she told him, honestly, "You love me. I'm not sure. Simon died less than a year ago and I'm already married and finding pleasure with another man. I just want to run, Neil. I want to run far away"

"I know" his hand rubbed her back, gently, "Please don't run"

She sniffled, "I won't"

He paused and then titled her chin towards him, "And don't go back to holding back from me. That's not going to make you happy"

"It was so much easier when it was uncomfortable between us"

Neil laughed under his breath, "Now, that is a bad thought, Adelaide, love"

"Yes" she sighed heavily, "I know"

He kissed her cheek. "I had a thought just now. Did Simon ever explain to you physically how this works?"

"Um" Adelaide looked at him, quizzically, "like...medically?"

"Aye, what we know as doctors and the body" Neil clarified.

"I know how this works" Adelaide laughed through her tears, "I was married"

"But do you actually?" Neil said, his voice kind.

"Well" Adelaide shifted, "I wouldn't call myself an expert. I understand the basics"

"That's what I thought" Neil smiled at her, "Did you ever wonder about some things?"

"Yes of course" Adelaide responded.

"You have a curious mind" Neil chuckled, "but your upbringing got in the way of asking, didn't it?"

"Well, I did ask some" Adelaide blushed, "but we just focused on me trying to experience it without feeling ashamed and then after that, it was fine, so I didn't think I should ask and bring up things that I might get embarrassed about"

Neil's eyes danced, "That's what I suspected. The truth is if I touch you a certain way, your body will respond in certain ways and vice versa...it's nature and completely normal"

"That sounds so clinical" Adelaide said, "not romantic at all"

"Our feelings enhance it, but perhaps knowing this can take some of the guilt away" Neil reached for her and put her on his lap, "Do you want me to give you a medical lesson?"

"Are you teasing me?"

He shook his head, solemnly, "No, lass, not at the moment"

"Will it make me blush?"

He tweaked her nose, "Undoubtedly, love"

"I feel ridiculous that I have a baby and need this" she said, softly.

"Again, a product of your upbringing, which by the way, we will raise our daughters differently"

"Our daughters?" Adelaide smiled.

"Wee ones that look exactly like their mama" Neil said, with a grin, "complete with her feisty personality"

"Feisty?" Adelaide poked him, "you are one to talk"

"True" he looked at her, solemnly, "We are doomed, lass"

She giggled, "Probably so"

"So..." he paused and looked at her.

She nodded.

"So tell me about this text book Simon lent you way back when" Neil began.

She blushed hard, "I didn't quite get through the first paragraph"

"No?" his eyes twinkled.

"It was terrifying"

"Poor man" Neil sighed.

"Poor Simon?" Adelaide poked him again, "What about me?"

"Well, as a nurse, I would think you would have a little more maturity than that. You are eager to watch me cut people open"

"Well, not that part of people" Adelaide squeaked, "And I worked with women, not men...and considering I'm Julia's daughter, you should know better"

"Okay, fair point" He chuckled, "Ask questions, lass"

"Yes, Doctor MacNeill" she said.

"Are you too cold?"

She nodded.

"Let's go inside. We'll talk in the lab" he winked at her, "Must be professional about this"

Adelaide rolled her eyes as she took his hand.

They spent the next half an hour going through one of Neil's old textbooks, him filling in the gaps for her, giving her the most frank birds and the bees lesson ever. Typical Neil didn't hold back even throwing in some more shocking revelations. And when Adelaide's jaw dropped, he laughed and gently tapped her chin up.

"I think that is enough for tonight"

"I'm glad Simon didn't tell me all of that" Adelaide said, "I would have gone and slept in the other room"

Neil threw back his head and laughed, "Ye are a much more mature lass these days and I'm sure eventually you would have discovered some of this with him"

"Do you think?"

"I do" He nodded. "Don't worry there. Focus on the present and the future, Adelaide, not the past"

"You're right" She bit her lip, "Neil?"

He closed the book and placed it on the table, "Hum?"

"I'm sorry about earlier. I know you thought I was ridiculous to let what they said about you and Margaret bother me"

"No" Neil said, amused, "Never"

She poked at him, "be sweet"

He pulled her closer, his arm around her waist. "I don't want you to compare yourself to Margaret. I understood where you were coming from though. You are a perfectionist through and through, Adelaide, but you just have to be yourself, truly...that's all I want. I was frustrated because you weren't being yourself with me and you were holding back from me"

She nodded. "But was she really as beautiful as everyone said she was?"

"Aye" he rubbed her shoulder with his fingers, "She captivated me. I had to have her. She had such a creative mind and wild spirit"

"Her pictures were beautiful" Adelaide said.

"Aye, they were" He pulled her away from her, "Adelaide, the women were right about the passionate nature of our relationship"

"I knew they were from what you've told me" she said, quietly.

"But the passion between Margaret and I was toxic to my soul" he said, "the passion between you and I is healing me. Please don't forget that"

"Do you truly believe that?" Adelaide asked.

"I do, Adelaide" Neil said, "I wouldn't change you for anything in this world. You are beautiful to me-inside and out"

She thought about his words, "So you don't wish you could have married my sister over me?"

"What?" Neil was stunned, "Did you think that?"

"I don't know" She whispered, "besides Simon, everyone always loved her more, Neil. And you were completely in love with her and devastated when she chose David. And they practically forced us to marry...I just..." her voice trailed off.

"You are completely different than your sister, lass. I appreciate you for who you are- not that you are related to your sister"

"I'm just a poor substitute for her"

"Is that what you have been thinking for the past week?" he asked, incredulously.

"At times"

"Adelaide" Neil thought for a moment, before continuing, "it's simply not true, lass. What we are doing here, it has the potential to be quite special. Don't let your insecurities ruin what we could have"

"I feel so huge after the baby" she whispered, "That's a big part of everything"

"I gathered that from our conversation earlier" he told her.

"Christy looks how I used to look and Margaret, you clearly were so taken with her. I can't compare right now"

"Oh, Adelaide" Neil snuggled her against him, "The weight will come off and you are so attractive to me. It bothers you infinitely more than it bothers me"

"I know you think it vain" Adelaide sighed, "I think it vain and I've been flogging myself over it, but..."

He kissed her head, "It's still the way you feel"

"I just think if we had married 6 months from now when we were both in love, I think it would have been completely different. I think it would have been blissful and all this going on in my head would have been nonexistent"

He nodded, "I agree, but that doesn't mean that we can't get there and that this journey that we are taking is bad. My marriage with Margaret was unhappy, lass. I want to be happy with you. Please don't push me away. If you are feeling certain things, get them out and I'll try to do the same"

She reached for his hand, squeezing it, "One thing I do know, Neil MacNeill" she rubbed their hands against his leg, "you have become my best friend in this world. Let's never lose that"

"Never" Neil smiled and stood with her. "That is a fine way to start a marriage, lass"

"I agree, actually"

They passed Simon still sleeping contently in his cradle. Neil scooped her up in his arms, "I'm ready for some more love making with my wife. Needless to say, our talk has put me in the mood"

"Why Doctor MacNeill" Her voice was teasing, "I thought you said we had to be professional about it"

"I'm a man and you are my very desirable wife sitting next to me talking about sex. We are done being professional"

She chuckled, contended as she looked back towards her sleeping son, "Simon might just have to cry himself back to sleep tonight"

"That's the spirit" Neil laughed deeply before running up the stairs with her.


End file.
